Loneliness

@mayka123 (9549)
India
August 6, 2008 12:48am CST
There are people who love to be alone - but when this "being alone" seems like a punishment and you yearn a company, then the aloneness has changed into loneliness which can hurt. You should feel that the world is your family. This may be difficult but when you include others within the purview of your mind, you will always be with the feeling that you have company. It will also keep you busy and so loneliness will be pushed away. Loneliness is a state of mind that you should take up as your own duty to manage and not wait for others to help you out. It is all a matter of the mindset and you can make your willpower dictate to your mind and heart to do something when you feel lonely so that you dont slip into selfpity. Then loneliness will not be a punishment at all and you will be a happier person.
4 people like this
16 responses
@dpk262006 (50848)
• Delhi, India
6 Aug 08
Good point made. I agree with you that it is our mindset, which tells us whether we are feeling lonely or not. It depends upon one's nature and mood, what he/she actually is - is he/she a introvert or an extrovert. An introvert may start feeling lonely sooner than an extrovert. Another point which comes to my mind is - how much occupied and busy you are in your tasks. If you are busy, you do not feel lonely and if you are sitting idle, you start feeling this lonliness factor. Therefore, it is said that 'An empty mind is devil's workshop'. Philsophically saying - 'Everyone in the world is a loner or lonely'. No one can share or lessen your loneliness, unless you youself are not willing to get rid of it. A very Good Post!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
I agree that it is entirely the mindset. And in fact it was a friend who helped me change my mindset and I think I would like to give him all the credit for this. And I think I have managed to get rid of my loneliness. Thanks a lot for your response and happy posting.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (50848)
• Delhi, India
8 Aug 08
It is really nice and heartening to know that after suggestion of your partner, you could get rid of your lonliness. Keep it up and keep yourself busy in either of the tasks. Best wishes and best of luck!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
Thanks for your response. When one has friends around with positive thoughts automatically we too start thinking positive.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
6 Aug 08
i like to be alone only for a few hours but i can not think of being alone permanently.doing a job or something which interests me,keep me from feeling less lonely.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
I think all of us would like to be alone for a few hours. It is when you are not communicating with those aroung you that you start feeling lonely. Yes we should always keep ourselves busy to avoid feeling lonely.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36492)
• United States
6 Aug 08
i agree w/you 100%. i have said hapiness is a state of mind. i live alone & i could sit around & be lonely all the time if i chose to but i don't. i can't stand for pepole to sit around & have pity parties all the time. every one gets down but u just have to fight it. that is one reason mylot has been a blessing to me. if i get lonesome & want to talk to someone i can go to mylot. most of my friends still work. i would be still working to if my health wasn't so bad & i could. so you just make do w/th what u have to do with.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
Yes I too kill my loneliness here on mylot and with some other friends online. Will pray for your health. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18463)
• India
6 Aug 08
you are true. at times being alone is good. at times loneliness can seem to kill us. we should try to find solace in others.may be the situation can be better if it is done.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
Yes I try to find solace by keeping my mind occupied with other things and one of them is now mylot. This site has killed my loneliness.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
7 Aug 08
Hi Mayka very lovely post and i do agree with u thats Its Self Pity which cause Depression and other such problem if u just change ur life style and mindset, trust me u can be happy person Wish all such Person All the Best Take care
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
I have changed my mindset these past few months and I am a much happier person now. And with all you friends around who make me smile everyday I cant ask for anything better.
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
8 Aug 08
Thats much better keep it yp
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
Thanks a lot and happy posting.
@mlhuff12 (800)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Yes it is a very good post. Unfortunately it is easier said than done. I can relate so much to this. Feelings of lonliness that does lead to selfpity. I feel that I need to be with or around somebody so I can forget all about it. But once we leave for the night and go home there it is again. I feel that I am a very dark minded individual who can only see the bad and think of the pain and sadness that I had felt or may someday feel. Knowing this, I don't think anybody knows the true me. I think that if they did, perhaps they wouldn't like me as much. Come to think of it, sometimes I don't know if I know the true me. Maybe the real me is a much happier person just screaming and screaming trying to get out of my cold shell. I hope one day that person will get out.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
12 Aug 08
You seem to be the kind of person that I was a few years back. And believe me it was a very lonely period of my life. I have somehow now got out of it and am keeping myself busy so that I do not have the time to pity myself. Just try meditating and thinking positive and I bet your whole thinking will change and then you too will change.
@mlhuff12 (800)
• United States
12 Aug 08
I actually am doing better than I how I used to be. I was stuck in a not good situation that brought me really down. I am happy to say that I am no longer there. And I have gotten better. But I do realize that I have a long ways to go to be able to be truly happy. But I am working on it.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
26 Aug 08
All the best to you dear.
7 Aug 08
loneliness: it is a sort of feeling. in present generation we found that too older people forced to live alone, because their son/daughter will be in abroad/away for their earnings. here the poor older people they stay alone. if any sort of thing happens to them, i mean cold,cough or fever no immediate attention for them. and they have to take care of themselves even though they are having everything. www.succeedmyindia.com
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
People of all age groups feel lonely at some time or the other. It is a pity that the older generation is being neglected and left to be alone and lonely.
8 Aug 08
ofcourse it is never ending story! that is why in india lot of old age homes are started growing. unhealthy situation www.succeedmyindia.com
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
Just visited an old age home a couple of months back and felt really sorry for the inmates there.
@alokn99 (5718)
• India
26 Aug 08
Mayka, You are absolutely right. I've been through the phase of wanting to be alone more out punishment. In a short time this became loneliness and i found myself in a shell not wanting to come out of. It was always a mindset and i did not have the will power to come out of it. It's only recently that with the help and encouragement of some verry special friends that I have had the urge and desire to seek happiness and get out of this state of loneliness. Life itself has become so much more interesting now.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
27 Aug 08
I too have had quite a lot of support from some friends in getting out of this shell. Though sometimes I do try and sneak into the shell again and then they are again there to pull be back out again. I agree that life is more interesting after we get out of this state of loneliness. Happy posting. All the best.
@ajrox1810 (992)
• India
24 Aug 08
Hi, Sometimes loneliness is a virtue, and sometimes it's a curse. Sometimes we should be alone and give time to ourselves to know what we are destined for. Whenever I am sad, I usually be alone, cause I like to self-console myself, which makes me feel better.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
25 Aug 08
Being alone may be a virtue but loneliness cannot be. I think loneliness is a curse
@applefreak (3133)
• Singapore
8 Aug 08
well there is loneliness and there is loneliness. i can be alone but don't feel lonely at all. conversely, i can be in a crowd and yet feel like i'm the only person in the world. i am learning to enjoy my own company so that i won't feel lonely at any time. loneliness is a terrible feeling and it eats away at my happiness slowly. it doesn't come all at once, but crepts ever so steadily into my heart. it is important to learn how to block it before it can start eating away my happiness. wish me luck in accomplishing that. cheers ;p
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
All the best to you. I am sure yo will not feel lonely in a crowd and enjoy your own company when you are alone.
• United States
7 Aug 08
We can feel lonely whether we are married or single. And I think how we manage that loneliness is what will get us through things. I personally like to have some things that I can do when I am alone. If I am alone without my kids, for example, I look forward to doing certain things just for myself. Some people tend to be workaholics, too, when they are lonely. But it is good to have fun things to do like take a walk, go visit the zoo, visit neighbors, call family members, help an older person, go browse at the bookstore, watch TV or a movie. Those things can help you, help others, and/or get you involved in life so you won't feel so lonely. Another good one is EXERCISE! You get endorphines which promotes a temporary feeling of well-being and if done regularly will give you physical benefits of weight management.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
Yes one does not have to be single to feel lonely. Your ideas of getting rid of loneliness are good. And exercising will not only get rid of loneliness but will also keep us fit and fine. So that would be a double benefit.
@p_vadla (1688)
• India
7 Aug 08
Yes, that's right.Generally well matured people, writers and creative don't mind being alone.For others it need not become a punishment. They can just meet any person and start a general discussion without divulging your personal information to fight away lonliness.Others too are just persons like us.The lonely need not feel what others might think of them if they try and meet people and start chatting.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
There is a vast difference in being alone and feeling lonely. One need not have to be alone to feel lonely. And one need not feel lonely only when they are alone. This can happen even when they are in a crowd. It is how you think and look at things that matters.
@nini89 (670)
• India
7 Aug 08
Thank you for starting a new topic. loneliness is a big problem that makes one in deep depression. When we are alone our mind wander from all the unwanted things and we will be in a great tension etc. If someone is there for our company then its okay. Being alone is a punishment as you said. How long we can feel that hte would is our family, only thinking will not work out, there should be a company to share our feelings and sorrows. How also i am trying reset my will power and mind as normal life.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
8 Aug 08
Whenever we are alone we should try and keep ourselves busy and if there is no work to be done spend the time reading. That way we will never feel lonely. We cannot always have a companion in our life so then the friends we have sometimes help us get rid of loneliness.
• United States
6 Aug 08
I had broken up with my boyfriend and stayed alone and single for three years, by my own choice and reasons. I've been a victim of both. I like being alone and i'm good at it, it usually don't get to me but in the end I got sick of it! :) But it took 3 years... I was finally longing to have company, a companion, someone other than just my kids to hang around with from day to day and I had the whole self pity going on when I decided to just get out of the house and start hanging out and eventually I ended up meeting the love of my life and now i'm no longer lonely. :) yaaaay!
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
Good to know that you are no longer lonely and you had someone to be with you to get out of your loneliness. All are not that lucky and have to find ways to help themselves get out of the feeling of loneliness.
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I agree. I have those days. I love being alone occasionally but there is also times when I wished I wasn't and it was a horrible feeling. BUt I agree that you can change your mindset and the state in which you are.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
Yes just a change of mindset can change us. You have to learn to get out of that feeling or else it will destroy you.
@lyzabelle (1669)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
I used to be lonely. Feeling empty and sad. Not even my family can help me. There are times that I think I'm alone and there's no one for me. Then I realized that I can not live my life that way forever. I need to breath and give my life a new direction. Now whenever I felt lonely I just find something to laugh to. Like watching comedy films.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
7 Aug 08
That is a good way to get out of the lonely feeling. Each one of us needs to help ourselves.