Boys, boys, boys

@winterose (39918)
Canada
July 29, 2008 4:14pm CST
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?memberId=58226&articleId=281474976767254&nav=MyGather for those of you reading this current selection of teenagers and boys, the title is boys, boys, boys, cause frankly during my teenager years boys were the only thing that really mattered, at 14, I just couldn't think of anything else more important. Here is an excerpt: I had my goals set very high, I wanted the best looking boy, the boy that every girl wished she had. Heck what did I know at 14 years old – It took me over 40 years to realize that having the best looking guy didn't necessarily mean having the best relationship. Now for the discussion questions 1- as a teenager were boys, or girls, depending upon your genre the most important thing in your life, to answer this question you must not think like the adult you are today, but the teenager you were back then. 2- Did you have self esteem issues? 3- Do you still today have self esteem issues? If so how did you handle it back then? How are you handling it now?
7 people like this
12 responses
@munhozmib (3857)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
30 Jul 08
Hello, winterose! I am a teenager right now. Girls are not the only thing that pass through my head. I have my girlfriend, but even before I wasn't like: "Girls, girls". I have always been so comfortable, but of course I wouldn't miss the chance if a girl wanted to be with me. Now, I still have self-esteem issues. I don't know if it's self-esteem or "seeing the reality" problem. I say that I am ugly, but honestly I am ugly. lol There is no way to change that, nothing will change my appearance, no matter my esteem. I can just be an ugly person who sees the truth or an ugly person that thinks he is the best. And no, I'm not ugly to the point of being alone forever... I can still conquer girls, so being ugly is not much of a problem. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
3 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 Jul 08
well if that is your picture you are anything but ugly, because a person is not the greatest looking person in the world, does not mean he or she is ugly, there are so many levels in between.
2 people like this
@munhozmib (3857)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
31 Jul 08
Hey, thanks for your comment. :D Actually, that is the worst picture that I found of myself, and it is already old. ;)
@tholmes (101)
• Canada
29 Jul 08
At 14 I was not really interested in girls at all, I was more interested in making it through the day.. I was living alone on the street at this age, so my only concerns were staying warm, making it to to next day in one piece and where my next meal was going to come from.. The only girls I knew would be the kind you would not want to take home to mom, truly scary some of them!! lol...
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
29 Jul 08
oh my gosh T, that is so sad, I am so sorry that you had to go through that.
1 person likes this
@tholmes (101)
• Canada
29 Jul 08
Thanks winterose, that is just a part of what life was like for me :-) I think it made me a better person anyways.. Or at least I hope it did.. :-) Have a great day my friend..
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
29 Jul 08
Yes they were one of the most important things for me at 14! I had a huge crush on a boy at high school but then at weekends he would be forgotten about and it would be off up town with my mates. We would then proceed to have some dinner and chase down the local talent, it was a blast, we had such fun I can tell you. I did not have self esteem issues really, and today I have to say that some days I do and some days I do not, it all depends on what I see when I look in the mirror. I am definately worse today than when I was 14. Boy mad, as my Dad used to say LOL
3 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
29 Jul 08
awe the bubbling teenagers my grandmother used to say I was gaga for boys, lol, these stories do make me smile when I think about them. thanks for your continued support of my stories, love you why wouldn't I you are another rose,
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
30 Jul 08
You are welcome, I support your stories because they are fascinating and I genuinely enjoy to read them.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
30 Jul 08
Honey when I was a teen my horse and weather I could win my silver spurs at the gymkhana events but boys were on my mind too! They had to be cute in a stetson (cowboy hat) and have a way of jingling(spurs) when they sauntered through the crowd and they had to be able to ride well! My self esteeme was about average. I had lots of friends, was a cheerleader, got asked out alot, but like all teens thought my nose was too long or my feet too big or my boobs bounced too much when I walked.I was a normal teen. All teens have self esteeme problems or self doubts. Today I still have my self doubts but they transulate to trust issues. A man in a stetson still turns my head but today I won't go neck in the hayloft with them!hehe I handle things or don't handle them the same. When I'm feeling unsure I'll hide in a book until I can face the sun again. xoxoxoxoxo
3 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 Jul 08
yes most teens have self esteem issues, at least in our countries, adults, will that is an entirely different ball games. Some do, some don't self esteem issues in adulthood can present major problems, from dating to getting the jobs in life that you deserve, it is a serious issue, trust issue is just as serious can hinder relationships I know why you have those issues and it is perfectly understandable, my son does too, he does not trust a relationship plain and simple, he is so young and yes his past relationship did not turn out well for several reasons, I hope he will take a change and try again as he is only 31
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
29 Jul 08
No, boys were not my focus - horses were, mostly. There were a few guys on TV that I was into and then some rock stars, but not the jerks in school. First of all, the guys that I couldn't meet couldn't hurt me. Secondly, you could pretend, write your own fantasies so to speak. I could honestly look at myself and know I wasn't ugly, but I was younger than the other kids in my class, except for maybe one or two, and I was extreamly shy. I am much less so than I was then, because I have chosen to be less shy. Changing was the HARDEST thing I have ever done.
3 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
29 Jul 08
tell me about it, getting over shyness is really difficult, I have some stories coming up in the future about that too. My dogs were also my life, and today I still love animals
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jul 08
As teenager, I liked boys. I was just too shy, serious, and fat to go after anyone. I did have one boy who had a crush on me when I was 17, but due to self-esteem issues, didn't give him much attention. I buried my head in homework, and had a few girl friends with whom I hung out. At one point I had a crush on my male English teacher. All in all, boys were considered silly, and so I concentrated on getting an education. I graduated high school, lost my baby fat, and got a gov't. job. When I joined the B'Nai Brith Young Adult group at age 19, I met and started dating Jerry. I did not think I was good enough for some of the men I dated and/or they didn't think they were good enough for me. It was not until many men later that I married (Jerry); my self-esteem issues were improved.
3 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
29 Jul 08
good to hear you were able to able to overcome your self esteem issues many adults are still dealing with them.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
to a certain extent, guys were extremely important, but always unattainable, so it they didn't really matter as much when i got to high school. self esteem issues? what are you talking about?:/
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 Jul 08
self esteem how you felt about yourself,
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
i was kidding, actually. I just don't like to talk about my self esteem...
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
30 Jul 08
Boys were never that important to me. It was nice to have a boyfriend, and I usually did. But if I didn't, I didn't really care or worry about it. I was shy in school. It's only now that I realize that I was cute as a teen. Back then, no one told me that. In jr. high, my group of girlfriends was named the "too by too's". We were all too something - too shy, too fat, too skinny, too smart... We were all different, but because of that and the fact that we were ignored by the jocks and cheerleader types and merely tolerated by the nerds, we banned together. None of us were boy crazy, so that was another thing we shared.
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 Jul 08
there is no doubt that girlfriends play an important role in a young girl's life, but my friends though we did lots of things together, and we were also not the most popular girls in school, still a major part of that was talking about boys and wishing we had a boyfriend.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
east or west boyz are the best north or south girls are out =P, its really true boyz are the only one who are best in this world lol xD ....
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 Jul 08
thank you for your response
1 person likes this
@CharRay7 (1549)
• United States
30 Jul 08
Hi my friend, I never thought much about dating boys until I was about 15. I know that because I had a boyfriend and I was 15 and wanted to date him but my parents wouldn't allow me to date until I was 16. I met him at Junior Achievement so he didn't go to the same school as I did which only made it worse. So I wouldn't say that boy's were the only important thing in my life back then, just one boy. lol I've always had self-esteem issues but my parents weren't the fault of it. They always tried to boost me up but I always thought I was the fat girl that nobody liked. I went to a Catholic grade school and high school and most the kids parent's were doctors or lawyer's etc. and mine worked in a factory so I didn't fit in. And yes, I still have a self-esteem issues to this day. That's why I'd rather meet people online than in person. I have a real problem with meeting new people in person. I didn't handle it very well back then and I still don't. That's why most days I'm here in the house because I hate to go out to public places. I try to wait if I have to go out to do it all in one day so it will be just one day of anxiety and not a few of them. [i]Happy MyLotting, Char[/i]
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
30 Jul 08
oh hon, I am so sorry to hear about that, it is important to try to get out and talk to people even if you only start by smiling and saying hi to your neighbours.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3805)
• United States
11 Aug 08
At the age of 14, I already had my goal set on joining the military. I had a boyfriend that my brother didn't see as a threat. I saw other boys and thought I wouldn't mind dating, but sad to say, they saw me as friends since we been friends since kindergarten or already knew my brother would probably beat the crap out of them if they talked to me. I never had self esteem issues, I was ok in my own skin, except that I was bigger chested than all the girls in my class. I know for a fact that my chest got a lot of unwanted attention from guys. I have more self esteem issues today than I did way back then when I was 14, sad to say. Funny for me, I was able to handle my self esteem issues by using them towards my advantage. Now, I can't because since having two kids, my looks are harder to bounce back from.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
11 Aug 08
as they say beauty is only skin deep, I look like an hold hag lol, facial hair like you wouldn't believe, obese, graying but my boyfriend loves me.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 08
When I was a teen I had my crushes on the good looking guys in my class but I can't say guys were the most important thin in my life back then. I was in the orchestra and music was more important. Self esteem? What's that? I never had it and I never will. I just assume that I am doomed so when good things happen, I am so surprised.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
3 Aug 08
well I do hope that you will someday come to realize that you are entitled to good things just like everyone else.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 08
Sometimes I do.But not all the time.