Help! I loaned out more money than I thought!

@di1159 (1580)
United States
August 14, 2008 12:39pm CST
Hi everyone! I've been a member here for several months and have never posted a discussion. Currently I have a dilemma and am looking for advice. About a month ago, we went on a trip with a large group of friends. One of them was a single mom traveling with her two children. Well in the airport on our return, she asked if she could borrow some money since she had run out and her bank card wasn't working. I gave her $50.00. For the next week or so, she kept thanking me and promised to pay, but I felt sorry for her and told her to forget about it, that if one day I needed it she could repay the favor. Well I just found out that my husband had also made some purchases for her at the airport (since her card was not working) and it was for $100.00. Now I don't know how to approach the subject since I already told her I wouldn't accept her money. I hadn't known about this until he asked me if she had reimbursed us. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to approach this delicately?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@spalladino (17926)
• United States
14 Aug 08
It's best to just be upfront with her. Tell her that you didn't know at the time that your husband had also loaned her money and that you're not in a financial position to absorb an expense of that size right now so you really need her to repay as much as she can as soon as she can. As long as you're nice about it, there's no reason for her to get upset with you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Aug 08
Good idea, however, she knew that she was taking advantage of them and their kindness, so she will also know that she has been found out. Knowing that they discovered that she had used them, she might get upset, even though she really has no reason too.
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@di1159 (1580)
• United States
14 Aug 08
You are right, I'd rather "get it over with" and ask for the money even if I'm embarrassed to. She shouldn't get angry, but then you know how touchy people can get when it comes down to money. I'm going to have to make a decision and proceed. Thanks for your input!
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
21 Aug 08
@palonghorn (5486)
• United States
14 Aug 08
Well, one of two ways you could handle this situation. Since you did say that 'if one day you needed it she could repay you that way', you could come up with a 'reason' for 'needing' the money, and ask her that way. Or, the other way to handle it is, just chalk it up to an expensive lesson learned, and leave it behind. Either way, sounds like she played on your emotions as well as your husband's to get money from you. I think when she stated that her bank card wasn't 'working' I would have figured it to not work because there was no funds there. And since you say it was at the airport on the return home, what could she have really needed? and that cost $100? plus the $50 you gave her. Good luck with this one.
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@di1159 (1580)
• United States
14 Aug 08
Thanks I had not thought about coming up with a 'reason'. We had different return flights and I gave her the 50.00 since she didn't have any cash to buy food for her and the kids, and to get some refreshments on the plane for them. The 100 my husband told me was in a souvenier shop where she went to pay for some shirts and the card didn't go through. It was there that he lent her ours. Thanks for the idea.
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