Grudges or not?

United States
July 25, 2008 12:19pm CST
Can you let go of things really quickly, or do you keep grudges? If so, for how long do you keep them? Has it affected you? I, myself, am a person who shakes off things pretty quickly. I forgive, but never forget, of course. But for example, in relationships, I can stop liking someone right away, if they ever did something to me, or we broke up. So I don't have a hard time dealing with break ups. I can like really quickly too, but I guess to stop liking them is more of an advantage. What about you?
5 people like this
15 responses
@MaeTsuen (257)
• Philippines
26 Jul 08
o.0 i don't forgive right away i may accept your sorry but it doesn't mean you are forgiven... only time will tell when. It will be between me and god as to when can i say to myself that i have forgiven you. i will talk to you the following day and etc but deep inside and god knows i have not forgotten what you did. but i don't like keeping them for long i don't want to make them a problem to myself eventually i let go of the grudges and move on.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jul 08
That's like me. I'll talk to the person and stuff, but I won't forget what they did.
1 person likes this
@Anne19 (300)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
When someone hurts you so much it's just so hard to forget your grudges. But, it wouldn't do you any good. You'll just suffer emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually. I don't hold grudges with people in general but I must agree with you, it is the bad things that people do to us that we can't forget. I think its more of like we became more cautious of those people who has wronged us in the past.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jul 08
I am the same way, it is difficult for me to let go of grudges.
1 person likes this
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I can hold a grudge forever. I do not get over something someone has done to me very easy.
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8732)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I can let go of grudges fairly fast. Except when the person continually does things to irritate me. Like the ex. I'll quit having a grudge when I'm dancing on his grave.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
26 Jul 08
well, i think i am not the type of person who hold grudges for too long... i don't like to do that and it is not healthy as well for me... i prefer to forgive and forget... let go... it is much better than holding on to a grudge and it can lead to hate and bitterness as well which i don't want to let it happen to me... life is too short for that... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
26 Jul 08
I tend to let things go, it takes too much energy to worry and harbor grudges about things which have passed and you can do nothing to change. My mother always used to say: If you can do something about it, do so, if you cant, why worry. I have known friends who hold grudges though, and it seems to make them a little bit "bitter and twisted", its not worth the time and energy.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jul 08
I guess I kind of hold grudges. It depends on who the person is. If it's a really close friend or family, I usually forgive them, but I always remember it in the back of my mind. If it's a casual aquaintance, or someone I don't really care about, I will probably hold a grudge for a while.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
25 Jul 08
Yes, I am known to hold some grudges. They have lessened over the years. I realized a long time ago that holding these grudges really does not help much. I am just storing stress inside myself. I think I am just hurting myself in the long run. But some things have happened that I have a hard time forgiving or forgetting. I have gotten treated in an ill manner a few times in my life that are just too unforgettable to me. But I think that if we try to think more of what we have today and count our blessings we can find a way to let go of certain memories.
1 person likes this
@debjit (339)
• India
25 Jul 08
Hi friends. I consider myself as one cool-headed person. I don't become angry too often. Or even if I do, I think rationally and get my cool back. But somthing I can never stand when I am being cheated for somthing. When I face such thing I just can't forgive the person or forget it. I keep grudges on the person for very long, sometimes lifelong.
1 person likes this
@heartonfire (4131)
• Denmark
25 Jul 08
I can say I envy you for being able to cut the bad from the rooths, I can't let go that easily and I always try to solve things if they can be solved,and I tend to forgive rather than keep the grudges ... I know people make mistakes,I make them too and with tolerance we can solve them if there is will... I can't say i forget them either,but I just take them into consideration for the future and yes if somebody really offended me or did something very harmfull to my life I exclude him ..but generally speaking I am a talker, I discuss problems and let known my points of view and usually solve situations and get over them...and the time passing, I can go back to a decision i took and change my mind if the person changes too
• Turkey
26 Jul 08
I'm like you most of the time I can forgive pretty quickly but I find it hard to forget at times. Forgetting is not an easy task, even if you want to forget what happened and put it in the past. It has do a lot with trust I think. It's hard to trust a person who has hurt you in the past. So, while you may forgive them, you still always have the warning signs and defenses up in the background.
• Turkey
26 Jul 08
I do have to add though, that I think forgiving has a lot to do with what has taken place. There's certain things I will forgive and then there those that I won't. Plus, it's hard to keep forgiving the same offence over and over again. For me, I come to a point when I grow weary and tired and I just want peace and so I may keep my distance. I can only take so much...
@jmarquis (28)
• United States
26 Jul 08
For me, it depends on how severe the situation is. Most of time, I don't let things bother me for more than a couple of minutes. I also blow most things people say off. However, if you do something to my family or to screw me over, generally, I'll stop talking to that person for good.
• United States
26 Jul 08
Hey there rubired, I think you need to realize that stopping your feelings for someone is not always an advantage. Yes, it can be if you have gone through a bad break up or the person has really hurt you in ways unspeakable, but I believe that the more people you like, the more people like you. Also, the more friends you have, male or female, the more you cherish you life and everything in it. Not to sound like a hippy or anything of that sort but love makes the world go round. Without it, there would be less motivation, less congregation, and definately less communication. I hope you realize all of that. But, to get to the topic at hand, I do not believe it morally right to hold grudges. If the person truly knows what they did wrong and are willing to show scars (physically or symbolically), meaning that they have healed from what has been done, one must learn to forgive. God has forgiven all of us and he was perfect. He is actually the definition of perfect in my dictionary, so why can't we all just strive to be perfect and forgive. So, no, I don't hold grudges. I find it to be, how can I say it, "heartless". Hope this spells things out for you and keep speaking out. Show your true colors and be proud of who you are! Thank you for your time.
@shana123 (2096)
• India
26 Jul 08
when your forgiving someone you have to forget it completely if not there is no point in forgiving, this is my policy
26 Jul 08
no relation ship iz make power in real life