Bf: Best Friend or Boyfriend? Which should you choose? Help!

Just coz your boyfriend isnt giving you time and the guy (who has nothing to do other than send flowers and chocolates) you like him? then you a big big looser. you dont deserve a bf *no offense!*

I think all relationship have problems it's just how we handle it. If I were in your shoes or situation I will give space for myself first and think a hundred times if it's worth it. AM I happy about it and can I handle it wisely. Ask also your self if your just lonely and feeling emptiness that is why you are liking the cousin of your bf. It's your ball not your bf. It's your life. Not all things in this world can make you happy even chocolates or even roses in front of you. It's how you feel it. Being contented with what you have. I think you should be alone first and think what you really want. Then I think you can decide. A relationship their should be respect,in a relationship both of you face it together and being yourself not being always to understand him he has to understand you, it's not a one way street. My second option is to compromise if he still insist well with his reasons let him think with what you really want. Have a nice day!

I think I would have to find out how the friend feels towards me. He is the one being thoughtful not the boyfriend. And even if he didn't have his cousin buying you things and pampering you, I would still have to aske myself if this is the relationship I really want. To me he doesn't sound much of a boyfriend. He has his cousin stand in on dates? and buy you 'apology' gifts? I have to ask, who pays for those flowers, candy, etc. your 'boyfriend' or his cousin? And what image is he trying to protect? One of being single? a player? what? Obviously whatever 'image' he is trying to protect.....does not include a girlfrind. You might want to re-think this whole relationship.

He is not a good boyfriend. Let him spell out of your sight.

This was what I was actually afraid of if I ever had a gf. Hehe! Hmm.... In this case, it would be rather complicated if the feeling for the bestfriend grows deeper or more than what it is supposed to be. Do you get my point? It might ruin more than one relationship if the situation gets worse (I hope it doesn't). If it gets to that than choose no one. Your boyfriend definitely has shortcomings, I think if he really loves you, he'll find time somehow. Even in simple ways. Honestly, I think to send someone to give you flowers or chocolates is lame, especially if you're angry. I mean, even if you are too busy, a few minutes or an hour would do so. Would it hurt that much to spend a little of his time for that? He is asking for forgiveness, mind you. Hmm.. What image is he trying to protect anyway? I don't get that part. On the other hand, it's still good that he tries to make up for the shortcomings. It is a tough situation but I do know you that you are a strong person and that you'll know what to do eventually. Also, I have your back. God bless!

I am married, so this is just my opinion: If my BF doesn't want to spend time with me to protect his image, then tries to bribe my forgiveness with candy and flowers, I would not put up with it. On the other hand, if BFs cousin is happy to fill in for him, treats me well, and seems to appreciate being with me, then I'd go for the cousin. We already have a fondness for one another, even though he may not think of me as a girlfriend yet, but it's a great place to start! The happiest couples are friends as well as lovers. Your BF may say he loves you, but his actions sure don't show it. Anybody can buy flowers and candy. The true gift to our loved ones is our time, and he's not giving you that gift. If he sends his cousin to fill in, then cajoles you with sweet words later, then he's just yanking your chain. Sounds like he's too sure of himself. My advice: dump him and go with the cousin.

Well the mature thing would be to sit down with the boyfriend and talk to him and ask if things can or will change and if he doesn't see that it is in the near future and wants to keep you a secret because of his image. The only reason guys even girls do this is if they have another life style. (gay) embarrased of you and or is secretly married. Things don't change and if the cousin is fallin for you then follow your heart.

Wow! So, I would ditch the boyfriend as he obviously has no respect for you and that isn't going to get any better. And, then, I would have a conversation with your best friend (Cousin) because you never know if he is feeling the same way about you. So, it is just time to woman up and do what you know you have to do. Ditch the jerk and talk to the best friend. Either way, you either continue to have a best friend or get a little something more that was unexpected. If you boyfriend wants to push you two together because he can't be bothered to be a good boyfriend, he deserves to lose you to the one whose arms he pushed you into.

I think this is very bad manners,sending a substitute is redoculous.If anyone has love in you he should take out some time and meet if not avoid for sometime,but sending gifts through others not good.

You love your boyfriend so much, right? If he really is busy you had the option to understand and wait for him. Because true love can wait. True love is understanding. True love is patience and needs sacrifice. True love never fades.

maybe i'll choose his cousin rather than him if i find i really develop a mixed feelings for him. love needs pampering and i hope my love can be always with me.

hey..........thts the do or die situation.....u like ur boy frd ,,u just cannt betray him...,,, n cousin of his trying for u ......,,,,,this seems too sarcastic ........huh,,, try wht ur heart says......!!!

I know you are going to think this is screwey, but it's the truth. I was in a situation like yours, but come to find out, they boyfriend and bestfriend were just swaqpping their signifigant others. the other girl and I met at a family picnic, and we ended up leaving both of them. this was about 20 years ago, and we found out later that the guys do that all the time. not the guy for me, if you know what i mean?

"You love your boyfriend very much but he is very busy and he has almost no time for you and wants the relationship to be on a down low in order to protect his image." Some people have a skill with manipulating people. They make a person feel loved. It is only an illusion, a falsehood, a lie. Stay away from him. It doesn't matter if someone makes you feel loved from time to time. Find someone whom you can trust, you can't trust this guy. And, sad to say, being involved with the cousin will still leave this guy in your life in one way or another. Not an enviable situation, you must stand up for yourself. Being alone isn't really all that bad.

friend is clear to his relation ship and clean but boy friend is not clean it may ask dirty thing so I suggest you to choose the friend and if not and if you like to share every thing then you may choose the boyfriend

Neither, or try to make it work with the boyfriend. You never want to be put in a position of it didn't work out between you and me so now I'm dating your cousin. If you don't at first, but you'll eventually feel strange about the whole thing. If you feel that you can't make it work between you and your boyfriend find someone else because you don't know what relationship the cousin is in and you don't want him to compromise his on affairs for yours. Do you? The bottom line, you have to decide what your worth to yourself and if your boyfriend isn't willing to give you that--move on. Someone else will do it. You know the saying "what one man won't do--another man will". Check'em or Leave'em. johnson3

I have to wonder..."wants the relationship to be on the down low in order to protect his image..." what exactly that means. Image of what? In my opinion, he doesn't act like a boyfriend. I'm not saying that he doesnt like you, but do you like being a secret? I know I don't. Been there, done that. I would be inclined to find out how the cousin feels and go from there. If neither one works out, get out. Life is too short and there are many REAL men out there that would not only treat you well, but be happy to be with you, regardless of their "image" (I still don't get that). I am quite sure that you deserve better...

i'm sorry to say this. im choosing my bf over my best friends anytime.

For me i rather choose my bestfriend because i can still have other boyfriend but a loyal friend still on my side that i can always count on....