Question About My Wedding Gown

@CatsandDogs (13964)
United States
August 9, 2008 7:08pm CST
On the 17th of this month is our 17th anniversary. Yippeeee!! Now we weren't able to have any kids. Not by choice but its the way the ball goes sometimes however, when we got married, I had a beautiful wedding gown that I got really cheap cheap CHEAP and afterwards, I had it cleaned and sealed in a special box in case I ever had a daughter I could hand it down to her but that wasn't to be. So my question is, if you were in my shoes, what would you do with your wedding gown? I still have it in the sealed box but I often wonder what am I going to do with it now? It seems to be a waste of space to keep it but yet it does have sentimental value to me and my husband. I'm going around in circles so what do you think?
6 people like this
23 responses
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
10 Aug 08
My mother's friend also wasn't blessed with children. They 'adopted' the two children of a neighboring family. Those two will in fact one day inherit the couple's house. My husband's ex-boss was in a similar situation. They 'adopted' their nephew. So, is there a special child in your life like a niece, neighbor girl, somebody? That would be the person I would offer the dress to. Otherwise, either keep it for sentimental value or sell it and maybe you can get enough money for a second mini-honeymoon;) Also, keep in mind that a daughter may not have fit into or even liked the dress. I kept mine, but know my oldest will be much taller than me. My middle one may fit into it as an adult if her current growth rate is any indication, but who knows if she'll like it. I keep mine for sentimental values although I myself will probably not fit into it again either, lol. Darn pounds want 'melt' off;)
4 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
10 Aug 08
Me in my wedding gown 17 years ago - It's a right pretty gown and bought it on the spot at the bridal store. It looks much more expensive that it is. I paid somewhere around $325. that's it!! But I sure do love it!
I think that's what I'm going to do for now. My only niece got married last year and my nephew has three boys so there's no one for me to hand it down to but I guess I'll never know unless I hold on to it for there might be someone down the road who might want to wear it. I've added a picture of it that I had just scanned.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
10 Aug 08
well i guess handing it down to my daughter will do the trick..that is if im in you shoes...and of course depending if my daughter likes it also and fit her well and everyhting...or maybe since i had some sentimental value on it..then i had to keep it somewhere safe...or the reverse..give it or sell it..
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
10 Aug 08
Me in my wedding gown 17 years ago, from top up - I love my gown and don't know what to do with it yet.
It's just too pretty to give away or even sell it but then again to me, it's a waste sitting in the box but it does have sentimental value to me. I just might keep it for I don't know what's down the road.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (101841)
• United States
10 Aug 08
Are there some keepsake kinds of items you could have made from it, such as a cover for a photo album, maybe the album of your wedding pictures? Is it trimmed in lace? Could a section be cut, or more than one, and framed, maybe in a shadow box? Do you have any nieces you are close to that you could pass it to? Those are some things that come to my mind. I also think of the charitable organizations that give beautiful clothes to poor, or abused women, to help their self esteem. I cannot remember any of the names, but that might be wonderful, say to give it to someone who has survived a serious illness and is able to get married. If that were the case, I would take beautiful pictures of it to keep, and also of the recipient. Remember, getting rid of the dress does not get rid of the memories, or the meaning it had for you. Only gives you space, and gives the dress another life.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
10 Aug 08
You are right about that, I'll definetly have my memories but the dress is so pretty that I don't want to cut it up nor do I want to give it to just anybody because of it's sentimental value but yet at the same time, it's a waste sitting in a sealed box. Oh maybe a few more years of thinking, I'll eventually come up with something. I've put up some pictures in a couple of responses above yours if you want to see it.
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
10 Aug 08
That's a difficult one to answer. If it were me, I would probably try to find someone who could not afford a nice wedding gown. How I would go about doing that is another question. Perhaps I would let the pastors in the area know that I had it. Or perhaps I might contact the local newspaper and see if they might want to write about it and help you find a deserving woman.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
10 Aug 08
Those are really good suggestions however, it's too pretty to give to just anybody. Not only that, it has sentimental value to it. I'd rather let someone I knew borrow it so I could get it back but then it's like a waste to take it back for I have no one to hand it down to. Oh I don't know what I'm going to do yet. lol BTW, I've put some pictures of it above yours.
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
22 Aug 08
I had various ball gowns including my beautiful debut gown and my Mum got rid of them. I don't know what happened to them. I was thrown out of home when I was 16 and when I went back years later, all my stuff was gone. I don't know what I would have done with them. Possibly kept them out of interest. I gave away my wedding dress...it was an off white wool mini dress. I gave away a black crepe halter neck I wish I'd kept. I have a few bits and pieces that I hope my grandkids will be interested in. My daughters are not into the sentimental things I've collected.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Aug 08
I'm sorry MsTickle!! I left home at the age of 16 and have been on my own ever since. I left because of my ex adopted sister. I would've killed the little "B" if I had stayed any longer. She made my life a living hell! She's gone now and hasn't spoken to any of us for quite a few years now and doesn't want to. We all don't know what we've done to her but it's her choice so we say "Be Gone B!" How old are your daughters? Maybe their still a bit young to understand the meaning of these sentimental things you have? Gosh, my mom has a handkerchief that is well over a hundred years old that she's going to pass down to me and I'll be so glad to have but right now it's in the hands of my nephews soon to be exwife for she wore it on their wedding day "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" and she never returned it. I know she better give it back unless she wants a confrontation with me!!
2 people like this
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
31 Aug 08
My daughters are both in their late 30's ...just not sentimental. Hope you get your hanky back but I reckon she's lost it.,
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Happy Anniversary! I would check and see if there is anyone in your family getting married that needs a dress. If not, there might be some organization around that helps poor girls with a dress to get married in. We have one in Austin that helps poor girls have nice dresses to go to the prom in called - I think - Fairy Godmother. I think that there might be something if not in your town, in a city nearby. Finally, if you need some cash, there might a vintage type place that will sell it for you.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Thanks for the idea ElicBxn! Some anniversary this is going to be. Mom is sick again, her blood pressure is sky high but she thinks her machine isn't working right because she dropped it on the floor but she wouldn't call the ambulance. I just found out from my aunt that this has been going on since last night. I didn't know about it. She's crying on the phone about not wanting to go to the hospital out of fear they'll admit her and she's so tired of being sick and I told her that I want her alive to please go but she wouldn't so I had hubby go outside and use the cell phone to call for an ambulance, it's there at mom's now and she doesn't know who called and we're not telling her. Just found out that they're loading her up on the squad and taking her to the hospital. I swear, I think I'm about to lose both of my parents this year and close together. I thought I was back with mylot for sparatic moments but maybe not. I've got to let the others know too.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
16 Aug 08
I'm sorry to hear about your mom - again. I know its terrible to lose a parent, or especially both parents, but there does come a point where the pain of watching them living the way they are is worse than the idea of their dying.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
10 Aug 08
Do you have a favourite Niece or a very good Friend who has a Daughter that maybe you could pass it on to? The only thing I suggest is do keep hold of it as maybe one Day someone might need it you just never know I know it is taking up space but as you say it means a lot to you
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Me and my wedding gown - This is 17 years ago so I've aged some! LOL
Unfortunetly I have only one niece and she got married last year. She would've been too tall for my dress anyway but would've been more than happy to lend it to her had she wanted to wear it. My God daughter might want to wear it when she gets older however, she's growing like a weed and I'm afraid she'll be too tall for it as well unless her crafty mother can do something to make it longer if it were to be too short if she wants to borrow it. It does mean a lot to me for I never expected to get a gown so pretty because I thought it would be too costly but I found it in the first catalog I found and thought, oh gosh I bet it's expensive but when I found out it cost around $325. you could've picked my jaw up off the floor for that was dirt cheap!! Here's a picture of it and there's a close up one too on the first page, I think under #3.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
11 Aug 08
Cats it is beautiful I have left you a Comment
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@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
10 Aug 08
If it is too hard to part with, keep it. Or you could sell it on Ebay for a reasonable price and give someone else as much joy as you got in wearing it. Just remember, you will always have pictures.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
That is a good point Rozie but I can't do that for it has a great deal of sentimental value to it. Besides, hubby might kill me if I were to sell it. He's worse than I am!! lol I'd much rather give it to someone close to me but there aren't any girls except for my niece and she got married last year.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
11 Aug 08
If you feel that strongly about it, I think that you should keep it. You never know what could happen later on down the line. I know that there have been many times that I have gotten rid of something and then later wished that I had kept it. There may come a time when you will want to give/lend it to someone and your heart will know. You will feel a irresistable tugging and you will have no problem giving in to that feeling when it comes.
1 person likes this
@TheCatLady (4695)
• Israel
13 Aug 08
Here in Israel we have several organizations that loan wedding gown to poor brides who can't afford to rent or buy one. The bride just has to dry clean it before returning it for the next young woman to use. You might want to see if there is such a service in your area. They are usually run by religious and charitable organizations. Check the yellow pages or call your favorite charities. You could make many young women very happy to be married in a beautiful gown. Alternatively you could take it to a consignment shop and it would become someone else's heirloom gown. Purrs and wags, The Cat Lady
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
15 Aug 08
That is a neat idea! I don't know if there's such a thing here and don't know how to find out but I will once things slow down a bit. Been so busy with my sick mom (stroke) and now I'm down with a sinus infection so eventually I'll check into it. Thanks for the suggestions!! Woof woof!! and Meow meow!! lol
@Favour3 (12)
12 Aug 08
it seems you are so much attached to your weeding dress that you cant give it as a gift so keep it and let it be in the box. the best thing you can do is to give this valuable dress as a wonderful present for would be young couples and they will forever be greatful. but it seems you cant part with it
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I wouldn't mind lending it to someone who'd take care of it but not to just anybody because, yeah, it does mean a lot to me. I knowit's crazy to keep it especially in a box but it is mine and I paid for it so why should I be so careless in who gets it if anybody?
@cwilson26 (2736)
• United States
10 Aug 08
I would say that if the dress means that much to you and your husband then keep it but if you have a niece or cousin, maybe you can hand it down to them. Or maybe if you plan to adopt you could keep the dress and hand it down to your adopted daughter. If not, then maybe you could donate it to Good will or the Salvation army. :)
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Well my only niece got married last year, my cousins and I haven't talked in years due to having our own lives... sad I know but it's life I guess. My God daughter might be able to wear it but then again, she's growing like a weed so she may be too tall. We're not planning on adopting so that idea is out. lol Who knows, something or someone might come up and want to borrow it. Thanks for your suggestions!!
@shell1986 (405)
• United States
10 Aug 08
I cannot say what I would do in your situation because I would be devastated if I could not have children. However, if you have a niece, cousin or sister with whom you are very close you could give it to them. They would better be able to understand the sentimentality of the dress better than a stranger would. Also, if you are feeling especially generous you could donate it to the local goodwill or salvation army store. Good luck in whatever you decide and I'm sure everything will work out for the best.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Did you respond twice? lol Did you realize that? Don't worry, we've all done it a time or two when we were new. No biggy!! Happy mylotting!! and Welcome!!
@shell1986 (405)
• United States
10 Aug 08
I'm sorry to hear that you were not able to have children. However, if I were you I would pass the wedding gown down to either a niece, cousin, or some other close family member. This way they are able to understand the great sentimental value that is has to you and your husband. Or if you are feeling extremely giving, you could donate it to the local salvation army or goodwill store. Most people would not want to do that with their wedding gown though. Good luck in whatever you do and I'm sure that everything will work out for the best!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Thanks but it's ok, God has other plans for us but we're getting older and not knowing what He wants is making me wonder!! LOL Most of my family members are males, my only niece got married last year so that's out but I do have a God daughter who is very tall and will be 14 next month, who'll might want to wear it so I'm going to keep it a while longer before decideing what exactly to do with it. Thanks!
@sedel1027 (17854)
• United States
10 Aug 08
You could always dontate it or give it to any neices you may have.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I'm afraid to donate it to just anybody out of fear it won't be appreciated for it's beauty. I know that sounds silly but it's true. The dress is really pretty and it's very sentimental to me so I'd want someone who's close to me to borrow it so I think I'm going to keep it a while longer and see how the future holds. My only niece got married last year but it was a good suggestion though! Thanks!
• United States
10 Aug 08
There are several things, perhaps hadn it down to a niece or a younger sister, some other younger female that you are especially close with. You can sell it, ebay is a great place, to sell and tget a decent price for it, or at a consignment shop. If you are creative and can sew, you can use it to make other garments, and perhaps keep a part of it such as the train if it had one, as your rememberance for the sentimental value.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I wish I could sew but it's not one of my specialties. I learned how to do that in jr high school but that was so long ago that I can't remember what is what on the machines. I'd love to take classes some day and will if ever given the chance. I think I might keep the dress a little while longer for I have a tall God daughter who may want to wear it on her wedding day. That is, if she can find a way to make it longer for I know she'll be much taller than I am when she finishes growing.
• United States
10 Aug 08
I guess it would all depend on what you may want to do with it. A friend of mine and I just recently had this discussion. She and I are both plus size girls and do not want to see our children this size when they get married. She had a great idea for us...make something out of the gown. If all it is going to do is take up space, make something out of it. We discussed using the lace on the gowns for a border on a pillow made from the satin on the gown. Since you have already had it cleaned and preserved, it shouldn't be a problem doing this. We had also thought about getting a keepsake box for all of the wedding memories from that special day (the cake server, glasses, etc.) and then you could pad and cover the outside of the box with the material from the gown and keep it in your living room or bedroom. There is always the option of putting the gown up on EBay and selling it there or taking it to you local consignment shop if you can't bear the thought of cutting into the gown to make something out of it. There are many people out there that look for inexpensive gowns for their big day.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
When I first got married, I was a size 6. I can only dream of being such a size today!! LOL I'm more than twice that size but you know what? I don't care because I'm happy and that's all that matters so don't cut yourself down sweetie because there's more of you and ME to love!! I think I'm going to keep it for a few more years in hopes to find someone really special to wear it again. It is too pretty to cut up into pieces so I think I'm going to wait a little more and think on it. Thanks though!! You gave very good suggestions!
• China
10 Aug 08
i think you should keep it until forever for jit is of a good value to you .maybe you can give it to you daughter as a memorial
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
You didn't read my discussion through because I stated we aren't able to have children. We tried for a long time but it just wasn't meant to be. I'm going to keep the dress a few more years in hopes someone will come along and want to wear it.
@mimico (3619)
• Philippines
10 Aug 08
Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you for 17 years of marriage. Only a few lucky couples are able to stay together that long, and I hope I'll be one of them. It's too bad that you don't have any kids, but I'm sure your love is expressed elsewhere be it through charitable work or caring for animals. With regards to the dress, perhaps you can lend/give it a niece? If it still fits you, then you can also wear it to celebrate your golden anniversary.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Thank You!! You are right, few stay together this long but it's because divorce is too easily to get these days and very few people really work at their marriage. We've had our share of problems but we've been able to work through them with lots and lots of communication and support of each other. Anyway, since we don't have kids we've had lots and lots of fur babies. Right now we have 9 cats and 3 dogs which we dearly love. lol My only niece got married last year so that idea is out and there's no more girls in this family.... dang it!! lol About the dress size, that's another story so I'll leave THAT one alone! lol
@vimaal (3365)
• India
10 Aug 08
hi friend, advance happy anniversary to you and your hubby.If your or neibhour have babies means you give this gown to that babies.take care.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
My husband and I can't have babies and my neighbors babies have all grown. My only niece got married last year. I just might keep it in hopes to find someone who could use it in the future.
• Philippines
10 Aug 08
im already 30 and i dunno if i will be blessed with children. but im also thinking of what i will do with my wedding gown. here are some suggestions. i know you said its too pretty to cut up, has so much sentimental value but too space consuming...still,if you change your mind about cutting it up, you can ask a professional to make miniature version of the wedding gown and have it displayed in a small glass box. The remaining fabric can be used as a boarder to a large photo frame with your wedding picture on it. and if there's some more remaining fabric, you can ask a special niece or god daughter to make it a part of a her new wedding gown, that way, a part of your dress will live on...
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Oh I love the idea of making a shorter version of the gown! That's a wonderful idea! I'm going to have to think on that one though for it's a right pretty dress. One that I thought I'd never be able to afford until I heard the price of it which was some where around $325. I liked to have picked up my jaw off the floor and bought it on the spot! I have pictures of it on the first page of this discussion if you'd like to see it. It's under my response with #2 and #3.