An Arrogant Client?

@gr8life (6253)
Malaysia
August 7, 2008 1:49am CST
My husband supposed to meet his potential client for his business yesterday. He was introduced to him by his friend who was working for the guy before. His friend arranged the meeting for my husband. Before going there, I asked my husband why he didn't call the client first to set an appointment but he told me that his friend already done that and the client asked them to come any time after 3p.m. So my husband and his friend went to meet the client who owns a restaurant. When they reached there, the owner of the restaurant wasn't there and my husband's friend asked the manager to contact him to tell that they already arrived. The manager told them later that his boss's partner was in the city and they needed to attend some businesses and asked them to wait until he comes with the partner. They served my husband and his friend some drinks and they waited in the restaurant like almost an hour. The owner turned up later and saw them sitting in a restaurant and just showed a signal to wait. My husband's friend told my husband that the owner can't really speak English and that's why he always ask the Manager to talk on his behalf or do the translation for him. According to my husband, the owner walk passed their table many times but not even once, he said anything to them. He seemed very busy and so, my husband's friend decided to meet him personally and told him that they will come back later if he's really busy. But, the owner asked him to wait again. After two hours, the Manager came to their table and apologized to them that his boss could not meet them and asked them to come back after 7p..m. My husband and his friend went back home after that. I followed my husband when they went back there after 7p.m. I went shopping at a shopping mall nearby. When they reached there around 7.30, the owner wasn't there. My husband's friend called the ex-boss and again he apologized to them as he was stucked in a traffic jam and asked them to wait. So my husband went to look for me at the mall. I was waiting in a fast food restaurant when he came and told me that the owner asked him to wait for another 30 minutes. I asked him to call the client directly instead of asking his friend to help. He called the guy twice and couldn't get his line. It was busy. So he told his friend to call him when the owner came. Not long after, the friend called my husband and told him that the owner asked them to come tomorrow as he was very tired. His friend was angry and told the ex-boss why he did that to them as they had come twice that day and were asked to wait. The owner was irritated with my husband's friend and told the Manager to explain exactly what he's telling him. My husband was very angry with the client's attitude and he decided not to deal with him at all. I advised him to calm down and I told him if only he did it right the first time ( to set an appointment with the client though his friend told him that the client will be available after 3p.m.) and not only depend on his friend to make the arrangement, thing will not get that worst. The owner might not like his friend(his ex-worker) and both of us wouldn't really know what exactly happened at the restaurant. Because of that, my husband got angrier and he thinks that as a wife, I don't support him at all and always blame him when thing turns its ugly side. We had an argument while going home and at the end, both of us didn't talk to each other at all. I was relieved when my husband started to talk to me again when he realized that he was at fault for arguing with me and he gave me the reason - he was angry that he thinks I always try to find his fault whenever bad thing happened. He said sorry and I also seek his apologize for being stubborn. Even though the argument was not last long, I still thinking whether I was too much or was it really his mistake... What's your advice? Please let me know....
4 people like this
8 responses
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
7 Aug 08
i guess your husband was a bit upset of the outcome of the appointment...plus the thought that you blame him for it(although your not directly blaming him)..not really his fault i guess ..but sometimes client/businessman think of other important thing to do forgetting that he had agreed some meeting and was caught in between...
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Aug 08
Hello vanities, I was mad because when he told me the very first time that he wanted to meet the client, I asked him whether he already called and made an appointment. He told me that his friend arranged everything and the client told them to come any time after 3p.m. The day he went there with his friend, I reminded him again just to call the client and check whether he's available for that day but my husband refused as his friend told him no need to disturb the client (his ex-boss) as he already told him that my husband's going to meet him. If only my husband agreed to call him first, he wouldn't have to waste so much time waiting for the client. That's the reason I argued with him and I didn't blame him just because he wasted so much time and didn't be able to meet the client. He thought I blamed him for the client's improper attitude and couldn't find the right reason why I should do that.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Aug 08
ohhh ..i see..well i guess the right thing was really to call the client first for confirmation to avoid waiting for too long..
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
There is no denying it... the potential client is unprofessional... and i think your husband should not do any business with him... if he is like than on the first meeting... then there is potential trouble ahead when they are already doing business together... and i think you are right in telling your husband that he should have called or made the necessary arrangements... He shouldn't have depended on his friend... but rather trusted his own way... he made a mistake... but it is good that he apologized for being rude to you...
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 08
Hello aseretdd, I felt like I was to be blamed too. I might be a bit sarcastic to him and using an improper way of advising him while he was angry. He kept saying why I need to blame him for everything when the truth is that, I didn't blame him. I was angry as I already told him many times to set an appointment first though his friend already arranged for the meeting. I don't want him to depend on others. He took it wrongly and blamed me for not being supportive. If only he did that, thing would not be that worst. Now, I feel like if he proceeds, he just like begging for a business with this arrogant restaurant owner. I don't like people to look down on my husband as I know very well he is a very smart guy. He might made a mistake but it doesn't mean others shouldn't respect him just because of the incident. Maybe it is his ego that I still can't get rid of, and he admits it. Whenever I give him a piece of advice relating to his IT business, and when it is against his own idea, we always end up arguing. I feel tired and I don't want him to think that I don't respect him as a husband.
@darksorrow (4671)
• Bangladesh
7 Aug 08
It was too much unprofessional. I am a business student so i know this everyone should value others precious time. In business it matters a lot. That person just showed that how his professionalism was. I think it is a black mark on his career. I think that you were not at fault. Neither does your husband. Because he was mad at that time so he thought you are trying to find his fault. It is common to think in that situation. I think your husband expressed that persons anger on you. He can do that because he loves you & he can shout on you sometimes. Because he knows that you understand him. The matter solved & i suggest both of you forget about it. But one thing is clear that your husband is a good person. Otherwise he would not apologize later for his mistakes. Psst: I did not know you are a woman
2 people like this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 08
Hello darksorrow, *Laughs* Now you know that I am a woman! A married woman with a two years old son *laughs* Oh, God! I am 36 this year...well not that old but I think since you are still a student, you are much more younger than me! Yes, you are right! My husband is a good man (that's why I only dedicate my life for him and the family as they are my No.1 priority...) I was to be blamed too as I might provoked him while he was so much in anger. Maybe I should advise him in more proper way so that he would not feel offended with my words. I am glad it was over but decided not to interfere too much in his business matter anymore.
• United States
7 Aug 08
It sounds to me like the client was a poor business man with no respect for anyones scheduel but his own. As for your argument with your husband.....I don't think you did anything wrong. You and your husband sound alot like my husband and I. when he comes home and tells me how something went wrong I try to throw out some ideas of how to make it go better for next time and my husband says the same things....Either I'm bossing him around like a child or I'm blaming him. I think your husband should know better! If you didn't support what he does then you wouldn't be suggesting that he try to get the guy on his own and without his friend! It must be a husband thing. Good luck with it! Let me know if you ever find out how to break your husband of that negative way of thinking!
2 people like this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 08
Hello little_momma, One thing I realize about my husband is his ego. Maybe he thinks that as a wife, I can't be against him. So whatever opinions or ideas that I suggest (and if it is against his idea) , seems to tell him that I am not supportive. I am trying to help him to understand certain thing better, maybe as how I see it as a third party. I should be blamed too for letting my anger at him while he, himself was so much in anger. Because of what happened, I feel like he is begging for a business opportunity from that restaurant owner if he proceeds any further. Thing should be better if only he did what I advised him to do at the first place. But after the argument, I really don't know whether I was right or wrong. It seems that I made him angrier with my 'improper' way of advising him. I am glad it's over.
@Elixiress (3893)
7 Aug 08
I agree that your husband should have made the arrangements directly himself as then they both know where they stand. I know if someone did not want to contact me and was contacting me through a friend then I would not think, so highly of them, so maybe the man your husband was meeting felt the same. If they are still going to meet up then the man should come to your husbands place of work this time.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Aug 08
Hello Elixiress, The potential client is the ex-boss of my husband's friend. That's the reason why his friend made an arrangement with the client. I did ask my husband to double check by calling the client himself and see whether he's free after 3p.m. that day and my husband told me there's no reason to do so as his friend already confirmed with the client many times. I was angry and maybe a bit rude to my husband when he told me that the client asked them to go back as he's tired as I told him many times before to call directly and made an appointment. Because of that, he felt that I was not supportive enough and why I need to be angry as it wasn't his fault. Now, I told my husband to think twice if he really wants to proceed. I don't want him to look like he is going to beg for the business opportunities. My husband tried to call the client many times yesterday to explain on what had happened and willing to make a new appointment but let me tell you this...I bet this client is really unprofessional - he didn't even picked up his cell phone. He doesn't know my husband's number as my husband never called him directly.
@Elixiress (3893)
8 Aug 08
Couldn't your husband's friend not just give your husband the number of the potential client? Maybe the friend ring him first ask him if he wants to do business with your husband and when he said yes then they organise things between them. I find everything just gets more messy and confusing whenever there is a third party involved. But as the situation has passed then it is all "what ifs"
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
14 Aug 08
Hello Elixiress, That's the reason of our argumentation. I asked him to do it by himself but he kept saying about his friend handling every thing. I am like you - I don't feel good whenever there is a third party involved. Things might be messed up. Whatever it is, my husband decided not to proceed. He knows he will lose a potential client but I think with this kind of attitude, the restaurant owner seems to be unprofessional and it will lead to more complicated problem if they continue... Thanks for your advice!
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Hi gr8life, [i]YOu presented the good point and best idea indeed...and I know your husband was able to see and realize it..It was just, that time he was very upset with the situation and instead of accepting your point of view wholeheartedly, he was doing the other way around! ANyway, I want to spank that client, very unprofessional and no word of honor....I do know if his business if doing good but he don't have the attitude of a successful businessman! [/i], this is for the client! LOL!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Aug 08
Hello checapricorn, Maybe you're right. I was a bit angry as I told him many times to call the client directly and made an appointment instead of just agreeing with his friend. But, he didn't want to listen because I think as a wife, he thinks I am not a right person to advise him about his business matter. I just want him to be more professional and gain respect. He took it differently. However, I am glad it's over. I don't like to argue with my husband...
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Aug 08
[i]Yea, it's a headache for me also when we have some argument..I hate it! Anyway, I know your husband will be trying to consult your opinion from this point! I know he recognize your potential advises![/i]
1 person likes this
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Even if your husband is upset that you told him what he did was wrong, you were absolutely right. When your husband's friend told him about the potential client, your husband should have asked the guy for that person's phone number and made all the arrangements himself. That's not only the best way to get a meeting, but the most professional way. So what advice would I give him? Go back directly to the owner again, apologize for the miscommunications and set up another appointment. Maybe if he handles this directly things will run much more smoothly.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
14 Aug 08
Hello wachit14, That was the reason of our argumentation. He has the number and he could call him directly. In fact, I told him many times and even on the day itself, to call and check with the client first. He kept telling me about his friend, making all the arrangement for him. And when thing like this really happened, definitely I was angry. If only he listens to me....He only tried to get hold of the client after the first incident. I know I am not as good as him in this business but just because I am his wife, it doesn't mean all my opinions he has to ignore... The client seems unprofessional to me too, as he didn't even pick up his cell phone, not even once when my husband tried to make another appointment after the whole incidents!
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
7 Aug 08
I think that you did no wrong in suggesting that your husband call the client first to an arrange an meeting before going out and wasting a whole day awaiting. I also think that your husband was right in not wanting to do deal with this client as he had continuously made them wait, and was not very business like or polite at all. I am glad that you are both back on speaking terms, and I hope that you do not worry too much on this as your husband was probably tired and ill from waiting so very long! I hope you have a very wonderful and lovely day, good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Aug 08
Hello SomeCowgirl, Thanks for your advice. I am glad it's over. I was wrong too for making him angrier. Maybe you are right. He was probably tired of waiting and when he came to me to complain, I as his wife, put some more fire to make him angrier.