Do you pick your battles?

@SusanLee (1920)
United States
August 7, 2008 1:28pm CST
Or do you fight, fuss, argue and scrap about every little thing? I use to want to fuss about EVERYTHING, life sure has gotten easier and more peaceful over the years since I've learned to not sweat the little things. These days I pick my battles. I don't have to pick them very often, but when I do I get much better results. (with the exception of these people around here that wont pick up after themselves lol) How about you?
3 people like this
9 responses
7 Aug 08
I definitely pick my battles. Since I wasn't really allowed to argue when I was younger, it's just kind of my nature to let go of the little things. However, it has made me great at arguing for the things that are important to me.
2 people like this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 Aug 08
You seem to have found a perfect balance. Good for you lol
• United States
7 Aug 08
Susan, you are so right! There's so much going on in everyone's life that, if we don't choose our battles, we're headed for early graves! I seldom find anything worth all that negative energy. Life's to short to spend if upset and frustrated. The people in our lives are who they are, so it's futile to expect anything different. Whe we stop trying to make people bend to our standards, life's a whole lot better. All that diversity can be fascinating if we just put aside the bothersome things!
2 people like this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
9 Aug 08
I think you pretty well covered me as a real young woman, 'trying to make people (husband, children) bend to my standards.'
@ruby222 (4848)
7 Aug 08
Total pacifist here!im a yellow belly,and I just hate any kind of upsets,life is so short that there is simply no need for it.There is always a way around it,sit and have a cuppa and a chat,go out for a drink and sort it out,but dont fall out and then never fall back in again!Pick a fight lol I dont want a fight at all!!never mind pick my own
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
9 Aug 08
I like the way you put that, 'I don't want to fight at all!!Never mind picking my own' That was cute. Yeah it's better to chill and move on isn't it.
• India
8 Aug 08
i dont like fighting with ppl ...but i dont either like ppl being double faced...so i end up fighting
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 Aug 08
Sometimes things do come up that have to be dealt with. I have an ex-sister-in-law that was the worse when it came to hearing something that wasn't said. You could say one thing and she heard something else. One day I found out that she told my husband's cousin that I said she (the cousin) deserved to wreck her truck; that she didn't need it anyway. The cousin had been driving in a bad fog, ran through an intersection, hit a utility pole and snapped it in two. She could have been killed. I don't know what this sister-in-law was thinking of when she said this. When I found out I went straight to the cousin and her parents and told them I did not, nor would I ever say a thing like that. For crying out loud, I have grown children, you can't talk that way and not expect it to come back on you. I didn't even bother with the sister-in-law, as the years went by around here any gossip, controversy or anything else negative could be tracked right back to her door. Some people are just like that, always meddling and making something out of nothing.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
8 Aug 08
I have learnt not to sweat the small stuff too and have since had a much happier life (so has my hubby LOL). I don't let things get to me and if i have a issue about something, I talk it out with hubby or whomever and then let it be. I don't go on and on like I use to LOL
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 Aug 08
That's the key isn't it, deciding what needs to be dealt with and what doesn't. Makes life a whole lot more peaceful. For me I've noticed if something does ruffle my feathers, if I wait before I react, give myself time not to react emotionally, by the time I am ready to say something, I've either forgot what the issue was or decide it's no big deal anyway.
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
8 Aug 08
I am to tired to bother unless it is really important! That is why NOBODY picks up after themselves around here.
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 Aug 08
You know, that might be the key to the whole thing, just older and too darn tired to bother with it. I told Wade one time that being married to him have been the most uneventful years in my whole life. All because there is no arguing and fussing. I think it's because he's not a confrontational person, and I'm just too old and tired.
@sunshine4 (8708)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Life is way to short to get upset about the little things. I pick my battles. For example, I have friends who fight with their kids every morning about what they are wearing to school. My daughter does not have the same sense of style I have~ she is a huge tomboy. I cringe every morning she walks out the door, but there are more important things to argue about.
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 Aug 08
LOL, my son has my sense of style. Which drive my husband up the wall. Many times I hear my husband say 'son, you are your mother's child'. I want to be comfortable around the house because I'm always doing something, puttering in the yard, cleaning something in the house. Who can be dressed up for that? I do dress up nice when we go out in public. If there is really going to be a fight around here, it would be over my sons schooling, homework and stuff. He is an honor student and we plan to keep it that way. There are some things that are nonnegotiable and that is one of them.
• United States
7 Aug 08
Susan, I have come to the conclusion that even what you listed as an exception is something that I have to choose to ignore most days. Even if I fuss about it, it is not going to change, so I choose to pick another battle to fight. Life is too short to fuss about every little thing. I finally figured that out at the ripe old age of 40 something. And yes, my life has become much easier since I gave in to the fact that I cannot and probably will not change everything I want changed.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
12 Aug 08
You're right about the thing I listed, it's an on going problem around here. For my sake though, I will have my say because I do get tired of feeling like a servant and maid. If they chose to string and strow, then they will listen to the consequences. I mean I have to have something lol. And I sure don't want them to think it's okay. For other things, if something happens with my husband and he makes me really mad or frustrated. I wait, I don't say anything right then, I give myself a cooling down time to see how I feel about it later. Then and only then will I say something to him. In the past I was always a person to speak out of my emotions. I can honestly say I don't do that anymore and it has made life a lot easier on me.
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Aug 08
Ithink a person needs to pick their battles or they will not have the energy to win the overall war.
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
9 Aug 08
LOL, I never thought about it like that, but it's true, we are at war with our loved ones arent we? Husbands and children, stringing and strowing their stuff everywhere.