Why do gays and lesbians stay hidden so much?

Philippines
August 3, 2008 2:44am CST
Hey don't get me wrong, in fact honestly I am not against gays and lesbians. But this question keeps bugging me, why some of them stay hidden so much? In your views, if you are a gay/lesbian, do you think it is not proper to show it or better be discreet about it?
7 people like this
14 responses
@pukaprat2 (442)
• United States
3 Aug 08
ever been to san francisco? or california for that matter? what really baffles me is my sister. she is gay. she told me and my brother first. it was years before she told mom. i think she was afraid that she would be rejected or something. however now she still hasnt introduced her partner to our mother even though they have dated for well iver 5 years. i think that my sis does it out of respect for my mom's views of the whole "gay" thing- but i think she does it because she still isnt quiet sure which way she swings. either way i think most of themare confused people. and they are willing to go out on that limb to find the answers that they are looking for.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
4 Aug 08
That doesn't mean that she's confused or unsure. If your mom doesn't like gay people, why would your sister want to introduce her partner to her? My parents are total homophobes. I'm certain I'm a lesbian, but if they're just going to be jerks I am never going to bring a girlfriend home to have her treated badly.
24 Nov 08
The problem is with people's assumptions. People just assume I am straight. If the oppurtunity arrises I will tell them I am gay. But do you expect me to introduce my sekf as such. "Hi' I'm. Ed I'm Gay you know."
1 person likes this
@raclie (1732)
• Singapore
3 Aug 08
hmmm... maybe because they are scared to disappoint or hurt their parents? i am not a lesbian, so i have no idea on how they feel... but maybe they think that way? honsetly not sure... sorry...
@movicont (495)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Well, it's not about whether or not it's proper, it's about acceptance. Some are afraid that those around them whom they care about (like their family and close friends) might not accept their sexuality. Obviously no one wants to be shunned, so it's easier not to say anything for fear of being shunned.
1 person likes this
@awapak (1277)
• Pakistan
3 Aug 08
It is human nature that every person wants to hide sins from others due to natural shame and shyness.But We donot feel such shame from God Almighty,who keeps watching us doing these shameful sins.I think the sense of guilt/ sin should remain alive in our conscience so that we can repent and weep before God Almighty to ask for His forgiveness.No doubt homosexuality is a big sin and a whole nation of Prophet Luth(pbuh)was destroed by God Almighty.Same God Almighty is up there watching us busy in doing these criminal activities.He can again bring the same mass destruction to those countries,who have given legal protection to these sins and have violated clear divine orders openly.We know homosexuality is a clear sin in the Bible and other holy books.In Islamic Shariah both have to be killed.I think this filth should be kept hidden so that others are not effected..............
• United States
4 Aug 08
Are you saying then that everyone who is gay should be killed?
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Maybe you should start hiding your religion.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I think this filth should be kept hidden so that others are not effected Hhmm I must say that I think you are not only filth but also a PRIME example of a hardcore fkwit. You are a disgrace to so much..
@suzu12345 (470)
• India
3 Aug 08
lol i will also wait here to see that y they hide so much from general people
• India
3 Aug 08
u r beautiful barbie
• United States
2 Sep 08
As a lesbian, I can tell you it's not necessarily about it being proper but more about feeling safe and accepted. If your family is very anti-gay, that will probably make you think again about rampaging out of the closet. I do think that it is far more healthy to be honest with yourself and others about who you are, not just for you but for your community as a whole.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
5 Aug 08
Well, with the general society still not able to fully accept these relationships, I am not the least bit surprise if they prefer to lay low. Cos one will never know which hardcore "straight" fanatic will inflict harm to a known gay or lesbian person or not. With so much violence in society these days, it is better to be safe than sorry. No?
@intimate36 (1416)
• Pakistan
4 Aug 08
They do due to self respect.. They have the right to get respect from others.And they hardly get it. You have asked me, what would I do? Well, it is too easy too easy for any one , to give comments when one is not from that category...But , believe me , it is not at all easy , to reveal the truth, when you belong to same category. God has made each and every one , on this earth, and we should respect all.And I am a thankful to GOD, for not keeping me in that category.
• United States
4 Aug 08
Some homosexuals cannot come out because they are not comfortable with who they are, but since things are different these days, and homosexuality is becoming more accepted, more people are coming foward. There are still some countries and some places where people cannot come out because they are afraid of what their family and friends might say, think, or do. One of my friends came out to just about a everyone in her family and a lot of her friends, with the exception of her father because she is still afraid that he will go back to drinking if he ever finds out. Can you imagine being a lesbian, and wanting to come out to your parents, but you are afraid of how one of your parents reactions will be? You would not be able to do it either. Sometimes people do not come out because they are afraid of the reaction from other people. I know that when one of my cousins came out her parents wondered what they had done wrong? They did nothing wrong, it is just the way that she was born. It was biologically in her. Many parents of homosexual children think that it was their fault, but it is not. Your children just have genes in them, and they cannot help who they are. Again, you are who you are.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I think they are begining not to be so hidden which makes it perfectly clear why they have tried to be secretive for so long. People are very very cruel. They get treated horribly by many. Just read thru any of the threads on here on this subject and you will see how extremely vicious some people can be toward them. The very worst ones are the religious ones. It is pretty sad really. I don't understand the judging and self-righteousness but it exists
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I think it depends. I am generally out of the closet now, but for my parents and a few friends from the past, I am still in the closet. With my parents, it is because they refuse to accept who I really am. I've come out to them before and they won't believe it. So I let them keep their ideas of who they think I am and hide it from them. In a perfect world, we could all just be whatever sexuality we are and not have to worry about others thinking anything of it. But in reality, in some situations it can still be quite dangerous to be out of the closet.
• United States
4 Aug 08
Gays and Lesbians often don't want to take the abuse they often face. Families, loved ones, and society are often not accepting of alternative lifestyles. Some bigots can be downright murderous.
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
It really depends on the situation why some gays and lesbians tend to hide their true self but most of it is because they fear that people won't accept them if they knew the reality about them. However that doesn't mean that they would hide the truth forever they're just looking for the right time to say to the people around them the truth so that they would be accepted for who they really are.