What is the longest time you have gone without...

@Humbug25 (12552)
August 9, 2008 5:49pm CST
... speaking to someone? Earlier this year I re-established a relationship with my father after 15 years, well he says 17 so we have agreed to disagree on that one just in case we stop speaking again!! It was strange how it all began really. About 16 years ago I went off to America to work as an au pair and I had fallen out with him just before due to his stupid antics which usually resulted in someone getting hurt. Then our paths never really crossed until my brother got married at the end of last year which re-united us and we have agreed not to look back into the past and concentrate on our future. How long have you gone without speaking to someone you love? What caused the rift that seperated you?
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9 responses
• Canada
10 Aug 08
i ahve gone without speaking to my uncle for such a long time. much be like 1 and a half year. its not that he lives in another country or anything, its just that we don't wana meet together, i don't know why, though. i guess he wants to stay away from me and my parents, or maybe other problems.......
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@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hello theprince162 I think you should find out what the problem is, you have the right to know if he is part of your family. If it is a problem between your parents and him then that is their problem and shouldn't involve you unless he has done something seriously wrong! Thank you for responding
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
10 Aug 08
I think this is little strange that you did not spoke to your father for so long. I think I can not chat properly if I am angry at a strech for a few days and not more than that. I think your parents are so sacred for you and you should start talking to them frequently.
@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hi there dropofrain I was living in different countries and when I came home to England to visit my family my path with my father never crossed. I now see him quite regularly and speak on the phone. My parents are divorced and I have never lost contact with my mum, she is great and would never do anything to hurt anyone intentionally. Thank you for responding
@valeria1 (2724)
• United States
10 Aug 08
I think was 6 months with my brother. I agree to no look back to the past and keep going without any bad feeling towards each other. With my brother was a fight bad one, but today we talk normally.
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@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hi there valeria1 I too fell out with my brother recently and he said some very hurtful things and after that I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone for about a couple of weeks because I was so upset. I am now talking to him again and do realise that he may have said some things that were true but it was how he said it and he did oppologise to me too. It is good to make up, it is horrible when there are bad feelings between you and someone you love! Thank you, as always, for responding!
@rockkk (71)
10 Aug 08
well mine is very much harder it had been nearly a decade since i forged a relation with my frds. he doesn care for me too so i don care...
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@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hi rockkk I am sure you do care, you are just hurting. I am sure he does care too but is also hurting. As I don't know the story behind why you no longer speak it is hard to comment as to where the fault lies. Thanks for responing
• United States
10 Aug 08
I've never really spoken to my father so that's been about 20 years I guess. He came around once to see me but was drunk so he was told never to come back. Therefore I've never spoken to him since then if you want to consider it that since I was only a few months old. I had a friend that caused a lot of trouble in my life that I pretty much stopped talking to in about 8th grade. Five or so years later, she found me and we started talking again. We speak occasionally as it's kind of hard for me to really get over the whole thing that caused us to stop talking in the first place. They have apologized since it happened though and have done so many times since then.
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@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hi there highflyingxangel Sometimes we are better off without certain people in our lives but when it is sometimes a parent our expectations of them are high as they should be and it hurts more. Sometimes we can forgive people for doing what they do to us but we can't always forget and that will always be at the back of our minds. At least your friend has oppologised, it make you forget but it helps you to forgive! Thank you for sharing your story.
@blueman (16516)
• India
9 Aug 08
well, i think with my girl friend for a month.
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@Humbug25 (12552)
9 Aug 08
Hi there blueman Wow a month, that sure was a long time!! I dread to think what it was over! Thanks for responding!
@CrazCo (409)
• Canada
9 Aug 08
Well, I was best friends with someone in my Kindergarten year and then I went to a new school and we sort of drifted apart. I hadn't seen him in years until when I hit grade eight I had made a hockey team. To my pleasant surprise my best friend from kindergarten was on the same team as me and we started talking again.
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@Humbug25 (12552)
9 Aug 08
Hi CrazCo Awww that's a nice story and I am glad that you didn't seem to part on bad terms and you will keep in touch from now on!! Good friendships are hard to come by! Thank you for responding!
• Philippines
10 Aug 08
My father left us during my toddler years making his face unknown for quite a few years. I first only knew him in pictures, then thank Heavens, I finally met my Dad when I was 12 years old. I never had an open communication with him from the moment he left us until I was 12.
@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hello jaypeemanuel So do still have a good relationship with your father now? I am glad you are happy to have been re-united with him when you were 12. Thank you for your response
• Philippines
10 Aug 08
We're in good terms, finally. It was my Mom who was to blame for not letting me go near my Dad, but she is also the reason that I was able to find my Dad,
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@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
maybe she thought it was for the best at the time and then helped you get back together with your father when you were older and able to understand and deal with the situation. Us mum's can be very protective over our children you know!!
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
10 Aug 08
I have never gone longer than 2 days to speak to a family member that I had misunderstanding with. Time flies so swiftly and what if I'd be gone tomorrow and I was not able to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you" to my loved ones? I would never like that to happen. So as much as possible, I try to bridge the gap as soon as I can. The earlier the better. Holding a grudge for so long would not only make othe people unhappy but would make you unhappy too. So eschew those grudges and have peace in your heart. All the best.
@Humbug25 (12552)
10 Aug 08
Hi Jenaisle You are right and I have learnt this lesson myself though it does take me time to cool down and I am very sensitive so I get upset very easily and it takes me a while to stop feeling the hurt but when I do now usually all is forgiven. Thanks for your response