if you have been cheated on in the pastdo you suspect your current will do it?

@jhl930 (3605)
United States
July 30, 2008 2:40pm CST
i know that when you have been cheated on its hard to forget about it and just go on with your life and then when you meet someone else that you are interested in usually the thought will cross your mind, will this person ever do that to me, and you don't ever know for sure(or at least i don't because stranger things have happened)like things that i didn't expect so i just go with the thought of expect the unexpected...and i try and live by that so nothing really shocks me...so i was just wondering if you have been cheated on before, is it in the back of your mind wondering will this person ever do it too me too since he/she did it to me? or is that something that you have thought about? thanks for taking the time to read my discussion and hopefully you will take part and answer...i hope that you all have a great day today!
6 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
31 Jul 08
To my knowledge, no ex-boyfriend have ever cheated on me. The reason maybe is that at the very start of the relationship I made it clear to them that I am a very sensitive person, I will know that he isn't happy in the relationship anymore. So I tell them, "If you aren't happy anymore, tell me, it's better to end the relationship than see you cheat on me". I also told them that I would never ever fight for a man who cheats. Meaning, what's mine is mine, what's hers is hers. If I'll have to share a guy to someone else, I'll be the one to step back. I'd rather have nothing of the guy than have just 50% of his love and affection. Well, my ex-boyfriends seemed to respect my views on relationships, I never had problems with cheating. Our relationships were ended due to other reasons though... Thanks for a great discussion... God bless.
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
30 Jul 08
I can understan those kind of feeling. The traumatic moments when you found out the truth that was painful and you wished you just never knew. It makes you scared to start over a new life. You can't be possitive of anything especially those related to your relationship. Even you start over with someone new, you always look at the past and being scared all those will happen again. I can understand it perfectly, because I've been there, and I am still there. I am stuck in a place where I can't go back but afraid to move. And the answer for your question is, YES. All the traumatic experiences in the past can make you aware and paranoid now.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
My ex husband cheated on me for 11 yrs. After we got divorced I promised myself that I would not carry that on to my next relationship. I didn't at all. I totally trusted my boyfriend until I found out he was still talking to his ex girlfriend in a way that he should not have been. Now he says that it was stupid and he would never do it again but i still don't fully trust him.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
I sometimes suspect that my husband could cheat but i dont think that he will cause i don't think that we would want to hurt me like that.. So i don't think that he would cheat on me for the simle fact that i told him that the first time he cheated on me i would divorce him so i think scared him into not cheating on me.. I told him that i wasn't going ot put up with cheating...
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
30 Jul 08
i think that its very good that you have found someone that won't cheat on you, i have the same kind of person that woudln't want to hurt me because she cares too much. thanks for replying to my discussion!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
Your welcome
• Malaysia
31 Jul 08
Actually just treat the cheat as an experiencec and be the lesson. There are too many cheaters in the world. But remember the lesson and don't repeat next time.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Jul 08
Interesting topic. Yes, I've been cheated on in the past - more than once. My current partner... well lets just say that I think he would if given the chance. I already know of a few things that have had me suspicious in the past. One day when he called in sick to work (I found out later) and he wouldn't tell me where he spent his day. My past has taught me to be suspicious, so I spy on my current guy. I read his message archives (which he doesn't know) and go thru his mail and email. I suppose some will think this is bad, but I don't plan to be played the fool again.
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
31 Jul 08
I don't have a current someone but I do know that it is harder to trust someone when you have been cheated on by someone. I was cheated on before and it was a little shocking to me since my ex told me he wanted to be with me because I had children and he thought he was too old to start a family and that is why he was with the other woman. He also told me, the first time he met her, that he thought she was VERY unattractive, so I was surprised he was with her! Kind of hurt my feelings and made me wonder what he thought of my looks!!
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
31 Jul 08
Hello, jhl930! I don't think that I have been cheated before, but even if I did, I think that every person deserves one chance. I mean, you should trust everybody, until they prove you that they're not trustworth. If this doesn't happen, then why doubt? If you live with that in your mind, you can't be really happy. You will always be fearing something, always have this thought keeping you away from happiness. Just let it go, take this thought off your mind. Worry less about things and you will see that people are trustworth if you are trustworth to them. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
• United States
30 Jul 08
Hello jhl930! most of the time, we bring baggage from past relationships with us and with that being said, once you have been cheated on, instantly you put up defense mechanisms with the new man/woman because of being hurt from the previous relationship and you don't want to be hurt again. You have men/women who don't trust their new partner because of the previous one or you will hear a woman say , "all men are dogs", or you will hear men say, "women can't be trusted", and that is all because of the fact the someone from the past hurt them. Is this fair? I don't believe so but it's life.! Take care and God Bless
@decimus785 (1421)
• Aruba
30 Jul 08
i've never been cheated on in the past because i only had one gf in my life and that's the one i'm currently with.I would have only suspect her cheating on me if she did it in the past with her previous boyfriends,but that wasn't the case. If she cheated on all her previous boyfriend why would i be an exception now? I would definitely suspect her to do it.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
30 Jul 08
When you live in the past, the past keeps happening to you. when you learn to move on from what happened to what is happening you get better results. if someone cheated on you. you should only learn very valuable lesson from that experince. like what you will and will not deal with in the next relationship. like listening to your inner voice when you know things are going wrong instead of pretending things are ok. move on from the past relationship, because if you bring it into your new relationship you will get the very some results