Rejected Twice???

August 6, 2008 7:36pm CST
Hello all my friends at Mylot and Mtlotters, After I went to bed way past midnight, more like way past 4.a.m I fell asleep and had this strange dream about my exboyfriend I had more then 30 years ago. He broke up with me one day a week before Christmas to meet his new girl friend and I was really hurt and he done it over the phone. Last night was really weird, I was sitting a cocktail bar when my ex-boyfriend and his girl came to sit beside me on the bar stool and I started to move closer to him and he did not move away until I ended up sitting with on the same bar stool and then he turned around and ask what I was trying to do, I told him I loved him and wanted to be near him, then he kissed me and then said he was with someelse and I was getting in the way I could all those people in the bar ;looking at me and laughing, then I woke up with the feeling of longing for this ex=boyfriend that I have not seen for over 30 years oh heck! why? Tamarafireheart.
5 people like this
14 responses
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
8 Aug 08
just move on. if it isnt meant to be, it isnt meant to be. if u force things, u will end up being a single mother with kids and probably take care of them on ur own...what a hard life... a good relationship is mutual..both sides have to have similar feelings or it wont work out...it takes 2 to make it work...
1 person likes this
8 Aug 08
Hello fifileigh, Thank you very much for your respose, I went out with this guy many years ago over 30 years in fact. I am married now with no children and had fogotton all about him until I dreamt about him. Tamara
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
8 Aug 08
maybe the dream is trying to tell you something about him...ask around people who know him to see what really happened to him now...maybe the dream is trying to tell you it is a good thing u didnt get involved with him, and u r better off with who u r with now. i think dreams come with the other world, trying to tell you something...it is interesting to further investigate this matter to find out what the dream is trying to tell you...try to find out about him now...and tell us...
@kiran1978 (4137)
• Australia
7 Aug 08
Hello Tamara, sometimes our dreams/nightmares don't make much sense at all. Maybe something happened that day of you being rejected and your sub concious was thinking about it and then you dreamt that night of your ex rejecting you. Don't worry I don't think it means that you want your ex back. I feel physically ill after my nightmare last night, I dreamt that I was stabbed in the heart. I remember seeing myself run to the hospital and I fainted on the hospital floor. Then I saw them stich me up, not sure what happened next, I woke up then. Can't work out why I had this horrible nightmare, wish I could get these awful thoughts out of my head.
1 person likes this
7 Aug 08
Hi kiran, Thanks for response, yes I was in love with him years ago,I think that he was the first one I was in love wit and that was why I was so hurt, its true what they say first cut is the deepest, but I have got over him a long time ago and I bet he is horrible now he he. I'm quite happy with my husband although I could scream sometime of him driving me mad. That is horrible nightmare you had about getting stabbed in the heart, maybe someone is stiching you up about something and blameing for it. Whatever it is it just a dream. Love & blessings Tamara
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
28 Mar 09
Hi Kiran! I know I've come in on this discussion way after it was posted, but I stumbled upon it tonight and I do interpret dreams, so thought I might try to enlighten you as to yours. Dreams are never literal... they carry underlying meanings from your unconscious and present them in picture form in your dreams. So, if it's of any interest to you, I would like to attempt to put meaning into your "nightmare". You dreamed that you were stabbed in the heart, and your heart is bleeding. This would signify a struggle with power, maybe feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. The bleeding heart signifies despair and extreme sadness; desperation almost. Heart surgery indicates a huge change in a personal relationship, perhaps your involvement in love on the rebound. The stitches signify your responsibility to keep and hold the relationship together, maybe because you fear it is falling apart and needs to be repaired. The fact that it is your heart being repaired definitely suggests that a close relationship is the cause of this dream. Again, I will say to you that only you will know if this is anywhere near the truth of your dream’s cause. Maybe you’d recently had a fight with a significant loved one, and you felt helpless, inadequate, vulnerable or extremely sad at this. Maybe you were struggling to keep his affections over another, who was vying for them, or maybe you were just feeling overly upset at the fight or loss of power over him. It’s a tough one, this. You obviously thought you’d been “stabbed in the back” by somebody, but the heart denotes it was somebody very close, like your partner, and that it hurt like heck… broke your heart so to speak… to the point that you needed to get it mended. I’m groping in the dark a little here because I know nothing at all about you, your character, or anything, so there may be something or nothing in my translation. As I already said, only you will know. I would appreciate some feedback if you’re still around, as to whether I was anywhere near close on this. I have had a certain amount of success with others but there always has to be a first time when I’m right off the mark! lol. Brightest Blessings.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Jul 09
I read in an advice column that real relationships can never compete with imaginary ones. Perhaps your subconscious is remembering the good parts of the relationship and missing them.
1 person likes this
28 Jul 09
Hi dawnald, You may be right, maybe I am missing the romance of it all as I have been maried for all this long and there is none of that in my life, so yeah, it could be true. Thanks for comenting. Hugs. Tamara
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
24 Jul 09
oh oh tarama i don't know if i should laugh or feel sad for you. it must be really weird to dream about someone who hurt you so many years ago. the dream can mean so many things! it could be a symbol of a longing that you've had that isn't satisfied. it could also be something you saw before you sleep that triggered an image of your ex boyfriend. it could also be that you finally let the sadness and anger go, so it's like a finale before it's over.
24 Jul 09
Hi applefreak, Yeah, you may be right as he was a coward to break off with me on the phone in the fist place so yes it final alright. I woner if he ever dreamt about me hehehe. thanks for giving me some thoughts. Tamara
@phoenix79 (304)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Not everything in a dream is that cut and dry. Every piece to the dream is a clue to what the subconscious is trying to tell you. There are clues in everyday life that the subconscious picks up on. Break down your dream into many visual clues. I also recommend keeping a dream journal. There are books that will teach you what every symbol is suppose to mean. Blessed be
1 person likes this
25 Mar 09
Hi phoenix, Yes you are right, there are some dreams that I have found meanings for and I should keep a dream journal as I do keep getting strange dreams and remember them so clearly, maybe this dream I had was telling me to let go of something I've hanging to and do you know since I had that dream, I haven't deramt of him or any dreams like that at all. Thanks for your comments, it really helped me. Tamara
@bunnybon7 (37419)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Mar 09
that is so sad tamara, but in a way sweet because we long for our youth. i often dream im young again and having flirting and courting going on with someone i knew years ago. but the ones i like best are the ones with my late hubby in them and hes still alive in the dream. i try to go back to sleep and dream more of him but it dont work often
1 person likes this
25 Mar 09
Hi bunnybon7, I think what might have been but at the time when I was courting with him I was young and very much in love with him and he didn't love me enough and the dream was looking back to my youth, its just part of growing up, but you know dreaming about your late husband means that he is still around you watching over you as I dream about my late mother and I know that she comes to me now and again to wact over me. Love and hugs. Tamara xxxx
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
8 Aug 08
Oh you poor thing! Tamara, IT WAS JUST A DREAM! I don't know why we have crazy dreams but we do. I have crazy unxplained dreams about X's all the time that can't be explained and I just forget about them! They are X's for a good reason! Think of all the bad things that he did to you! It will come back to you, I'm sure. I know it feels wierd like it happened for a reason, but that's why we have stupid dreams! I really hope you can reason this one out and feel better because I know how these things can tug at your heart sometimes, believe me I've been there so I'm talking to you from experience. I wish I knew some way to tell you to forget that you even had the dream, you will in time. Just try to concentrate on something else more pleasant! If not pm me and I'll help you!
1 person likes this
8 Aug 08
Hi Opal26, Thank you so very much for yoyr kind coments I will pm you but that ex was over 30 years ago and I don't know why I had to dream about him, I sure he is horrid now he he, wel its only a dream he wasn't my prince charming after all. I wouldn't say my husband is my prince charming either, but I will p m you to sphone that dream. Thanks Tamara
1 person likes this
@ushaqwer (95)
• India
7 Aug 08
dont worry my dear tamara.he is your exboyfriend.dont think about him.if he is a good person then try to convince him that you really love him,otherwise dont.let him rome with some girls according to your dream.be strong.dont force him to love you, because a person who loves you under some pressure is not a real lover.if you really love him so much then try to change him with your affection.if he changes he will never leave you again. a good person changes into a bad person,a bad person who became good will never change into bad
1 person likes this
7 Aug 08
Hi ushaqwer, Thank you very much for your response,yes your are right he is my exboyfriend after and I will never set eyes on him again, unless by faith we bump into each other but I don't think so. I have moved on years ago and that is my part of my past in my life. Tamara
1 person likes this
@ZonieB (13)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I bet you saw someone on tv that looked just like him...or at least had some of his features/mannerisms. Maybe you should try and look him up...could be a sign. You never know, he could be thinking about you, too.
7 Aug 08
Hi ZonieB, I have not been watching anyothere tv progromme but I have got on Big Brother all day long and none of them reminds me of my ex, I have Big Brother on to keep me company for Mylotting as I don't have concertrate on any story lines. Well maybe he could be thinking of me. its a long time ago. Thanks for your response. Tamara
1 person likes this
• Australia
7 Aug 08
I would say you are stressing out over something current. Take a deep hard look at who you are dating now or maybe a spouse your having issues with. Could just be a random dream that we all have no and again. Good Luck
1 person likes this
7 Aug 08
Hi onlinetomakemoney, You may have hit the nail on the head because I'm seem to be stress out all the time about my hubby, he is a pain the a**e some time , awlays son about his food or talking about his bikes when I'm trying to Mylot. Right in the middle of responding he will come in and sit looking at me because he wants his food served up,he is lazy just because he goes to work and have to go hand and foot to him and thats what streeses me out. Still it was only a dream.Thanks for you response it was a good one. Tamara
1 person likes this
• India
7 Aug 08
hi tamara... i feel u were deeply in love with him and u are missing him a lot. and amybe u still love him and u r not sure how correct u are in doing so because he already has a girlfriend. it usually takes a long time to get out of such hesrt burns. dont think abt this dream too much,just laugh over it and forget because u cant do anything else now....
7 Aug 08
Hi mansa3986, It was a long time ago when I went out with him, we did go out for six years befor it ended. I bet he is married with children now and I was not thinking about him ate all in fact I have fogotton about and had may boyfriends after until I got married and has been for 28 years so I just think its one of those dreams and nothing else. Thanks for your coments is worth thinking about it though. Tamara
1 person likes this
@fwangaa (3058)
• China
7 Aug 08
yes,we also do a lot of dream in night,and we sometimes.i also do many strange dreams in my sleep too.and i will forget the dreams that i have done in my sleep.but i also can remind i had done a lot of dreams in night.
1 person likes this
7 Aug 08
Hello fwangaa, Thank you very much for your response, yes you are right you can have so many strange and some you cannot remember and some you do but this dream was so real. Tamara
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
7 Aug 08
Hi Tamara...to me it seems like you are wanting to do something that is missing in your life at the moment but there is something blocking you that is why you are so close to your aim in life but something is 'blocking' you doing it...it is also something that you are yearning for or just feel you need...it could also mean that you are trying to escape from something you are or having to do in your life...maybe it may be something that also needs cleansing before whatever it could be before you can carry on...hope this makes some sense to you bright blessings littleowl
1 person likes this
7 Aug 08
H littleowl, Thanks for responding, maybe you are right, littleowl but I don't have a longing for anything, I don't think I have, maybe I do need cleansing befor I can move on, I'll have to think about that thanks. Bright Blessings Tamara
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
28 Mar 09
Hello Tamara... I hope you don't mind me coming in on your discussion, especially so long after it was posted, but I stumbled across this. It stood out because I do translate dreams and feel I can give you some insight to yours. I will just state what I feel the dream meant, and be gone, but before I leave, there is another... the stab in the heart one... I would like to translate for one of your respondents. I do hope that's ok with you. Before I start, let me point out that dreams are never literal. They are signs from your unconscious of your feelings; your inner thoughts, which are brought to you in your dreams. Right... You were sitting alone in a cocktail bar at the start of your dream. The fact that you were alone, indicates feelings of rejection. You may have been feeling that no one understood you at this time. The bar environment depicts your desire to escape the stresses of your daily life and retreat into a light-hearted environment to enjoy some pleasure time, or, on the other hand, it could mean that you were seeking acceptance in some area of your daily life. You were possibly feeling excluded or held back by some circumstances which were beyond your control at the time of this dream.  Your ex-boyfriend walks in with the girl he left you for… I don’t think she plays too big a part in this, except for the fact that he left you for her, and that’s what sticks in your mind. The return of this ex from your youth, would seem to indicate that your relationship with him was a freer, less encumbered one than the one you enjoy now, with your hubby. This part of the dream takes you back to a time when the responsibilities of marriage didn’t interfere with the romance, excitement, freedom and vitality of youth that you enjoyed in your younger days. This would appear to be lacking in your present relationship, and you long to get it back… this would be indicated by your moveing closer to your ex and the yearning feeling you had on awakening. The yearning wasn’t particularly for the ex, it was for those qualities of youth that you lost when you parted with him. The number three, in being the three main characters, might be indicating something here. Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, imagination, creativity, energy and completion. It also stands for trilogy, as in the past, present and future, and this to me, would make sense. I know you have those qualities… apart from perhaps, completion. Something is not quite complete in your life, or not quite to your complete satisfaction, and I believe that you’re feeling a little neglected in your current relationship, or taken for granted might be a better way of putting it. Seeing and hearing people staring and laughing at you suggests two things; the laughter represents humiliation or helplessness and the staring, that you are hope someone would look your way more often, or it could be showing you anxiety or pride. Only you can know the true meaning of your dreams. This is a general translation, out of which you might be able to glean something which is relevant to your life, and your current relationship. Perhaps you feel you’re missing out on something… the romance, excitement and freedom that you enjoyed all those years ago, and which you are yearning to get back into your current relationship and life. You’re tired of the same old routine and you have a need to get out together with your partner and do something exciting; something exhilarating, every so often. Most of all, you need to feel free… to escape the bonds of the home, and to be like two young lovers again! You need to get that “happy” feeling back into your life, and to get that spring back in your step which you once had. It’s time to set about reviving your current relationship to the way it was when you married. Get some of the mystery and freedom back, and enjoy more quality time together, for that’s what you’re missing most, to my mind. I would be interested to know if I’ve come anywhere close with this translation as I’ve been doing it for over a year now, but am still learning, and appreciate feedback. But, if you’d rather not, then it’s your choice. Thank you for reading it at least… it’s food for thought, and I wanted to help you understand your dream. Brightest Blessings.
28 Mar 09
He Darkwing, No I don't mind you responding to this discussion and I am so please that you did, I have read the whole thing and it really made me think and you are right, we have been married for so long that it just seem to be normal, he does his things and I do mind and were not one to go out and about in the old days and we don't now, We are too set in our own ways so maybe I need to break out a bit but I am just as bad as him, maybe I just miss my youth. I will have to read and re-read what you have said for me to really understand it and you have been a big help, I thank you for that and it does make a lot of sense, yape, I need to get that happy feelings back, maybe take him to Glastonbury and chill and no bikeings, Lol! thanks Darkwing it is a big help. Bright Blessing. Tamara
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
28 Mar 09
That's it, Tamara. You naturally both need your own space doing the things you each like to do; otherwise you get fed up with being in each other's faces all the time, and find yourself in a boring rut! It's better to have a day or two a week, when you're both at home, when you can organise something to do together. Have some fun, laugh a little, be daring even! It will revive your relationship... I promise! I was only saying yesterday afternoon, in an e-mail that I missed the fun times; the days when we weren't tied to household chores and stuff... in fact, I do just up and go away for days at a time when I get in a rut... go and visit distant friends, or just take some quiet time in the West Country. But sharing quality, fun time with your partner, and getting back the days of carefree freedom are a real boost, not only to your relationship but to your lifestyle and well-being, both physically and mentally. Have a chat with him and see if he won't put by a couple of days a week just for you and him... I'm sure he'll be pleasantly surprised at your wanting to spend more time with him doing something special. Heck, he has five other days he can go out with his friends cycling and you can do what you do. Try it... or you'll never know!
@Darkwing (21588)
28 Mar 09
As an afterthought... you could take a picnic somewhere quiet in the summer and feed him his favourite chocolate cake! ha ha ha. Then, if you're on a hill somewhere, you can have a rolling race down the hill... let your hair down!