My daughter has chosen her career......

@snoopy04 (718)
United States
July 26, 2008 4:49pm CST
My daughter Erica has chosen her career and some of my friends think I need to have a long talk with her and tell her she is thinking foolish thoughts. She has decided to become a pediatrician, a ghosthunter and a astronmer. She has always wanted to be a peditrician and I have always supported her in this decision. I have told her how important grades are and what is involved in becoming a peditrician. Well she is a huge fan of the tv show Ghosthunters and has decided she to wants to be a ghosthunter. Now where she cma eup with astronomer I am not sure. But everyone tells me that I should get this crazy idea of being a ghosthunter out of her head and that she shouldnt watch the show anymore. The show is causing her to stray from becoming a doctor and that I should support such crazy ideas. Well I know that she will make the right decision when she is older and I am not really worried about it. When I was her age I wanted to be like Charlies Angel and be a sexy private investigator. But as I got older I realized it was just a fantasy and that I wanted to do something totally different. I was never able to go to college because of finances and my grades were terrible. But Erica is a A student and she wants to go college. I know that she to will outgrow the cocept of becoming a ghosthunter and will make the right decision. Maybe I have to much faith in my kids but she has never given me any reason not to. I dont blame the show and I certainly wont ban her from watching it but I am the one to guide her in the right direction and show her how to make the right decisions not some show on tv. I have watched it with her and maybe when the kids are making a life of their own thats what me and my husband will do become ghosthunters. What do you think?
8 people like this
18 responses
@LimoChang (193)
• China
27 Jul 08
As a daughter,i do understand how difficult it is for you to deal with this whole thing and I really hope i can be of some help here.You said that as she is older,she will be able to make the right choice,but i think the ability to make the right choice is through experience,if she even can't get the chance to try,how can she learn something from it.Besides, how you define the word "right"is perhaps different with mine,what is right for her is what makes her happy.Here,the happiness i mentioned is not indulge or abandon oneself but to get real pleasure.Look back, i think what makes me feel bad is not the fact that i made it wrong but i didn't get a shot.As long as i tried,i feel complete. Of course, children easily make wrong choices esp because they can't look far to see what will come .As an experienced mom,talk to her about your life,about the consequences.If she still think it's the best choice for her,support the idea and let her go her own way.
2 people like this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
27 Jul 08
Thanks for the response. It has given me something to think about.
1 person likes this
@rachael5760 (2740)
• Israel
27 Jul 08
My first question is how old is your daughter? If she is 18, and leaglly an adult, then you can give your opinion. She has to make the choice. If she is still a minor, then trying to ban her from doing something wlll only make her want it more. Let her see how silly that movie is and tell her it is only a story. Tell her that a peditrician is a noble profession and she will be helping many many children throughout her life.
2 people like this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
27 Jul 08
She is ten. She is determined to be a peditrican. So I am saving so she can have the opprutunity to go to college.
1 person likes this
@shana123 (2096)
• India
27 Jul 08
She has simply got fascinated to that show thats all and you cannot simply go and stop her fro watching it ,if you do she would not be happy and think that your not understanding her feelings .First just divert her thoughts by highlightings things in the other field like pediatrician is such a good field where she will be really treating young childs its happy to see their faces glow and its really divine .She will be enjoying her job like that. Its up in your hands to change the mind of your kid and to make her grow in a good way and also help her in choosing her career, if your child is choosing a good career why you need to bother if she isnt then you have to bother a lot after all its your child's life..Take care hope for the best
2 people like this
@sedel1027 (17854)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Your daughter needs to decide for herself what she wants to do. If you influence her decision and she finishes her degree only to not use it because she hates the field, what a waste of time and money. If she doesn't know what she want to do, encourage her to take her general courses first - since she will end them anyway - and take a few courses that will qualify as electives, but are in the fields she is interested in. You should also encourage her to get a part time job in a field that she thinks she may want to work in. If she wants to be a ghost hunter and gets an astronomy degree (not quite sure how they two are related in her mind), she can always teach or work in a lab somewhere and do the ghost hunting on the side. I think it is good she is thinking about all kinds of options now rather than waiting until the last minute or getting a degree just to have one and then not using it.
• United States
27 Jul 08
I remember having some "pie in the sky" aspirations when I was a teen wanting to try to do things that were impractical or seem like fantasies. But, I ended up going to college anyway and getting a practical job. I actually work part time at that job and I do my other "jobs" the rest of the time and I do alright. In my opinion, you should tell your daughter that it's nice that she wants to do these other things, but, perhaps, she should go to college and have a back-up plan. I mean, it can't hurt. Astronomy is actually a good career to encourage her on as it involves taking a lot of math and science courses that can really help her land a good job with good pay. Or, if she hates math, you can tell her that any career in the sciences involves studying tons of advanced mathematics. I would also tell her that she can always do ghosthunting on the side, part time. I wouldn't worry too much about it. When she begins to go out and try to study a course in some things or tries to get a job, she will realize that she needs to be more practical. I think, at this age, kids are exploring a lot of possibilities in their minds.
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
27 Jul 08
I do to. I changed my mind so many times lol. She actually likes math and that is her best subject. She also like science to. She is always reading books and learning about everything under the sun. I am always amazed at some of the things that comes out of her mouth.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 08
If she's good at math, a science career, like astronomy, might be a good thing. If she is good at physics, then she can do anything.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
27 Jul 08
I think these 'friends' of yours are not really friends at all. None of MY friends that I consider real friends would have that type of attitude towards me OR my children, and if they did, I suppose I'd tell them they were ridiculous. I am not sure how old your daughter is right now, but when I was little, what I wanted to be ranged from a veterinarian, to a race horse jockey, flight attendant, attorney, hairdresser, counselor, and a mommy. I am a mommy, I decided that too much college was required to be a vet or an attorney, and to be honest, I still do things that could double as jockey, flight attendant, hairdresser, and counselor. The show is not 'causing her' to stray from anything, kids have vivid imaginations and so many ideas and dreams! To try and steer her away from that would be a mistake of a lifetime. I hope all these well meaning people realize that kids still dream big, they still believe in themselves. When you tell a little girl that she can be anything she wants at three years old, she most honestly and truly believes she CAN! Add 20 years to that and you have a cynical disbelieving young adult who doesn't always follow their dreams any more in favor of just getting by. Embrace your daughter's dreams, she will be a happier person.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
27 Jul 08
I wanted to add too that there is absolutely no reason she cannot do all three of those things. I'm sure she understands that while being a ped would be her career, the others can still be a big part of her life as hobbies - there is not much money to be made in those fields which is probably why your friends are saying what they are. I do not believe that has been lost on your daughter though.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 08
I would continue to support her in being a Pediatrician. Astronomy is fun, but I don't think that there is any money in it. It would be a great hobby. Now as far as ghosthunting. There's nothing crazy about it. It is part of the existing world. I am a ghosthunter, and certified in paranormal investigating. It's a hobby base only. There is no money in it. Now if there is someone who feels that there house is haunted, they can give a donation for the investigation, that's fine. But what the ghosthunters do on TAPS, is all donation based and they use the money to travel all over and to buy equipment. That's what I do. All ghosthunters have a real job. I would sit her down, and explain the difference between a hobby and a real paying job. The pediatrician will be a real paying job. I'm not sure the age of your daughter, but if she's young enough, this may pass. If she's in her later teens, then I'd lay it out on the table for her. Hobbies vs Jobs. I hope you find this helpful.
1 person likes this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
27 Jul 08
Yes this has been very helpful. My daughter is ten and she has told me that ghosthunting isnt to make money, she finds it intresting. She is very smart for her age and makes straight As on her report card. Her teachers have told me she is very gifted and very mature for her age. We have been talking about when she gets older what she wants to do and she is determined to go to college and become a pedetrician. She says she wants to do ghosthunting but she knows it isnt what she wants her job to be. She says it would be something to do on the weekends lol. As far as astronomy goes she thinks its intresting and that she would consider a hobby. She may be ten but she thinks like she is twenty. Thanks for the response it really was helpful.
2 people like this
@Elixiress (3893)
27 Jul 08
I think that your friends are blowing it out of proportion especially since many of them still have fantasy ideas of the jobs they want to do, however they may have normal jobs in real life. I do not know how old your daughter is, but if she is an A grade student then I am sure she is sensible and knows that being a ghost hunter and an astronomer is not really achievable to most people. I think you should just make sure she does well in school and further education and then she will have many opportunities of what to do with her life rather than being forced into a career or getting into a career and having to stick with that forever.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
27 Jul 08
First of all, you should respect others interest. But if you find anything wrong in her interest then you should discuss it with her. Otherwise please don't force her or anyone to do or not to do something. EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO LEAD HIS LIFE AS HIS WILL. We just can show them the right path...
1 person likes this
@Annmac (950)
27 Jul 08
I think your friends need reminding that they were that age once too. Are they in the Careers they wanted? I doubt it. This year it's a ghosthunter, next year she'll want to become a top model or a Paeleontologist or go back to wanting to be a Doctor. As for anyone elses fantasies being crazy, who are they to 'judge'. Why shouldn't she become a Ghosthunter if that's what she wants? She might be incredibly happy doing that. If I was you, I'd talk to her about the realities of becoming one as seriously as you discussed becoming a Doctor. Discuss the pro's and con's with her. To ridicule her ideas or to ban her watching the program wouldn't stop her from wanting to do it. It might even make it seem more glamorous! I think you've got the right attitude, you know that HOW to make decisions is more important than what those decisions are. Our children will make their own path and we may not always like the choices they make but we can't make those choices for them.
1 person likes this
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
28 Jul 08
I think you should support your daughter in whatever she wants to do. Encourage her to keep going for the pediatrician career. I'm sure by the time she gets to college she will not worry about the ghosthunter thing and focus more on pediatrician.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
27 Jul 08
while my kids have sort of decided what they want to do, they havent really yet. the job that they want to do should be something that can sustain their lifestyle as they grow older. (my daughters are 11 and 14).
@Valenas (1510)
• United States
27 Jul 08
Ghost Hunters rocks, although it's not a profession for them, but a hobby that is a major part of their lives. I am 18, and I believe that I have, for the most part, realistic views, and I would be excited if, after I finish all of my schooling, I could get a good job and search for paranormal activity in my free time. My friend, who lives on the other side of the country, is older than I am, but we both have the same dreams. So, if your child wants to be a Ghost Hunter, it's a full-time hobby, so she better have some free time. Now, as far as being both a pediatrician and an astronomer, it is going to take a lot of schooling. You need to tell your daughter to prioritize. It sounds like she has always wanted to be a pediatrician, so she needs to go to school for that first. If there are any classes on Astronomy, then she can take those on the side, and perhaps get a minor in that area.
@cripfemme (7715)
• United States
27 Jul 08
As you said, your daughter will probably outgrow it and find something more practical to do. When I was younger I really wanted to be a veterinarian but my hands shook too much because of my disability. Writing was a more practical career for me because it doesn't matter if my hands shake as long as I can type and if I'm having a bad typing day, which happens more and more frequently lately sadly enough, I can dictate to the people that work for me. My fingers are grateful for this. The point is, that whatever your kid decides to do your job is to support them as long as it is not illegal or immoral. Whatever my kid wants to be, as long as it meets those two criteria, is fine with me even if it's crazy. The world I guess needs its ghost hunters as well as its doctors.
@movicont (495)
• United States
27 Jul 08
I wouldn't be so worried about her. I doubt that she views ghost-hunting as a full-time job--it's much more likely she'll stick to being a pediatrician as her main source of income. Being obsessed with a TV isn't a big deal; she'll get over it eventually, when the show loses its spice. These foolish thoughts will only become foolish if she really chooses to act out on them in real life. As of now, it's just an amusing fantasy for her, and there's no need for you to intervene with something she enjoys.
• United States
27 Jul 08
Isn't it wonderful that we live in a time and place where she's able to reach for the stars and not be constrained by convention? My oldest is going off to college in August to major in musical theatre. Of course my husband and I are worried if she'll ever make a decent living with this. We went to see her in "Aida" (she is Aida) and she's incredible. Right now she's pursuing her dream and I told her to go for it. She's also minoring or double majoring in journalism because she'd like to write on a magazine one day. She's already called Seventeen Magazine and asked them what she needed to do to become one of their writers. I told her to go for it, but be smart about it. At the end of the day, she's still got to eat and pay her rent.
@irishidid (8732)
• United States
27 Jul 08
Kids changed their minds like the wind. I had all sorts of ideas when I was younger. I have ended up being a writer. You are doing a good job at being positive, which is a good thing and letting her dream. Ghost hunting is more of a hobby than a career. Otherwise the Ghost Hunter guys wouldn't need to plunge clogged toilets for money.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jul 08
snoopy4 when your daughter gets out of college she will'havemade the right decision as you taught her how to do so. no need to worry about her watching ghosthunter now. its aways off and she will do you proud I am sure.we do our best to 'rteach our kids the right things then we have to stand off aways'and let them show us that they learned very well from us. they will 'always make us proud of them,