Is it OK to call your lover only 3 times per week?

Love is joy - Love is long distance
Malaysia
July 30, 2008 1:14am CST
Hey there mylotters, I am actually referring to LONG DISTANCE relationships where both are busy and see each other as little as twice a week. It might not be the ideal relationship but sometimes when there's 100 things to do a day, is it OK to just be secure that you both are very much in love although you do not call each other every night and just see each other now and then?
13 people like this
49 responses
@riyasam (16578)
• India
30 Jul 08
i can understand your situation from my experience.its good if you can be together most of the time but if its not possible then at least you are giving a try.
4 people like this
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Hey there,thanks for the feedback.
3 people like this
30 Jul 08
no its not ok to call ure lover three times... u shud call wen eva u are free...
2 people like this
@raynejasper (2326)
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
..for me, its ok.. what is important is the assurance you've given to your partner that no matter what happens, no matter if you can't be together all the time, your love will remain.. it is important also that trust is established in a relationship.. of course, you have to dismiss bad accusations and suspicions when one doesn't reply to your messages or when you can't be together.. remember that both of you are busy..
4 people like this
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Yeah, it's hard when you have this kind of relationship. You need to really trust your partner otherwise you might go into a jealousy rage a lot of times.
3 people like this
@nengs10 (3189)
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
I once had a long distance affair. And we set the days to call each other so as not to disturb to one's other duties, etc. It all depends on your agreement. That, for me, is totally negotiable. Well, it would be better if you call more than 3 times a week.
3 people like this
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Hey there, I know it would be better to call more but sometimes we get too busy and we are so tired that it will sometimes will be pointless to call anyway as we do not have the energy to have a good conversation. Thanks. :D
2 people like this
@harrywood (114)
• China
30 Jul 08
If you really love each other,you don't have to be together every minute. I mean,really love. My wife and I didn't work at a same city for six years,and in those years we could only see each other twice a year. And we didn't call each other every night,either.
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Hey there harrywood, thanks for sharing your experience. It makes me feel better as I am in a similiar situation.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56109)
• Delhi, India
31 Jul 08
I think if you cannot call your lover frequently, it should not effect your relationship. The mutual trust, belief and understanding are the important aspects, which matters in a long distance relationship. If you both have mutual understanding and fair amount of trust on each other, I think your relationship will go a long way and it will be a healthy relationship, even if you call your lover only three times in a week.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
1 Aug 08
Yes... trust is to me, the most important element in a Long distance relationship.
@dpk262006 (56109)
• Delhi, India
1 Aug 08
If mutual trust exists, you will surely succeed. Best of luck and best wishes.
• United States
31 Jul 08
There is never a set amount of times you HAVE to call your significant other. Although it would be nice to hear from your loved one every day, some times it just isn't possible. If both people are totally commited and its an adult relationship then there shouldn't be any problems. I don't know anyone who doesn't run out of hours in their day....and some times, that little phone call just isn't at the top of a priority list. As long as you have talked to each other and both know that there is an open line of communication and that the days between calls doesn't mean anything negative then its fine....Otherwise you might have a control freak on your hands and thats just a whole big headache that I would suggest you rid yourself of because what I've learned from experience is that those people can cause more stress and pain in your life than they are worth.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
1 Aug 08
Hey there, yes it's hard when you are in a relationship with a control freak because he/she will create a lot of tension between both of you when a lot of trust issues come out and usually it's hard to be dealt with especially when you are busy.
@neilchua (888)
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
well it really does depend. calling your love one every once a week is still ok. long distance relationship is really very hard to make it work. i said it really depends because it will really depend on both of you. as long as no party is complaining then there will be no problem. if you feel that he is not calling you as often as needed or vice versa, then that is the time that your relationship will be hanging in a balance. hope you could make that work. have a good day:)-NEILâ„¢
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Hey there, thanks for your opinion. It's nice to know there are people who does the same thing.
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21029)
30 Jul 08
Hi Yes I think it is ok, my daughter has been in a long distance relationship for nearly six years and sometimes they will cal every day and others because of their hectic lifestyles it may be a few texts and a couple of calls. As long as their is complete trust in the relationship I don't think it matters the amount of calls rather than the quality and sentiment behind them. Ellie :D
2 people like this
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
Thanks ellie for sharing your daughter's experience. Yes, I do think true love always revolves around trust.
@ishralene09 (2260)
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
Just keep up with the relationship and it's fine. I'm a bum here at the house and my girlfriend landed a job earlier than me. We rarely see each other, but a text or call can do. She even visits me here(poor me, no money). But if you are really busy just try to make up when you see each other, and always try to say hi to him once in a while. Just as they say the farther you are the fonder you get.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
hey there thanks for the statement 'the father you are, the fonder you get'. I feel the same way too. Thanks.
2 people like this
@pkraj111 (2459)
• India
30 Jul 08
Its absolutely OK.These are the days where we need to concentrate on career
2 people like this
@knightrider (1083)
• India
30 Jul 08
if your lover calls you on a daily basis its ok for you to call your lover 2-3 times a week, otherwise you shdcall on adaily basis, otherwise the continuity is lost in a budding relationship, you get me
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
1 Aug 08
I would say considering the circumstances, three times a week is fine. It is better than once a week or once a month. I am sure that your lover understands and you understand that both of you are busy. You do not need to call each other every night. It does not mean that you are ignoring each other.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
11 Aug 08
thank you for your insights.
@littleowl (7157)
1 Aug 08
Hi koharukusumi..I have a long distance relationship just like yours, sometimes we only text once a week but he has a horse breaking yaed and is always busy..we see each other as often as we can I trust him implicitly and sometimes all I text him is a kiss then he returns it a while later..or just a few words then other times its a normal text we spesk as often as we can sometimes though it maybe only once a week-the main thing is he trusts me there is communication and we are there for each other and love each other-love conquers all and that is wether you are apart or together bright blessings littleowl
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
1 Aug 08
hey there, yes it's very difficult but then again when we are soo busy sometimes we just don't think about it.
@bieke81 (1069)
• Belgium
31 Jul 08
If you both are happy with only calling each other three times a week, than it is OK. Like you said, it might not be ideal, but when is love really ideal. If you make it work, that's all that matters. Have a nice day
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
30 Jul 08
well it actually depends on how both of you take care of the relationship, and how you see it. long distance relationship can work. i know, because i am in one. it's not easy though. it takes trust, respect, patience and deep love for it to work. and you should not see it as something passing, but instead it should be real and the person should be somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with or you'll easily get astray. my boyfriend is a seafarer and is only here 4 or 3 months a year, but we are able to make the relationship work. we dont call each other up everday, that's impossible, calling me is very expensive for him espcially when they are in europe or in the states, but when they are in asia, he calls me up 3 times a week. but even if we dont get to talk everdya we email a lot. we do very very long emails everyday, like 5 or sometimes 7 paragraphs, and we just dont seem to run out of topics to talk about. when he is in the country we travel to different places together and enjoy each others company. get to know each other better. i can imagine my life with him already, and i know despite us not beside each other for most of the time, we still are able to get the fire going. he's being a seafarer is only temporary, when we have saved enough and have our own family, we will settle here, and wont have to leave me anymore. i know, we still have a long way to go, but at least we have plans so it should be easier. if you are positive about the relationship, it can work out too.:) cheers.
• Malaysia
30 Jul 08
Hey there, thanks for sharing your experience. Now I have more confidence that mine can work too. Cheers
@austere (2816)
• Philippines
31 Jul 08
it can work. of course it can. when you love a person truthfully,nothings is impossible...:)
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
It requires 2 completely matured and secured people to have that kind of understanding and trust. :D
@Elixiress (3893)
30 Jul 08
If you see each other 2 days and contact each other 3 days then only 2 days go without interaction. I do not see this as abnormal. Some days I do not contact my boyfriend, other days I might ring him 10 times or so, just to arrange things or tell him an odd thing or two. We rarely talk on the phone for long periods of time.
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
Yes. I always think that matured relationship is when you dont need to talk on the phone hours like teenagers do.
@Elixiress (3893)
31 Jul 08
I am a teenager (17) but I do not feel the need to talk on the phone for ages, I would rather actually be with him when talking.
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
Well, a teenager doesn't always do teenage stuff. Maturity defies age.
@suzu12345 (470)
• India
30 Jul 08
yeah love is a joy,,but i tell u wat if u will call ur girlfriend or boyfriend just 3 times a week then u would certainly kill ur lover ,,oo wait i m taking ur question wrong,,r u trying to think that ina week only 3 times a week girls must call their mates and the remaining time the remaining time he must call u??
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
actually what I really meant is having phone conversations for only 3 times.
• India
1 Aug 08
yaeh is this is the case then i personaly thinks that u have to give him more time than the 3 calls
• Malaysia
11 Aug 08
Yup... I really wish I could but it's sometimes too busy that I do not have the time to have intimate conversation with my lover.. Thanks for your opinion.
@arkaf61 (10884)
• Canada
9 Aug 08
I don't see what it should be ok. We all have busy lives and 3 times per week seems reasonable. I am sure that there are times that there will be more phone calls, and times when there will be less. As you point out, and not going to one extreme or the other, it's ok to feel secure in a relationship to the extent that you know both can understand the busy life of the other. Sure it would be much nicer to have a chance to be together more than twice a week, sure sometimes there will be a need to call more , but it sure is ok - as long as both feel fine with it. Having lived trough a long distance relationship - far enough that we weren't able to see each other for 3 years - apart from a few weeks each year on vacation time, I know that it can certainly be ok. There were times where we would call each other every day- sometimes more than once - and times were we called once a week. There were even times were more than a week went before we called - and no emails at the time to compensate:) - Still here we are almost 25 years later, and still doing fine. What's ok is what works for both, there really isn't any specific rule that says this is better or this is worse.
• Malaysia
16 Aug 08
Hey there, thanks for sharing your life experiences with me. It gives me stregth to go on. ^^
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10884)
• Canada
17 Aug 08
Glad it helped:) All I can say is that it can work. But it's not easy :)
@msedge (4012)
• United States
5 Aug 08
Communication is very important in a relationship specially in a long distance one.Well, 3 times a week is good at least you really have communication but being busy is not a reason for not calling each other specially your both in love with each other.You can send text messages if you can.I know how much you miss each other.I hope one day you will be together.
• Malaysia
15 Aug 08
Hey there, SMS is never as intimate as calling
@msedge (4012)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Better than no communication at all!
• Romania
30 Jul 08
When you love somebody...and that "somebody" is far away from you...is very hard :( .My girlfriend has gone at her grandparents ( in vacation ) and I started to miss her very much after the first day she left, it's very difficult. I try to talk with her every day,to know how she is doing, if she is fine....to show her that I miss her and I care about her...but, as someone said before, you can't talk every day ( let's say that you don't have credit on your mobilephone ) ...and this doesn't mean that you don't love that person.If a love is strong enough...it can resist to everyting and everyone.
• India
30 Jul 08
Bond of love is eternal.You may call daily or weekly once.But meeting in interval is sweeter than daily meeting.
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
Hey there, I agree with ya that sometimes we just can't have time together. Things are not always ideal.