How Can You Makeup For Not Being There...?

Providing Money - Is it Enough?
@Muelitz (1592)
Canada
July 27, 2008 3:02pm CST
I am working abroad, actually I am already an immigrant here in Canada and my wife and kids are still in the Philippines awaiting the processing of their Visa. I could give them money so they can buy things that they like but would that be enough. Can it be considered a my participation in raising my kids and being a good husband to my wife? What else can I do to make my wife and kids feel that I love them and would be there for them if I really can? Can you please suggest? Thanks in advance.
4 people like this
14 responses
@Vladilyich1 (1453)
• Canada
27 Jul 08
That is an excellent question, and one I really can't answer. I worked abroad during several marriages. They didn't work out, even though I still have good relationships with my children
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Jul 08
Walker. You're in another country for our marriage too, and we have excellent communication. You still have great relationships with the children, but also with ME too (Muelitz, Walker and I don't have hildren together and aren't planning on it) I think both people need to work on this. Since you and I are both working on communication, Walker, and we both know what we are in for, WE ARE MAKING IT WORK, and we'll be together again beore we know it. I love you. Love Your Favourite Wife
1 person likes this
@Muelitz (1592)
• Canada
28 Jul 08
Did not know that your husband also is a member of myLot. Whatever plans the two of you have, I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
28 Jul 08
Hi Muelitz, I admire your great heart for your family! That is one thing we can be proud of to be "pinoy"! LOL! ANyway, I am sure that even if you are far from them, they feel your care and love..Just have constant communication to everyone, like chatting online with webcam and asking your kids about their studies and everything, be part of their daily activity even if you are far. My dad was working away from us for 15 years but we always feel his sincere and genuine love for us...That time no cellphone yet, we don;'t have also telephone so we were exchanging letters every month and special occasion.. I am very proud of my Dad and Mom for being tough, loving and caring! I know your children and wife feel the same!
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jul 08
Thanks for the BR and happy posting!
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
28 Jul 08
well, you are right that money is not everything and your wife and kids need more than just your financial support... they need your love and be present for them when they need you... you are doing the right thing anyway... you are working and earning money for them to give them a better life... for the time being, what you can do is call them as often as you can and go home whenever you have a holiday... i wish you best of luck and hopefully your wife and kids can get their visa soon so that they can join you to canada... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• India
28 Jul 08
As your cares about your family it shows you are a good human . In a situation you can't do much but I personally think that money is not substitute of love.Your time with your family would be precious to your family.So give them call regularly ,show your emotions for them.
@tholitz (1127)
• Philippines
28 Jul 08
Hi Muelitz! I think this is the price of thinking ahead, of how we could give a better future for our family. Working abroad give us opportunity to provide more than enough or more than the needs of our family, but it will also move us to be physically away from our family. It's good that with today's technology, we could maintain our constant communication with our family. Maybe remembering the important days in their life, giving them a call to greet them on their birthdays, encouraging them during school activities, comforting them when they are sick, etc. Being there whenever they need you in whatever way you could do (phone, internet, etc.) to let them feel you're presence and support, even in mental or emotional way.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jul 08
Tough subject, definitely. Just little things - i think - can show people that you really care. Sending a card, making a phone call, when you do see them doing special things like making a nice dinner or giving little gifts, all help.
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Jul 08
Well, obviously you have a computer. Do they have one as well? You could consider purchasing a microphone or a webcam (or both) and talk to/see them that way. It would be a good way of communicating since you can't actually be there, but you could still be a part of their lives.
@Muelitz (1592)
• Canada
28 Jul 08
Yes we do chat regularly (every weekend). The problem is they are just using dial-up so voice chat is not good. Maybe when the DSL plan has been approved we can do it. Thanks for the advice.
• Canada
27 Jul 08
My husbad is working in he USA, and I'm in Canada. Your financial support is wonderful, but what is even more wonderful is that you want o be there for them in more ways than just as a provider. My American husband and I talk on the phone a number of times a day. This may be a little expensie when calling The Phillipies. Have you checked with your phone company to see i there is a good overseas calling plan for them? Communicaion is the best way to remain involved. Liten to them. Let them know you are thinking about them. Tell them aout your life in Canada. Be kind and sincere in your communication. Let them KNOW how much you love them.
@Muelitz (1592)
• Canada
28 Jul 08
You are right about the long distance calls. It is kind of expensive, There are long distance phone plans from US to Philippines that are bundled with cable, landline and internet but I am not so sure if Canada's Phone company has the same. I will try and get info. Thanks for the advice. At the moment we do chat every weekend and I get to see my family on webcam.
@myliezl0903 (2731)
• Philippines
28 Jul 08
hi there! i am also into long distance relationship but i am not yet married.,my fiance is in singapore for 2 years now.,it is really hard to be on this kind of relationship but we can't really do anything about it cause what we're stake here is the future of both sides ., i understand that you need to do it because you have your family now., your wife plus kids., we do have a lot of things now were we could use for us to communicate with our loved ones., we do have an internet, celphone for text messages or if you want to call them you could be able to use it.,the least that you can do now for them is to make them feel that your just there., so i suggest "communication" is one of the advisable for this kind of relationship.,
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Jul 08
hi muelitz well I think you are doing the best you can, but sending some money will of course be helpful, but keeping in touch is really vital, write tell them how much you love and miss them, phone as much as you can afford and tellthem how much you miss them, webcam if you have it, thats about all I ' could suggest I am sure they knw how much you miss them and love' them. good luck and God Bless
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
28 Jul 08
well good for you to have a job there. anyway there is really no substitute for being there with your family. no amount of money can ever replace that. but you can do something about it. with the technology becoming cheap even here in the Philippines. why not let them apply for DSL and let them but a computer with videocam and headset. so that you can talk and see your family everyday for more than an hour. it's ALMOST being there.:) have a good day:)
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
27 Jul 08
when you love someone everything comes out naturally. you can do a lot of things beyond you knowing it. awhen we are far from our family the major thing we can do for them is to send money. but thanks to the high technology of internet and chatting plus the web cam. we can chat with them and you still can see them and they can see you. you can talk to them to make sure that they are all right. openning communication even you are far is a good plus to make them feel secured.
@littleowl (7157)
27 Jul 08
Hi muelitz wish \i could give you some advice but think that what you have said you would like to do eg send money or something would be welcomed and they will always know that you love them-sometimes its the smallest things that count and mean more blessings littleowl
27 Jul 08
Hi Muelitz, I think sending money to your will help her greatly, after all she have to bring them without for sometime so yes keep sending money for her and the kids Tamara