Do you think friendship exists?

Argentina
August 11, 2008 12:35pm CST
I really don't get the meaning of friendship other people have... I've always thought that a friend was a person that can understand you, a person that wants to share with you a lot of experiences and moments (good and bad), a person in which you can trust all your life... I have friends but sometimes, they don't act in that way and, that situation dissapoints me so much... Maybe I want friendship as a "perfect" thing without mistakes. I always try to be a loyal friend and I really care for my friends... Sometimes they don't... What should I do? Should I change my "friendship" concept? Does friendship exists at all?
2 people like this
37 responses
• India
11 Aug 08
I understand your situation. Even I had thought the same thing. But now I disagree in friendship and love it should be always give. we should not expect anything from them. Just because we are loyal or lovable that doesnt mean that they also should be the same way. If you have understood your friend very well then you should understand him/her that what kind is he/she. If your friendship/love is true then you will get back for sure. Thats what I believe..I hope I make sense.
• Argentina
12 Aug 08
Thank you for adding a new thing to this topic, "what we expect from the others". I will keep on thinking what you said. Good luck!
2 people like this
• Canada
12 Aug 08
Sujit...you wrote - "If your friendship/love is true then you will get back for sure. That’s what I believe. I hope I make sense.: I just can't tell you just how much I disagree with you on this point. I can't tell you how many times I have witnessed true friendship from myself and even others not get it back. The bottom line is some people are just takers not equals or givers or sincere in their friendships. The true sincere friend soon feels the sting of that kind of friend. Have you ever felt that a friend you cherished truthfully did not cherish you in the same way you did? Have you ever felt although you would do your best to stand up for you friend you would not trust them to do the same for you if you needed them too? I totally think the starter of this discussion has had a reality check when it comes to friendship. He needs to reconsile this issue and continue to be the kind of friend he desires to be. To keep good friends close and the others at a distance. Let's not be any one's fool.
@nanciem (1106)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Hiya..nicoalessandroni.. WOW! LOL I must say That I do know friendship does exist! I have such great friends, I am not saying we don't get pissed off at eaach other, because we do, but you know what?.. at the end of the day we are still friends. I have been fortunate enough to have found "best friends" I say it plural, because they are, they come, hang around, then go, I find a new one.. But ya know.. there is always that "ONE BEST FRIEND" no matter what, maybe it has been 5 years since you have spoken, however, a true friend.. you can pick up the phone and not even realize it's been 5 years, you pick up where you left off, now that's friends.. they are out there. Please do not get discouraged, they do exist. A friendship is NEVER perfect, that is the beauty of it, we accept each other for our faults, we applaude each other for our achievements, it's just love. We are never perfect, nor is our friendships. We do our best and keep people close to our hearts, think about me once, I will think about you twice, hug me once, I will hug you twice, Love me one moment, and I will love you forever! As we are friends. Nancie
2 people like this
• Argentina
12 Aug 08
Thanks for encouraging me, I believe you that friendship exists, and I think I should not lose hope. It's very beautiful your "love" in a relationship concept, I'll think about it. Thank you a lot, you were very comprehensive and nice to me... :)
1 person likes this
@metalhalo (601)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I completely agree with your whole concept of friendship. That's how it should be but a lot of times it doesn't turn out that way. A lot of people take others for granted. Or the friendship is one-sided. The older I get the less I put up with. If someone constantly hurts me and isn't really there for me...then I simply walk away. Life is too short to deal with people who only want friends when it's convenient for them. Of course nothing in life is going to be perfect, people or friendships. People are going to make mistakes, say the wrong thing at times, or make stupid choices that later they'll regret. It's the true frinds who stick by your side and understand.
2 people like this
• Argentina
12 Aug 08
I want to thank you for your answer, you've helped me a lot and demostrated me that I have to believe in friendship and that maybe, I have to find the right friends. Thanks again!
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Aug 08
yes friendships do exsist. i have one true friend, i met her when i was 5 and to this day we are still friends (shes the one that got me started on mylot lol). but shes been there for me through everything. hell she was at the hospital the whole day with me the day my oldest was born, she was there to hold her before she cleaned off after being born while my daughters father took off to the bar. she was the only friend i had growing up that would come sit on my front step and play with me cause my mother wouldn't let me off the steps to play. she was the one there to throw a baby shower for me after finding out i was pregnant with my youngest and i had nothing for her cause i gave it all away after my son was done with it cause i didn't plan on having anymore kids. shes boghten all kinds of stuff when my daughter does fund raising at school to help her out. shes been there for me to talk to when i've needed someone and she tries to make me feel better. people that hurt you or disappoint you or just use you are not true friends
2 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
12 Aug 08
Friendships are as different as people are. Remember comunication is the most difficult thing we do. We all hear things through filters of our own experiences and on and on it goes. I just try to always think of kindness first and to understand everything from the otherperson's point of view. I have been hurt many times by friends I trusted so I am very reluctant to trust, I have always expected to much from others and that is my fault not theirs. So I do on to others as I would like them to do to me and hope for the best. LOL
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
for me, friendship sometimes exist, sometimes not, becuase i encountered that situation.... ive been a high scholl student last 4 years, then, i had 4 best friends, when we graduated, our friendship i think faded away just like an ash in blowed by a wind untill it was gone... now that we are in college, we dont have communications even if we cellphones, PC's to chat with, etc. . . . if we see each other sometimes in a week, month or a year, we are just talking or simply smiling to each other..it was so different just not just like in our past friendship days... from children, we have lots of friends, until the day goes by, we faces new challenges in life, meeting new people, friends, etc., and it becomes different when we got in high school, so on with college life, untill we got married and have a family.. but there are people who are getting responsible on their friendsship.. it's just like how you take good care of it... we, ourselves are responsible of knowing what friendship is in our life.. just like you, you know what is friendship and if it is existing to you....
1 person likes this
• Argentina
13 Aug 08
Wow, your words are fantastic, I've been thinking about it and it helped me a lot to think about me when I was in High School... Something similar happened to me, but now that I've read all the answers from other people, I realize that they were not real friends, they were people with who I shared very preety moments... I keep on thinking, it's very interesting this topic, thanks for your answer!
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Thanks a lot... just one thing for sure.. you, yourself only know if friendship exist.. it is in the different individuals how they take care of thier friendship... God bless...
• United States
11 Aug 08
Friendship does exist, just with the right people. And there are different types of friendships. You have just your friends you chill with, then you have the ones you can talk to, which is what a BEST friend is. People are just funny like that, some are selfish and it's okay for you to help them with their problems, but when the shoes on the other foot it's different. You just need the right kinds of people in your life.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
11 Aug 08
true. life is funny especially when it comes to the sense, friendship. many people do not really know the real meaning of friendship. they just say you are firends just because you know each other. real friendship is more than that. it's more than just knowing each other... it's about being there for each other no matter what.
1 person likes this
• Argentina
12 Aug 08
Thanks for your response... It's interesting your point of view... all friends doesn't have to share with you the "friendship" concept and may act different... You then have different types of friendships... I'll keep thinking!
1 person likes this
@vampiria (67)
• India
11 Aug 08
First of all, I would like to say that the question you have asked is completely invalid. Friendship exists my friend. Yeah, sometimes friends don't behave in the way we expect from their side and it's natural though. Everyone can't be your Best friend. Or it can ?? You meet loads of people in your life. Then you choose your friend among those, and lastly you find best friends among the chosen ones. You must except anything from your best friends' side, if they stab you..it means you have chosen wrong friends. . but it doesn't mean that Friendship never exists. It's you who has chosen wrong friends.. You know what we try to find our best friends among the people we like...try to find your bestie from the people who likes you. :) You will never regret later on.
• India
11 Aug 08
Correction to my earlier post:- If** you expect**** anything from your Best friends' side and if they stab you ................ I'm sorry for my Bad english.
1 person likes this
@mEisky (825)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
ofcourse yep..it really do exist my friend.hmm.i bet you have some friends.coz if does then that's the answer to that my friend.
@xchen486 (11)
• China
13 Aug 08
The friendship does exist, maybe you just haven't met yet, but I think if there are something you and your friends go through together, help out together, and really care about each other, then your friendship grows up. It need time, but I think finally you will get it.
1 person likes this
@luvjabb (58)
• United States
12 Aug 08
No one is perfect honey life is so full of dissapointments we just have to make the best of it ,we all make mistakes and hopefull we learn from them.just be the best friend you can be and hope that you friends do the same.
1 person likes this
@lily3753 (390)
• China
12 Aug 08
Of course ,of course. I have so many friend ,but only a few of them can share good relationship with me . and we can talk anything ,there is no secret between us . though my boyfriend is the most closed person ,but there is something that I can only talk to my friend .
1 person likes this
12 Aug 08
Hello nicoalessandroni, Yes, I think you should chang your friends, friends should be there for you no matter, if they have time they make time just for you and help you when you need them. I have two friend one friend I have for over 30 years and the other over 16 years and I know that I can relie on them when I need them and I do the same for them. Tamara
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
11 Aug 08
in the real world, perfection when it comes to relationships does not really exist. no matter how much we try to be a good person, there will always be mistakes and shortcomings. in my whole life, i only consider three persons as my bestfriends. these three are someone i can trust with when it comes to my secrets. these friends are someone i can rely on. they are always there whenever i have problems. they never leave me alone especially in times of difficulties. but we do hurt each other sometimes. i think that is just normal in this life. good thing is, we always try to talk about the mistakes we commit and patch things up. that's the way our friendship works. it is up to you if you want to change the concept of "friendship" in your sense. just for me, it will never be a perfect thing.
1 person likes this
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Absoultly friendship exsists! It will NEVER be a perfect thing without mistakes let me tell you that now. There will be days your best friend can annoy you or you can disagree on certain thigns. It doesn't mean the friendship doesn't exsist. Just like romantic relationships they have to be worked on and kept up. It is a two way street and each individual has to make the effort to maintain the friendship.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Aug 08
Welcome to myLot, newbie. You're sure to make a lot of wonderful friends here, but it's not the sort of friendship you describe. You're talking about ultimate friendship. It's a rare and treasured thing. Nobody will ever come through 100%, because we're all human, and distractions come along. Usually, friends who are lucky enough to share that elusive attribute will become lovers and marry, or at least remain so close that other friends and lovers can't fully participate in their lives. We all have friends at work or at school or online or in the neighborhood who are indeed friends, but not that deeply attached as the ideal friend would be. It's very much a matter of degrees. If you find it, cherish it, and work on making sure you don't lose it!
1 person likes this
@jinxky (2251)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
maybe you haven't found your 'true friend'.. me, i got lots of friends but only few of them are loyal, or should i say that they are with me through thick & thin..
• Argentina
13 Aug 08
Thanks for your answer, I guess I have to keep on looking for new and real friends that share my view of what friendship is.
@jinxky (2251)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
goodluck to you
@Zoe0815 (11)
• China
12 Aug 08
Sometimes i got the same feelings as you.But these feelings do not stay long.We should have no doubt about the existing of friendship.If you do not have real friend around you,don't lose faith to friendship.Because you are a good guy,the real friend will come to you sooner or later.GOOD LUCK
• Argentina
13 Aug 08
Thank you for your words! All this comments make me happy and encouraged to continue my search of a real friend and it's fantastic not to lose hope! Thanks again!
• China
12 Aug 08
my English is poor,but i want to express that i'm like you!i want to friends to shanres with me ! but my heart was broken by them!maybe i don't have friends ! i'm always troubled! but i think friendship exits!
• Argentina
13 Aug 08
Thank you for expressing what you think, I think that when we're stuck in such moments as the one I described at first in this discussion we have to keep on trying as many people have answered. Nice that i'm not the only one! lol
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
12 Aug 08
Well nicoaless, I'm afraid you have learned one of lifes not very pleasant lessons. Friendship does exist, but you must choose carefully. There are different types of friendships. It is hard to be a loyal friend and not everyone that is a friend will live up to your expectations of what you would like that to be. I have been disappointed many times by friends, but that is the way life is. Don't give up and let this dissapointment keep you from believing that there aren't true friends to be made. Just keep on being the person that you are and you will find what you are looking for. There are alot of good people in the world that would love to be your friend, you'll see...
• Argentina
13 Aug 08
I won't give up, thank you for your words. I will keep on trying to find a friend mantaining as well my view about what friendship is... This comment was very nice, thanks again.