X's F-Buddy at Walmart..what would you do?

@raydene (9875)
United States
July 31, 2008 11:02am CST
I'm still shook up a day later. Yesterday I was at Walmart when someone stepped in font of my cart It was one of my X's F-buddies that was supposed to be my friend. She walked in front of me staring with a nasty smile at me all the way to the register and I was so dumbfounded I just stood there until a couple of the girls that work there came up to me and said they saw and was I under control. I wanted to chase her down and smack that nasty face of hers! And I wanted to cry my eyes out and scream and a million other things! I was angry but I would never want to send more hurt into our universe so I did nothing. I finally left without buying anything and sat in my car and cried until I could drive. If I did what she did I would not even be able to look in my face.. I don't understand.. How can people so openly hurt others and then rub it in. What would you have done? xoxoxoxoxoxo
16 people like this
33 responses
• United States
31 Jul 08
ummm im a guy so i dont really know what to do i would proboly ignore her or trie to get her fired
4 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
31 Jul 08
Hi Sweet She doesn't work there she was a customer! I just didn't know what to do! And it brought it all home again. Thanks for responding. xoxoxoxo
4 people like this
@jerzgirl (7712)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
31 Jul 08
Initially, I'd probably react like you did. But, there would come a point where I'd just be too pi$$ed to ignore the situation. I'd probably say something, loudly enough to be heard in the general area, like, "So....is my husband still as lousy in bed as he used to be before you took over?" (Or something along that line.) Even if that's not true, that would be a response she wouldn't expect as well as attention she probably wouldn't want. The minute you ask it, you walk away as though nothing in the world could bother you (even if internally it does) because bothering you is her game and it's YOU who is a winner, not her. People like that are bullies and most bullies back off when they learn you can't be bullied any more. As painful as the entire thing is, you can't let them know it hurts. It just feeds their need to cause pain. And, some day, I hope you realize that he's someone you never deserved.
• United States
1 Aug 08
I would have told security I seen her stuffing ink cartridges in her pants.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14716)
• United States
1 Aug 08
KCash, that's ideal! Once she gets over being hurt by these low-lives, maybe she'll take you up on that idea!
@jerzgirl (7712)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
24 Feb 09
Thank you! So, how are you doing these days?
@KellyMate (362)
31 Jul 08
Oh no Raydene :( *Big Hug* I would have run the biatch over with my cart!! How dare she walk in front of you and stare with her smug little hoe face! I cant believe her actions caused you to cry, nobody should be made to cry as a result of other people actions. It sounds to be like shes such a super biatch she just cant help herself! I mean she ruins your relationship and now upsets you! Ill come to your town, and we can hunt her down! I hope you feel better soon darling xxxxxx
3 people like this
@kingcrapper (1538)
• United States
31 Jul 08
Why do you let her control you like that? I know there are circumstance between people but the thing that I learned about life that has saved me several times is the only person that controls me and my feelings is me. Here she is with that nasty smile, she may have wanted to hurt you really bad and she did, she accomplished her mission, if that is what she wanted. And you allowed her to accomplish it, not by your own wish but because you allowed her to. May I offer the idea that you are a special person and special people don't need validation, good or bad, to know who we are. Be the person you want to be, not the person other people want you to be.
@michelled (326)
• United States
31 Jul 08
she was tying to intimante you that is for sure. where you married to your x . some woman really piss me off. if the shoe was on her foot , i am sure she would know then how you feel, but because its not she would rather rub it in your face. i hate people like that. I am not the type of person who is like that at all. I can tell that neither are you , and thats good i think you did the right thing by not sinking down to her level. I would have done the same thing. god bless.
3 people like this
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
31 Jul 08
Given the history, I would have smiled, given a nice hello, and asked with a smirk if she had been tested and how she is holding up living with the disease. What goes around comes around with those people... Looks to me like she is gloating about the hole situation and how naive you were. Hold your head high. The people at fault here are your ex and his various partners. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, they do. You should feel sorry for them as they do lead a sad little life full of shame. You should not feel sorry for yourself. You have done nothing wrong.
3 people like this
@Hatley (154561)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Jul 08
hi raydene what a mean hearted womanI guess I would have 'done what you did, but I would also feel like smacking that nasty smile right off her face too. I had a similar but not quite the same situation. In our old apartment complex our land lady developed an odd hatred towards my son, and she convinced the renter who lived below us to keep filing false complaints against my son for making too much nose with his desk chair. He padded it, he finally bought a new one and paddedd that. but still she complained and the landlady evicted us anyway. later we heard that the whole thing was a frame up to get our apartment for a friend of hers. any way she must have felt guilty as whenever she saw me in our close by grocery store she would literally run accross the place to avoid confronting me. The last time I saw her was at our local hospital where I was having some tests done, I saw her and I decided I was going to call her bluff so I quickly ran over to where she stood , and almost yelled high there how are things doing at forest hills and the woman turned white and ran out of the hospital like I had tried to kill her or something. must be really guilty conscience and I had thought she did not have one lol.
@neelygal (1022)
• Bahamas
31 Jul 08
You should have said something that would have wiped that smirk right off her face.Thats what I would have done.Something like I bet you didnt realise that you would get aids from f*cking your friends boyfriend,did you?I am sure that would have totally wiped the smirk off her face and had her worried stupid,lol.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jul 08
Just curious how did two Walmart employees know your personal business? What did you do that caused them to think you were out of control?
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
I hate what happened to you. But i admire that you keep yourself undercontrol. I know you are hurt because that was quiet unfair, If i am in your position I think I will do the same, i just pretend i don't see but then I will still feel something wasn't right. But in the future as you move on you will still be thankful you have not done any karate scene there. Don't go below her, you are not on the same level. I don't know the story behind, but that is what i think the right advice. As of me,if I were on your position , if i see her again and she do the same, she will taste her on medicine. I will keep myself ready for the next eye to eye meeting. I hate her.
@bbjwlsn (263)
• United States
1 Aug 08
Hi raydene. I'm so sorry to hear about your latest ex-related problem. They sure do have a way of coming back to haunt us, don't they? You have read some very good advice and wonderful comments on here today. I too feel that you did the right thing. It seems that she just wants to see how much lower she can sink below sleeping with your ex. As if that isn't bad enough, now she's going to torment you anytime that you have the misfortune of running across her? I would have gone to the customer service desk and asked them to page her to come to the desk. When she got there, I would have said, loud enough for everyone in hearing distance to hear, "Yeah, she's the one who screwed my ex. I hope you don't catch you-know-what! You know, he has it." No, sweetie, I wouldn't have had the nerve to say that (unless I was drunk) LOL, but that is what I would've wanted to say! You did the right thing. Keep your spirits up, and don't let them keep hurting you. Or, else, as somebody commented previously, we'll get us a posse together and come put a can of whoop-a$$ on her! Take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Aug 08
There are very cruel people in the world, you've had more than your share lately that's for sure. Just keep you're head high sweety! Never let em see you sweat. What would I have done? If I had been in a good mood to start with... probably mustered a pleasant smile back and said hi, how are ya, get the F out of my way, thank you, goodbye. If I had been in a bad mood, let's just say I'd be in jail right now and she'd be calling the nearest plastic surgeon.
1 person likes this
@bonbon664 (3480)
• Canada
31 Jul 08
Some people are just down right nasty. She is one of them. I think you did the right thing, it would have been really bad, and coming down to her level if you did decide to smack her. Don't let her get to you, she's someone you don't want as a friend, becasue you know her true colours. And there's a reason he's your X, he's scummy too. Put it behind you, be the classy woman you are, and let it go. Your success is your best revenge.
1 person likes this
@jojuana (311)
• Jamaica
31 Jul 08
i would say "Hi how are you Mary Jane? How was the sour lemon you ate this morning? i can see your face is still cringing from the effect." Raydene people will try to mess up your day but you must never let them know they do because they will feel like they are superior to you,you must make them feel small and stupid by reacting to the opposite of what they expected. all the best my dear friend.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
31 Jul 08
Oh my darlin I am so very sorry. Too bad you didn't run into the b!tch with your cart, that smug smile would have been wiped off her face and could have been on your face instead. I don't understand how people can hurt people on purpose neither. They are not worth your tears. You want me to get a mylot posey together and go kick some A$$, I am sure there are lots of us that would just love to do it too.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jul 08
Its purely coincidence + bad luck that you had to bump into someone that didnt make your day. Worse is that she had to rub it in your face. However, the reaction that the other woman was asking for was what you gave her...a display of sadness, hurt, and embarassment. Basically, an intention to make you look bad and enjoy the display. I have come across people who are similar like that. The best reaction is not to give in to what they want, not to show that they can get to you. We are all human, we all have feelings of hurt and happiness, but we also have the power and the will to hold it back...learn to strenghten yourself when you are tested in that fashion....it wont be the first and it wont be the last time.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
31 Jul 08
i'm so sorry that you have to experience such a bad experience when you are out shopping raydene... you should be enjoying yourself instead of being abused by somebody like that... just ignore the person... she is just being stupid and arrogant... you are much more higher and educated than that person... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jul 08
You did the only thing you could do. She was very mean and cold hearted. You did not let her drag you into her mentality. That is a good thing. You did not step down into her little world and be like her. You can be proud of yourself for maintaining your control. There are a lot of people that could not have done that. You had a right to be angry and cry. No one deserves to be treated the way she treated you.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
1 Aug 08
Did she push her cart in front of yours? Then someone should have told her that you were there first. I think that horrible woman wanted you to be thrown out of the store and was trying to make you start a fight. She did succeed as the other two girls asked if you were in control, assuming they did not and she made you leave Walmart without buying anything.. So the next time, ignore her, stare in another direction and if she gets hurt when the wheel of your cart bumps her foot and ruins her nylons, apologize with a "oh I am so sorry, I was looking at something over there," and then pay for your purchase.
• Kabul, Afghanistan
1 Aug 08
Well.. it won't be easy to do.. wouldn't be easy for me to do either.. but, the next time you happen to run into the charmer, gather the gumption to smile.. The more someone like that person "knows" it bothers you.. the more that person will do it.. I happen to know a few of that caliber.. and as much as I'm seething.. I usually paste one of those cartoon smiles on my face and move on... That seems to let the wind out of their sails... no rise for their pathetic egos.. I wish you well..
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
2 Aug 08
That is what I would do. I would let that person know by my actions that she does not bother me. That would drive her out of her mind and make me very happy. I can almost imagine her head turning round and round ala Linda Blair in the Exorcist.
• Canada
20 Oct 09
I am not worried about a simple look. If someone where to say something to me, or get right in my face or actually block me, then I'd defend myself (speak up, say something loud to get the attention ot the staff, speak up, whatever). Otherwise, I'd just ignore the offending party.