are you anti social?

@mitchii (154)
United States
August 15, 2008 7:52am CST
hello guys are you anti social? what makes a person act this way? what are signs that you are anti social? i have a friend name joeseph that likes to be by his self most of the time. when he is around 2 or 3 people he is fine more than that in a crowded place he is in a corner somewhere. he also feels that he needs to drink to open up. do you consider this a problem?
12 people like this
40 responses
• India
15 Aug 08
yes this is certainly a problem which needs immediate consideration.i will not call it anti-social now, but if it lingers much then it can result into a devastating effect. So, please talk to some psychiatric doctor to know how to deal with this type of mentality and how to remove this type of activity of him. It is the only solution for him ...
2 people like this
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Wanting to be alone is not by itself being antisocial. It maybe because the person is insecure hich makes him shy and unsure around others and gives him feelings of inadequacy when he is with others so he prefers to be alone or a loner. This of course is a problem in itself, being so insecure, but iot is not being antisocial. Being antisocial can mean many things but the basic meaning is that the person is antagonistioc to others and can be very uncooperative or violent or even aggressive just to show his contempt of everyone. Of course one who is insecure can try to cover up by being a loner or aggressive. An antisocial person howevr is one who feels that society has done him harm and does not deserve his respect and cooperation. That is indeed a big problem because it can lead to more negative thimngs like committing a crime or becoming a psychopath.
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
in gatherings i keep myself in the company of close friends and i seldom make an effort to know new faces. at times i want to be all by myself. am i a loner? of course i am not. am i so insecure? no, perhaps. am i anti-social? definitely not. i still believe that we take part in a society where we learn through our encounters and grow with it.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Actually I do prefer to stay in the company of close friends during gatherings as i feel more comfortable with them but social responsibilitis and obligations necessitate my mingling with others. I do this but i don't necessarily enjoy doing so. My philosophyis that when i am in a party or go out I do so to enjoy that's why i prefer to be with friends but I agree this does not make me antisocial. I might also have feelings of insecurity or inadequacy sometimes but this is not a problem since i can rise above these feelings.On occasion, I prefer to be alone not for any particuar reason although it could also be coz i am bored with the company but this does not make me antisocial. Being antisocial is something else and can really be a problem.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
16 Aug 08
I guess I would be considered a loner myself, mitchii, because I choose to spend a lot of time alone. I think it stems from a mostly solitary childhood. I raised 4 daughters and the house always seemed to be buzzing with activity and noise, so I can fully appreciate the solitude that I now enjoy.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Aug 08
Dos not sound like your friend is ANTI-social. Just kind of NON-social. The difference is that anti-social people hate society and do harm, while non-social just prefer to have a solitary life and like their own company more. Einstein was not anti-sicial? But he was non-social and did great things! -Take your friend as he comes and visit him once in a while. But respect his enjoyment of solitude~! He might do great things in life..write/paint or do other good thigs while being alone and not disturbed! He sounds fine to me. It's YOU that ahve the problem wiht his enjoyment of being in hos own home and alone!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 08
Have a friend who prefers to be alone most of the time, but he is very active. He just does activities alone. One quirk he has is that he refuses to accept gifts, birthday, Christmas or otherwise from friends or family. He will either put the item away and never look at it or immediately discard it. He is obviously distraught when someone gives him something. What causes this behavior?
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
16 Aug 08
My husband doesn't like to be around other people. This causes him to miss out on a lot of family activities. He also drinks, this isn't to have a good time. It is, so he say, to relax. He runs and operates his own construction business. He is fine with that. He has no problem being around business people. He doesn't like a social environment at all........:-)
1 person likes this
@rbailey83 (1428)
• Canada
15 Aug 08
i would say i am anti social, a lot of it has to do with my past though. Inside i would love to be out, talking with people, meeting people, but even around 1 person i cannot bring myself to talk unless spoken to first and even then it is just a quick response. I cannot bring myself to believe that the person really wants to talk to me or even have me around, so for the most part i just sit, observe, keep to myself, but i never stop trying, the only way to overcome the problem is to put myself in those situations
1 person likes this
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
My dear rbailey. That is not being antisocial. That is just being insecure and lacking in confidence in yourself. Don't belittle yourself too much. Instead of thinking or not believing that a person who talks with you reLLY wants to talk with you, why don't you instead think do i want to talk with this person? Does he deserve to talk to me? And believe you are doing a person a favor by giving him time and attention when you talk with him. What you need is to bel;ieve more in yourself but that is not the same as being antisocial.
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
16 Aug 08
Sometimes I am. There are times when I simply hate crowds and just feel like staying at home the entire day. I hardly get my own personal free time and hardly get to do rest at home the entire day due to my busy working schedule. I am glad to say, I finally get to stay at home and rest today I prefer to do certain things like Swimming, running and shopping alone. I have many friends who prefer to have company but I think sometimes it's better to do it alone.
1 person likes this
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Well, I don't think that drinking to become social is a good idea at all. My son gets sweaty hands, feels like he is going to throw up and pass out. He just does deep breathing to get through. Now for me, I can be social over the internet easier than in person. I even use to work with the public as a cashier, now I can't even deal with a lot of people. When I was working as a cashier and I would take the kids camping, I would find a lot that didn't have a single person near me and I am the same way when I go fishing. Now tonight my son has his first field trip with his new school, that is actually an online school, so I have to take my meds to help with the anxiety that I get really bad in large groups. I have had "friends" that have also stabbed me in the back and hurt me so bad that I will not make friends with people in person, online is fine, but not face to face. It does get lonely, but for now, I have my boys that gives me enough drama for ten families and friends.
1 person likes this
@paid2write (5201)
16 Aug 08
Many of us don't like to be in crowded places, and would rather find a quiet corner, it does not make us antisocial. It may be that your friend is a little shy, or he is just someone who does not naturally open up to strangers. There is nothing wrong in being like that. Let him make his own friends in his own way and don't make him feel that there is something wrong with him, or you could harm his self esteem. The ability to be by yourself is a good thing. It means you rely less on your friends and family, use your own judgement and are more independent.
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Just because a personal likes to keep to himself doesn't make him an "anti-social" or insecure or anything... The guy just likes to be alone... More often than not, I'd rather be alone... I just don't like to be crowded around or crowd around someone... I'm not that insecure, or my ego is not that screwed up, that I need to involve myself with a lot of people... I'm quite content being myself & at times, being by myself... I do have few good friends that I hang out with 2 - 3 times a month... Now, that being said, I don't need to drink to open up to anyone or even start up a conversation... That could be an issue, but then again, may be not... I don't want to jump to any wrong conclussions about the person... Except for the "drinking to open up" part, I don't see any problem with him wanting to be alone or not wanting to be in a large crowd... May be he likes it that way & people should respect that of him & give his rightful space...
• United States
16 Aug 08
I am the same way. I don't like to be anti-social but I have anxiety when it comes to large groups of people, so I tend to sit by myself. If it's a few people I know then I'm fine, but if it's more than that, I can't breathe.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 08
Well, I like to be alone more than I like to be with people. I have always been like this, but not as much as I am now, because I work more I would rather relax at home by myself without people to attend to. My friends want to spend the night here a lot but I don't really let them anymore since I just don't like to deal with people when I am on my days off. I guess I am a little anti-social, but not really, when it comes to maintaining friendships and doing things with people, but I am very happy with myself. When I work so much I kind of just dread being with friends, it seems like a chore to me, and I would just rather be with myself for once. I think your friend is fine, to be anti-social it's a little more extreme than that. He's just a little shy and like a wallflower when it comes to being around a lot of people, it's common.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Aug 08
No I am not anti social. I do like to spend some time alone. Not everyone wants to be the center of attention in a large group. Some people are just more comfortable when they are with a few friends. As far as the drinking. I just have no answer for that.
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
i enjoy being alone but that doesn't mean that i'm anti-social.i socialize when i need to..
1 person likes this
@quawertz (777)
• Philippines
20 Aug 08
I used to say I am anti-social. But when I took up my psychology subject I have realized that I don't have the characteristics to be categorized as an "anti-social". Based on my psychology, anti-social people the more friendlier ones and they are often the serial killers. they Befriend their victims first before they kill them. So I am nothing like that but I do hate the crowd. I feel like its so noisy and so unorganized. I just hate it a lot.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
17 Aug 08
I do think your friend might have a problem. He might not be anti-social. He could be feeling depressed. If I have such a friend, I would speak to him and find out if anything is bothering him. If he prefers to keep to himself, I would oblige him and not bother him, but I would be concerned. No one is anti-social in nature.
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
7 Feb 09
I'm so sorry for coming in so late. Well, I must admit frankly that I'm also an introvert kind of person and don't like to mix up very much. But that doesn't mean in anyway that I'm against other people. It's just that, I like aloofness.
18 Aug 08
i am anti social. i can sit in the dining room at work, with crowds of people around me, but i will read or go on the computor and be quite happy with my own company. people are aware of my anti social ways, and apologise if they need to speak to me. ( i have no idea why they feel the need to apologise, if they speak to me i will answer, and then go bak to what i am doing) but i was the same as a child. i was an only child and did have 2 imaginary friends, boy and a girl, and had 2 imaginary big brothers !!!! but i was always labelled as a loner when i was younger. i just dont feel the need to be constantly entertained, i do have friends, but when i have free time, because i am in the sort of job where i am constantly talking and advising other people, i do need some time to unwind. by the way i am teetotal. i also like sending txts or e mails, so probably that it my preferred way of communicating with people :-)
@jsmith12 (438)
• Canada
27 Aug 08
It depends on what spawns it really. Some people just prefer to be alone, but there could be any number of issues causing it. There are conditions like NVLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disability) or Asperger's that cause people to have difficulties in socal settings.
• Italy
21 Aug 08
better just evil that accompanied a proverb says sometimes this is not a defect I think that from time to time you should stay a little company!