A Jealous Brother

@gr8life (6253)
Malaysia
July 31, 2008 9:39pm CST
I have a younger brother who is two years younger than me. He is the youngest in the family but,I am the youngest daughter. I was much pampered compare to him though my mother definitely loves him more. The first time I knew that he was jealous of me when we're just small kids. My late brother brought us to a shopping complex to buy a birthday gift for him but I ended up buying more things than he did. When we got home, he sat alone at one corner of our house while I was busy with my 'shopping stuff' He didn't even touch the gift box that was meant for him and so, I brought it to him. He looked at me and asked me this, "Why are you acting like it's your birthday? Are you the youngest here?"I was surprised but I told him of course everyone knows that he's the youngest and what did I do wrong to him. He didn't reply back. I kept thinking about the conversation and I realized that he's jealous of me. But good things happened after that, he really studied hard and always wanted to beat me in studies. My mother really cares and loves him more than others and she always ask and try to fulfill whatever he wants until now. But, he doesn't like it. He feels like my mother controls him too much. Later, when we grew up, things seemed to be alright. We got close to each other - always be there whenever one of us in need. But, without realizing it, he's still a bit jealous of me! Whenever I buy a new furniture, he will follow. I change a new car, he will change to a bigger one. I have this, he will have that. Recently he was telling my mother why she helped me when I was in need and doesn't want to help him when he is in need! My mother stayed with me for almost a year, to accompany me and my young baby while my husband was away in his country and when he asked my mother to stay with him, my mother didn't want to because of some reasons. And, he got offended with it.... We are getting older day by day, and I don't want this to prolong. I still don't get it why he is jealous of me though it doesn't really affect our relationship as brother and sister. He always think that my siblings love me more than him. We have more girls in the family and definitely I am closer to them. I am close to him too and whenever he has problem, he always come to my house and we talk about it. I don't think I am the right person for him to feel jealous too much...
3 people like this
9 responses
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
Well, sibling rivalry is present in every family... but that doesn't hinder brothers and sisters from being there for each other... and i think your brother is acting like a baby for feeling that way... despite the fact that you two are all grown up... Since the two of you are obviously close... i think you should talk things out... and make him realize that there is no reason for him to be jealous... or even make him feel that you are more jealous of him... that might help...
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 08
Hello aseretdd, He is not a bad person. Whenever I am in need, he will be there to help me. But, sometimes he acts stupidly...really. He always make my mother worries too much and whenever she can't fulfill his wish, he will start to complain... Lucky it is not too serious or else, I would have fight with him *smiles*
@msedge (4012)
• United States
2 Aug 08
It is normal in the family to have rivalry but it doesnt mean that you don't love each other.This happened for our family also but deep inside us we all love each other.Its just that we are just human someones we feel jealous when our parents pay more attention to their other chidren but it doesn't mean that they love them more.They both love their children equally.
1 person likes this
2 Aug 08
Hello gr8life, There must be a deep rooted reason why your brother is like this, maybe he overheard something or somebody said something to him when he was a child because that is why he bahaved the way he did as a child and as a adult he most probably don't remember it be that feeing of jealousy is till instilled there. Yry and talk to him about and you might come to some understanding, families are all you have so treasure it as long possible. Tamara
1 person likes this
• Sweden
1 Aug 08
That the problem when you have some sibling,when i was living with my parent i have isome sister and i am the second youngest.and my mom im her favorite daughter.and my father is his favorite daughter is my youngest sister.My mom do anything to me like for example make food for me but not with my youngest sister,sometimes she just in the living room and try to say something that she get jealous of me because mom do all things for me but for her she need to do herself.But my dad even she is his favorite daughter my dad cant do like my mom do to me..my sister jus quickly she is no problem when i told my mom about this she never noticed that my sister get jealous because my mom do the same way as she do to me but my sister cannot see that but maybe not all mom do to me that why she think like that.But now we are both married we dont have a problem for that anymore,we think that it was a childish alttitude.Gurl try to talk to him..you must be not like that because you are family.try to talk and fix it.
1 person likes this
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
You should not think that it is something wrong or unique to you and your brother. Sibling rivalry is one of the means for nature to bring out the best. In birds, the stronger offspring would push out the weaker one in order to eliminate competition for scarce food which results in the stronger having a better chance to make it in the world instead of two weak, malnourished ones. With humans, it is not as simplistic as with birds and we do have a superior brain to deal with it. Cheers!!
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
1 Aug 08
Hi gr8life, Wow! That is hard! I mean maybe the feeling since you were young was still there, haunting him that everyone loves you and that everyone favors you...That is not healthy for him, he is just like having an enemy and that is his own jealousy to you! Anyway, try to write him a letter for him on his Birthday or Christmas telling him how lucky you are to have a brother like him and that you are very proud of him, any words that will assure him that he is love by everyone...Hope it will help!
1 person likes this
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
1 Aug 08
i understand what you feel on this situation ..but i guess both of you must talk ...regarding this or i mean his notion of whatever or being jealous or whatever..since i guess its not proper to compete with a sister or brother or not even with relatives...competition is a healthy one if its being done in good motive..
@rsa101 (16193)
• Quezon City, Philippines
1 Aug 08
I think that is a typical setup especially when you belong to a large family. sibling rivalry is very common. What you and your brother is pretty much normal. I am lucky I only have one sister and we are only two in the family. When we were young, we fight quite often sometimes it came to a point of physically violent to one another. I never thought that we would ever reconcile again but after we separated ways when we began our lives as adults we became very close to each other again. And right now she just became a good sister to me and would always come to support me in times of need. Well I think as we grew matured we realized that we are brother and a sister no matter what. I hope in your case it will just resolved itself out since I find it pretty petty compared to what me and my sister went through.
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
All families have problems and not all are the same could understand. Well just try to understand him more. Just let it go, don't mind it. In time he will change. Now if he wants attention with your mom, make a way by letting your mom have time with him also. Don't make it a big issue. Just be there for him, when you do something good you feel good, and blessings will come your way. As long as your doing the best for everyone. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this