My ex vs. His Ex.. Am I totally wrong?....Opinions please

@nanciem (1106)
United States
July 28, 2008 8:57am CST
My ex and I have been very close for the past 22 years (ex b/f), we have a child together who is now 21, we were both young 16 and 17, broke up because we both grew apart, but best of friends now. I am currently in a relationship of 4 years and have a 2 year old son, my Ex babysits my son while I work (remote computer support so I am home). Now my current partner is divorced and I cannot even express how angry I would be if he kept communications with her, she was a rude, using and awful person.. but he loved he so much after she cheated he was literally standing on a bridge here in NY to jump off. Is it wrong of me to (geeze I hate this word but here goes) Forbid him from keeping in contact with her, when my ex babysits mine and his son?
1 response
@shooie (4989)
• United States
28 Jul 08
Personally I would say no you do not have the right to do so if you are still talking well having yours babysit for you. There is no difference yes you and yours parted ways and are friends. Your boyfriend and his ex part ugly probably but you do not have a right to put your foot down and forbid (ya that word does sound bad when ya type it even...lol) him to talk to her. The day you walk away from being friends with your ex is the day you can make this kind of command. If for reason you do decide to say something then show him respect and don't yell at him if he says the same back to you and don't use the excuse it is different. Did your current boyfriend and his wife have kids? If so there will have to be some kind of contact if some of his are still young well if he had any. I'm married to someone that has an ex and i can't stand her but i don't say you can't talk to her. but then again he hast to keep in touch for at least another year and half until he doesn't have to pay child support. I have Ee-boyfriends I still talk to but he doesn't care.....He trust me and I trust him. Him and his ex-wife parted because she cheated on him not just once.
@nanciem (1106)
• United States
28 Jul 08
Hi Shooie! TY so much for the hinesty, yes that word is so bad LOL, My current and his ex have no children. And I guess I know I am wrong because I would not bring this up right? But you see she was so bad to him, yo-yo thing ya know, he came home from work had a For Slae sign on the house, depleted his bank account, had affairs, all of which he has told me, and his brother has told me. I really do not want him communicating with her as she has this way of "tugging on his heart strings", maybe I am masking something and trying to justify my childish "demands" it's just so hurtful to even imagine she could have some sort of Hold over him, he's a wonderful, caring person and deserves to be treated as he treats others... Am I making sense? Thank you again for your response, It will be absorbed as I know you are correct!
@shooie (4989)
• United States
28 Jul 08
It does make sense and I do see where you are coming from but like I said doesn't matter how bad she treated him well we really don't have a right to forbid anyone from anything like no one has a right to do it to us. You been together 4 years I think you said so he is apparently happy where he is so ummm I wouldn't worry about it. Don't forbid him because she pulls on his heart strings because what you may end up doing is drive him into her arms and well ya don't wanna do that.