A married woman duty is to care for the family, home and husband?

@zandi458 (27893)
Malaysia
August 2, 2008 10:41pm CST
I was brought up to believe that once a woman is married, her sole responsibility is to stay home and care for her family while the husband goes out to work. Being a housewife and a homemaker is also a job which is more demanding in nature then a 8am to 5pm job outside. But in many cases, the family income would be insufficient if the husband alone were working. For some, marriage would not even be possible if the woman could not continue here employment or profession. In this turn of century more and more women are highly educated and on par with men holding high professional posts. Don't you think it is a waste of talent and intelligence if a woman vegetate at home once they are married? Married women lose contact with the outside world when they have nothing to occupy them but their own family affairs and thus may become poor companions for their husbands and growing children. A full time housewife is an obsolete tradition, do you agree?
12 people like this
46 responses
• Canada
11 Oct 09
Neither men nor women need "roles." I think each marriage should do what works for it. I know of marriages that have traditional foundations and roles, and they work. I know others where the woman goes to work and the man stays home, and they work. I know 50/50's where both work, and both split the household duties, and they work too. My husband ahd I have a 50/50, based on our strenths. Instead of him doing half the fiances and me doing half the cooking, he does all the cooking, and I do all the finances, because I am better with money, he's better with food, and our strengths compliment eachother, as do our weaknesses. We are 50/50 in that we do an equal amount of work to support the marriage nad household, and while one of us does more of one task than another, we determined this based on individual strengths, and not gender.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 09
Compromising on individuals roles to play in a marriage is important to maintain a successful marriage. Many marriages fail because both husband and wife can't come to terms with certain aspects in their marriage.
@ruby222 (4849)
4 Aug 08
Times have changed and we have to accept that an move along with the times,I was brought up to look after my home and family,but I also worked,nowadays its a whole different ball game,the women like to be more independant and make their mark on life as well as having their family to look after,im not a feminist and I have jusyt learnt that I have to respect their wishes.
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
I feel working gives us more satisfying life as it give us financial independent.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I disagree because a woman should be able to do what she wants to do and not made to go out and work. Men aren't always helpful around the house, some are but most are not and so for a woman to have to go out and work an 8 hour day and then come home and cook and clean just isn't right. The same goes if it were the other way around where the woman is working as well as the man and he were to come home to cook and clean. It wouldn't be right either.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
It is only fair that we share responsibilities be it financially or doing household chores.
1 person likes this
@rsomers6 (25)
• United States
4 Aug 08
no no no no its the easiest job ever
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
It is easy if you love to be a housewife.
1 person likes this
• China
4 Aug 08
As far as I'm concerned,if a woman isn't a wife and a mother yet,she doesn't have to think about her husband and kids.So can you tell me you would be okay if you don't care for your family as a wife and a mother?I believe you absolutely will get accused of leaving your husband and kids alone.You must admit the fact that it is a married woman's unshirkable duty to love her family in any way.Nevertheless,that doesn't mean you can't have your own reasonable right to work outside.It turns out that there are a lot of problems in doing so.How could you keep your balance between the roles of professional woman and housewife?Therefore you must see that a certain contradiction always exists.It's not easy to solve these problems depending on you.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
We cannot be holding two important posts at any one time. Every woman is automatically depended on doing the household chores but allowing her to work full time and at the same time to solely do all housework is asking too much of a poor woman, not of course if she oblige to do it on her own free will. I would be reduced to a scarecrow if I have to exert myself too much. Lets be fare to ourselves, we either be a full time housewife with a part time job or the other way round.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
I don't think that women who stay at home and take care of the family is wasting their talent and intelligence.I truly appreciate women who are full time taking care of their family because there are no schools or courses on how to take care of the family.They are strong enough to take on family pressures taking care of children and husband and making sure that everything is OK.It's really up to the women because some stay-at-home moms does not lose contact on what's happening outside. If you have a computer and internet at home or television, it's not an excuse. I've been working for many years, and if we're really rich, I would love to stay at home, have my own business at home while taking care of the family.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
You have a good future planning. Of course it is good to be a full time housewife and at the same time find a source of income.
1 person likes this
@kissie34 (2296)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
In my own point of view, I don't agree that woman must be a full time housewife when they got into marriage.. Of course, for me when woman engage their self into marriage life then they have their own choice whether to be a full time housewife or they want to help the husband in work.. But in my case, maybe I don't want to be a full time housewife because I think my life will be too boring because I will do the same thing everyday nothings new.. For now, I am still single I am not married yet.. But if ever I am of course, I will choose not to be a full time housewife.. I also want to help my future husband the expenses in our family and I think he will understand my choice..
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
The job of a full time housewife is monotonous. If given a choice it is better to have a stable career which can help you to bring extra income and definitely a big relieve to your husband.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7722)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I don't agree that it is completely obsolete. It wouldn't be for me, ever but I am sure some people gain a lot from it as do their children and families. In my opinion, its a matter of choice if the woman wants to stay home and her family survive if she does so that's fine.
@c2k2008 (92)
• Jamaica
3 Aug 08
i dont think there is anything wrong with being a full time housewife, i would do it as long as my husband makes enough money so i can do all the things i would do for myself if i am working. If he cant i'm not going to sit at home and be miserable.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
Being a full time housewife does not give us the freedom of having our own money to spend as we like. We resign ourselves to taking care of children and doing household chores and normally does not receive any compensation from husband. It is nice to be independent and being self sufficient if we can earn our own money outside.
@kenzie45230 (3563)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I think that being a mother and a wife is the most fulfilling position I could have ever had. Yes, there were times when I worked. But when my son was little, I changed careers twice - for him. The first time, it was because I knew that he would be an only child and needed to play with some kids his age. The daycare centers I loved were way too expensive. So I worked as a daycare director so that I could be with my son all day, without really being with him. There were windows where I could peek in and watch him play and interact with the teacher and other kids. When he was older, I wanted him to be able to go to private school, but I also wanted to be home when he got home from school. I worked as a sales manager for a direct sales/home party plan so I could do that. I did so well that I was promoted to District Manager, Regional Manger and Regional Director. All the while, I was able to be home when he got home from school. I earned a fantastic income - part time. And I took him and my ex on some fabulous trips that I earned - like to Hawaii, to Disney World and on cruises. Proverbs 31:10-31 is an excellent example of what a woman should be doing for her family and for the home. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was an excellent example of motherhood for us all to copy. God's plan is for parents to teach their children. The early years are so important, and the mother's role is as well. I have shown many women - the ones who WANT to stay home and think they cannot - how much money we all spend working and how they could actually stay home. In one case, the woman earned $1800 a month, but when we deducted all of her expenses (including dry cleaning, day care, after school care, gas, parking, lunch), she really only contributed $200 a month to the family income. When she quit working, her husband added some overtime and she learned to be a bit more frugal in what she bought, and she was able to stay home until her kids were in middle school. I think it's horrible that society doesn't value the role of a mother more. God does. And so do I.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
I believe every woman in the world was made to be a mother. Every mother is the bearer of God's gifts to man. We should salute to all women out there who give their undying commitment, sacrifice and love for the betterment of their families.
@soooobored (1187)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I don't think its an obsolete tradition, and I certainly don't think that women who stay at home and run the household / raise kids are vegetating! Some women prefer to work after marriage, some women prefer to stay home. Do whatever makes you happy! I don't have kids, so I don't know what I will do if/when this becomes my dilemma. But I HOPE I have the luxury of choice, that's financially not there for me yet. And I'm not sure I believe talents CAN be wasted, if you are at home with kids, you are infusing them with your talents. And anything that you have a passion for, you will find a way to pursue.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
The option is wide for women, a full time housewife or a career. Both have their pros and cons. We have many well educated ladies who opt to stay home to care for the children themselves rather then depending on the services of nannies. With an intellectual mother a child can easily be molded to become a well disciplined and intelligent child. So I see that a full time housewife and mother has an advantage.
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
3 Aug 08
Each and every women has their own attitude toward life.some prefer to stay home and look after the family and some others to increase their family income prefer to take up jobs.Its indeed waste of talent and intelligence for women to stay back home after attaining knowledge, but a peaceful and loving family can be attained by homemakers only.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 08
I agree with you that it is a waste of talent and intelligence if a woman abandoned a promising career to be a full time housewife.
• United States
8 Aug 08
I agree to an extent, the way I see it, women now have a choice, we can't tell them how to use that choice but at least they have one. If they choose to be a housewife, that's their choice, I just tell them not to come belly aching to me if they break up and she can't make it because she never learned how to.
2 people like this
@nanciem (1106)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Hi Znadi! I beg to differ, I am a full time house wife as well as a full time employee. I do both, I take care of the family and am blessed to have the opportunity of a full time job. I do not waste my talen or intelligence, I do not vegetate at home, I am home all day (most days) but I actuallu bring in more money than my husband does. I do not feel that I have lost contact with the outside world, marriage is a wonderful thing, if you find the right person. I am sorry I do not agree, with all due respect, I am both a full time housewife and a full time employee, when balanced correctly... it can work out! :) Thanks for an interestinfg discussion!
@nanciem (1106)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Oops Sorry about all the typos! LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 08
Nancie I believe you misunderstood, the question the author was raised was that a women after marriage is suppose to stay home and just do that 24/7 with no job. You do both which is commendable but I am sure hubby helps out. As for the author I believe once you are educated you carry that through all aspects of life and it never goes away, I believe it is more important for a woman to work for her own independence and needs. God forbid if he left or passed on you could be left with no education or job experiences to raise and support your children. In todays society women have shown that they are strong mentally and physically. The old days for the most have passed on which in some cases are ashame the children are forced to actually grow up quicker than neccessary and not totally enjoying that full time bond with thier mom in most cases, but we do what we need to do for survival.
1 person likes this
@nanciem (1106)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Ahhh I believe I did misunderstand! Thank you for the clarification! So many apologies I have to give Znadi! I truly did misunderstand your discussion. My apologies! Thnx Grammasnooks!
1 person likes this
@reckon21 (3488)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
Yes, that is the tradition before. It is really important for the mother to stay at home. Because the children needed the love, care and guidance of the parents. The father can not provide all that, so it's the mother who has the bigger responsibility for the moral and emotional upbringing of a child's young mine. Now, that financial problems is a big threat now days. Both parents are expected to work to make both ends meet. What happen to the children left in the home, if the mother is also not around to take good care of them. As for me, if the husbands salary is enough for the family's needs it's better that the wife will stay in the house caring for the young ones.
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 08
The rise in juvenile delinquency is partly due to working mothers' absence from home,which contributes to unconscious resentment, bewilderment, a generally negative attitude and the build up of an anti-social attitude in later years.
@cyntrow (8527)
• United States
3 Aug 08
What if the wife's salary is better? Should the husband stay home and take care of the kids.?
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
24 Nov 08
the world has change. Househusband is no longer being frown at. Why not, this is common nowadays as there are many professional women out there who are earning more than the husbands. The family role can be interchanged and so is the title.
@dclary (141)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Hi zandi! What a great topic. I have been on both sides of this coin and personally speaking, there are pro and cons attached to each. First let me say that women who stay at home being a housewife and Mom do indeed have the hardest job out there, though some men would disagree. In today's world, it is very hard to live on one income, unless of course that income is a large one...lol. Seriously, women are more educated and want a career outside the home and I think if that is what they want, then they should have it. On the other hand, if a woman is able to stay home with the children and take care of the house, and that is what she wants then it should be that way. We are in a world now where most woman do have a choice and I think every situation is different and should be dealt with accordingly. I worked outside the home, had my children in daycare, etc. and though living monetary wise was easier, the loss of time with my children growing up could have never been given back. I really hated the fact that someone else was going to possibly see my child's first step or hear my child's first words. I am lucky that I have a supportive husband who agreed that staying home with the children was the best choice. I was able to home school my children, take care of my home and still managed to work by working out of my home. No, I don't agree that women should be "made" to stay home because of tradition. Basically, I think it should be a woman's choice.
@nanciem (1106)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Wow, well spoken dclary. This is a very good discussion, there are so many different points of view!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 08
A considerable weight is being shouldered by married women who has a full time career besides having to care for a family. Many married women who are working - particularly those who have to carry out all domestic work, as well as doing their jobs, but do not get as much help from their husbands as they should, quickly show signs of strain and become worn and nervous, with the result that domestic unhappiness follows.
@dclary (141)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I can see your point and can understand how a woman could begin to be resentful, however, I think this is where a woman's independence comes into play. Yes, this is a dominated "man's world" but this is not the ice ages and women do have choices. I am very fortunate to have a husband that does help out around the house and who is very supportive of any decisions I make. I really feel sorry for the women out there who don't think they have any choices and that they have to rely on their husbands for support. I have always had the attitude that I never wanted to "walk behind" behind my husband nor do I have a desire to "walk ahead". I will only accept walking side-by-side. What is ironic is that I grew up in an abusive home with a father who was very old fashioned and thought that the woman was there to meet every demand of the husband. Needless to say, growing up the way I did only made me more determined to never depend on a man. I am with my husband because "I choose" to be and not because "I have to be".
1 person likes this
@jesse15 (153)
• India
3 Aug 08
Nope! Well I dont think so that if a women stays at home and be a full time housewife is a wastage of talents. Women is the most important part of life and if you don't have her than you are not living a whole life. Well it's good if a woman goes to job coz in this next gen era it's the typical thinking of every women or every other person. If to use the talents then do it before marriage coz after marriage things starts coming up and you(referring women) have to take care of those things. And if a woman is still argueing for a job then she have to do it after her children grow up. coz its like body structure once you have to work upon it and when your body gets fit in most of the aspects then you only have to give it a little care or you can say a little maintainence is needed. Same with the kids with proper childhood and after that when they grow up just a routine check. Whats the problem in doing that. and yeah if a woman thinks of multitasking then a little advice. Multitasking: is ruining multiple tasks at a time. We are humans so have to think like humans. now the great news and thats Internet which is the main connection all over the world. And yeah! neighbour but if chance you got someone really busy then its out of the question. Ohh.. Telephone or in modern words Cellphone a great source of conversation. But if a condition arises that not enough money for internet and cellphones then my another advice dont do kids and find a job. Thanks. Jesse.
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 08
Thank you for saying something nice about women. As you know a man is the guardian of nature but a woman is the custodian of life.
1 person likes this
@jesse15 (153)
• India
6 Aug 08
Well I love women and have my best intentions toward them. Rest depends on point of view. Thanks. Jesse.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 08
i believe a womans place is anywhere she wishes to be in the house or in the senate!
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 08
Good response, direct to the point. A woman can also be the president of a nation.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 08
my point exactly for instance indiri Ghandi , Golda myer or margaret thatcher
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
3 Aug 08
that really depends on the women . Now I was a stay at home mom but I got arounbd to friends and all so wasnt out of date on anyt thing. I did get to go to work after they grew up and gone or when they were home I would work in the motels where we lived so I was still home when they got home.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 08
I do like you. I stay and work in the rest house which I own. So I am never bored with life.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
3 Aug 08
thats cool
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15348)
• United States
3 Aug 08
If a woman marries or a man for that matter their first and foremost responsibility is to the spouse and children. A stay at home mom full time housewife does not have to vegetate as you put it. I don't believe that there are very many that do. Many of the housewives are doing what they want to. Not ever woman feels that having a job out side the home is the only way to live a full life. They are very active in schools and churches doing volunteer work and they keep in touch with what is going on in the world. and no being a full time housewife is not becoming obsolete. Have you not heard "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"?
@zandi458 (27893)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 08
Probably my thinking has gone obsolete. I am always thinking that since women are more educated now compared to 20 years ago, becoming a full time housewife after graduating is a waste of their education. They can well be absorbed in a more meaningful career that guarantees good income.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15348)
• United States
3 Aug 08
In my opinion there is nothing more meaningful than training the next generation. almost any education can be used in this capacity. education is never wasted.
1 person likes this