When do you know that this is it?

August 2, 2008 5:03am CST
I am in a relationship for over 4 years.I am as well in a stage that I need some kind of security in life. Things are getting more serious now and I have a lot of doubts about future with my partner. I do love him but i am worry that time will change it. Just like it was with all my previous relationships. That is the third time in my life that I thought "HE IS THE ONE". Sometimes I envy people who married their first love. It feels like the more relationships you had the more difficult it is to believe in real love. What do you think is most important in a relationship? What is the base that makes the relationship strong enough? What makes you stay with somebody at the end? It feels like I do not know anything any more.....
4 responses
@sagittar (107)
• Malta
2 Aug 08
I know that feeling, after many bad experiences in love, I noticed a change in my attidude towards love. I thought that I will never find the right one. Now I am in a 3 and a half year relationship and still sometimes though yeah this is the one and sometimes say no it will not be her. I learnt that for a good relationship there must be good communication from both parts and that it on of the crucial base of a relationship, there must be sacrifies from both part, every individual has his/her own character and everyone has to give something more to the other for the relation to servive. My girlfriend helped me much, she made many sacrifies for me although I gave her very hard time. she is not my type but at last I need her because she understands me she loves me and I am begining to sacrifies myself too, triing to change my attidues with her because she diserve it now after all the things i have made her past through. At the end I am with her because I nearly lost it, and then i realy noticed how much she means to me although we have many differences in our characters. anyone have his hse own means of how he/she will feel that the person is the right person. no one can teach you or tell you what to do, you have to believe in your feelings. if there is honesty, good communication, reciprocal love, inconditional love, and you feel that you are lost with out the person than yes that is the right person.
2 Aug 08
Many thanks for your response . You pointed out something that I have forgot about - DEVOTION. Maybe that what it is - being best friends. Because if that can't hold you together then what can. All the best
@amore07 (58)
• United States
2 Aug 08
Well, I think most important is to find some one you can trust. Trust, love, passion, and honesty are the bases to keep a relationship strong and worth staying with. I was in your shoes at a point. I always thought maybe the guy I was with in high school I would end up with. Then we broke up. Then I was engaged to another guy and figured that was it. But it wasn't. I married a different guy. How did I get to this point in my life and know to marry my current husband. Well, it is like this. My heart has always belonged to my husband. He had some maturing to do and played to many games with me so I didn't think we would ever get back together and then I met a really great guy who I eventually got engaged to. But when my parents after 27 years decided to get a divorce. It threw me for a complete loop. I took a step back and looked at my life since to me everything I knew was falling apart. I realized that my heart still belonged to my current husband and I couldn't settle for a safe or second love. I needed my first true love. I do wish you the best.
2 Aug 08
I am very happy for you that you found your true love. It gave me a hope cause I was worried that it is true that you shouldn't go into the same river twice. But I gues that sometimes two hearts have to lose oneself to truly find eachother... All the best
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
27 Nov 08
i think the key thing is to make sure you have found the right person.also i do believe these people that stay married for ever are staying even when they are not always happy .i think to know that you have to stay committed rather you are happy or not is why some people are married forever.it is not always easy i guess you just have to have that sense of commitment and stick with it.
@KellyMate (362)
2 Aug 08
You cant make yourself stay with somebody. It takes the both of you, if you both love each other so much, your relationship will all work out and you will get the security that you long for so much. The most important think in a relationship is love!