Would You Attend An Occassion if You Don't Have A Gift?

Present - Gift
@Muelitz (1592)
Canada
August 6, 2008 8:33pm CST
If you were invited to attend a birthday party or a wedding and you don't have the money to buy a present or gift, would you still attend. To make matters worse, the one who invited you is one of your very best friend. What would you do if you are in this kind of situation? Would you call your friends and make up an excuse so you will be excused not to attend? Would you still go without anything to give and think that your presence is worth much more than any present that you can buy. Just Curious, SFC
10 people like this
43 responses
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
7 Aug 08
But you do have lots of gifts so you should go....gifts like coupons that you can make on your computer for..cleaning the house....washing a car....walking a dog...or something hand made. A pretty card.....or check out some web sites that have unique ideas for gifts that can be hand made....a frame with a photo of you together....so you really are never without a gift so you certainly could attend the party and not feel bad...the gifts are right in your head...so to speak!
3 people like this
• China
7 Aug 08
Actually I will go if I really take him as a friend. Why not? Once invited we are responsible for presence at any case, which shows our respects especially in such an important occasion. As for gifts we can be open-hearted enough to tell our friends the truth and we can make up for it later.But wedding won't.So actually I've got an idea that we may take as a secret GIFT a letter with the facts and put in a gift set. What do you think?
7 Aug 08
Hi Muelitz, I am lucky because my best friend understands me and if I go to her birthday party without a gift I just tell he I could not afford it at the moment but will get her something next week when I get paid, and she will understand. Tamara
2 people like this
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I was invited to be the bestman for a childhood friend of mine... We've known each other all our lives... He moved to U.S. from Korea when we were only 12 years old... 2 years after he came to U.S., I came to U.s... Of course we kept in touch... We're both 37 now & we've known each other for over 30 years... But anyways, I told him I had prior engagement & he said he was willing to change the wedding date just to have me be a part of his wedding... Of course I thought he was just kidding around & the day after his wedding date, I called him to congratulate him on his wedding, he told me the wedding has been pushed back in-definiately & asked me what date was good for me... A week later, I was at his side as a bestman, & I did show up to his wedding empty handed... He gave me a hug & said, "Thank you for being here... You're the best present I've got here!!!" This was 12 years ago...
2 people like this
@spyjob (214)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
Well, I would still attend. Is he going to ask for my gift as passes before I can enter? I don't think so, and neither one of us who is in the right state of mind would ask for a present from their visitor. In the first place, we attend parties to make the celebrant feel they are important. Gifts are just secondary and our presence is what matters most. If you are the celebrant, would you prefer the presence of the person or his gift?
2 people like this
@toonatoons (3740)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
i would because if he/she were really my friend, he/she would understand. besides, presence is what counts, not presents ...
@mands61123 (2098)
7 Aug 08
i've been in this situation twice the fist time i made a picture frame that they could put a wedding photo in personailised just for them. The second time i took photo on the night and had a pad with me and i got people to write little note and i made a keepsake book. they absoluely loved it. Even if you can't get something i'm sure your friend would much rather you be there to share their special day do him/her an IOU in his/her card and get them something nice when you can afford it. good luck
@joliefille (3696)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
Hmm good question. In previous cases like these, I don't really like to attend if I don't have a gift with me or I hadn't decided on any gift. However, back in my hometown when I didn't have work at the time yet, my friends would insist on me attending even if I had told them I did not have anything to give them. But now that I've got work, it's kinda embarrassing to attend if I couldn't even bring something.
1 person likes this
@howard96h (11659)
• New York, New York
7 Aug 08
If someone has a very best friend then that person knows when his friends birthday is every year so I don't understand how that person could not get a gift. It doesn't have to be an expensive gift, a card with a $1.00 lottery ticket in it, buy some fruit and make a gift basket, a stuffed animal, the person can even make a music CD on a computer at home and give that as a gift, so I think the person is just trying to get out of bringing a gift.
1 person likes this
@alori61 (344)
• United States
7 Aug 08
If it was a very dear friend I would explain the financial situation to them but still express the desire to want to be there for thier special day. If they are truly a friend they will tell you not to worry about it. If it is really a friend they invited you to share thier day not for what they would get from you. Myself I hate when people buy me gifts, I just want to share the day with them.
1 person likes this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I would still go but I would tell your friend privately before the party that your not able to buy a gift. If he is your best friend then he would understand. Or she, not sure if its a male or female. But I have been invited to parties and a wedding where I couldnt bring a gift. Once I explained it to my friend they were very understanding and said as long as I was there it didnt matter whether I brought a gift ot not. A true friend will understand.
1 person likes this
@chenmeiyi (973)
• China
7 Aug 08
i think if it is a wedding ceremony,i will go even if without gift,because it is just once in most people's lifetime,so i cant miss it.i can make up for the gift after his/her marriage and make explanation to him/her,if s/he is ur best friend,i think s/he will understand u and would not complain u a lot,so u think so? if it is a birthday party,i may not go. take care.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Hi Muelitz, I will try to borrow from my Sister so that I can buy my best friend a gift! It happens to me several times already, when I was single, I prefer not to use my credit card so I will always run to my Sister when I need money especially when the payday is still out of the blue! LOL!
1 person likes this
@fwangaa (3058)
• China
7 Aug 08
you can say something for example happy birthday or give him a sing to celebrate his birthday,he also feel very happy than he get your gift.surely you can take a very cheap gift but it is your heart.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
7 Aug 08
Being the type of person who likes to always take something even when i go to visit someone and I would probably feel a little embarraassed not to be able to buy them a present i would probably ring up and make an excuse and maybe offer to take them out to dinner later on but not let them know I was financially embarrassed at the time...
@rae777 (110)
7 Aug 08
I probably not go or I would try to make a gift for them. If your creative sometimes that can be a great gift.
1 person likes this
@hanirose (307)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
yes. I'd just say "im sorry i didn't get you anything" and state a reason or not. it's more disappointing of you don't attend really cause even for me i'd rather have that person I invited come even if he doesn't bring any present. It's not really what's important you know. Presents are some sorta bonus. The thing is you friends and loved ones are there to celebrate with you on that special occasion. But i really am the thoughtful type of person so if i know a person's birthday is coming i'd get him/her something. anything.. expensive or cheap doesnt matter. For me it's always the thought that counts.
@hanirose (307)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
and i'm happy cause they all appreciate it.. i love it when i see them laugh about something i gave em. =)
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
12 Aug 08
my best friend would know my situation and she would tell me in advance she wants me there because I am her best friend, and not to worry about the gift, my friendship and presence it what she wants the most.
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
8 Aug 08
If the person who is inviting you is one of your very best friends, I would explain my situation to them. They should understand if they are such a good friend! Let them know that you would feel embarrassed to show up without a gift and let your friend decide whether you should come or not. If I were the friend, I would certainly want you to come no matter if you had a present or not! I was in that situation once when my mother's birthday was coming up. I gave her a "gift" of a card I made myself and inside was a hand-made certificate for one day of my services housecleaning, shopping, sitting around just talking, or whatever she wanted. She LOVED that "gift"!
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
8 Aug 08
If I don't have a gift I will called my friend and make up an excuse not to attend. Too embrass to attend if I have not get a present and will make up to them some other day.