painful thoughts and breakdowns

@bunnybon7 (37950)
Holiday, Florida
August 17, 2008 3:39pm CST
Do you tend to move painful thoughts to the back of your mind and just move on as some therapists teaches? or do you believe in facing them as other therapist say? i've always kind of been my own therapist and say to myself "move on, forget it, its in the past and NOTHING you can do will bring it back and change it" oh, i sometimes have it catch up with me a few hours or minutes, but then choose to cry it out and go on. how do you feel? what do you think would cause a break down? putting it aside or facing it?
2 people like this
10 responses
@rbailey83 (1400)
• Canada
17 Aug 08
for a very long time i always put them aside, i buried them, and i think in the long run it did more damage. Out of automatic habit i still bury most, sometimes i face them, but usually they overtake me and there is nothing i can do until it goes back into hiding
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
18 Aug 08
well thats about what i do now. i try to just cry it out, then move on. mostly today men are expected to be able to cry to you know.
@rbailey83 (1400)
• Canada
18 Aug 08
lol yeah there are the odd times that i completely break down from memories or certain thoughts and i will cry it out. sometimes wish i could cry more often, it helps sometimes to release everything
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
18 Aug 08
I, habitually, rightfully or wrongfully, think it out over time. I've always found that I cannot help but think these things out no matter how painful or how irretrievable they are. It can be torture but that's how I do it.
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Aug 08
i know. thats good if thats how you can cope.
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
18 Aug 08
I'm like you. I tell myself to forget it and move on because theres nothing i can do to change the past... but sometimes it will catch me out of the blue and this could be hours or even weeks, months later but then i will either try to deal with it but i hate crying so i vent but i have a problem of re-pushing it down again until i have so much built up that i can't do anything but let it out and i break down and cry... but sometimes...that can take years for it to happen. i'm not sure which would cause a break down.. i think it depends on what it it is
• United States
18 Aug 08
That´s a great question. I was actually thinking about that this morning. I´m kind of bitter about an exboss of mine who just got to be intolerable. So I quit. I called her and because she wasn´t in I just left her a message and said F*** it. So she didn´t pay me my last check. You know it doesn´t matter how you quit. when someone fires you they don´t give you a two week notice, they give you 5 mins to get out of their office. The business world is just hipocracy all over. anyway, I guess there´s really nothing to do about certain decisions we make in life. sometimes we have to stop and consider that if we weren´t worried about the outcome when we decided, then I guess we shouldn´t care now when we´re regretting it. So letting it go would be the only choice. Face the fact that you didn´t care enough at the time of deciding, so why care now? It´s different when someone does something to you, then I guess you should just wish them the best and be glad that you´re not them.. you didn´t do anything wrong to begin with. there´s too much to live for to be stuck in sadness regreting life. I guess it should be the sentence of the day each morning when I get up.
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Aug 08
i wouldnt say you should feel that way, but i got let go once and it caused me some real deppressoin till i got another job
@prettyD (123)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
We are only humans even if we don't feel like putting painful thoughts in our mind but we can't help it especially that if you are really in pain. On the first reaction maybe i would face it but afterwhich i'll put it aside and I will lift it all to God.
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Aug 08
thats a good idea. many people get on well with his help
@subha12 (18453)
• India
18 Aug 08
I am not able to do so till dates. may be its thje best way to do so. but not always possible for me. i try to keep the pain at back of mind. but sometimes they come to the forefront.
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Aug 08
oh i know. its how you can cope
• India
18 Aug 08
Forget it and move on. The past no longer exists, except in our thoughts. We are the ones who keep it alive and allow the same painful even to hurt us throughout our lives. Shed it, and move on. Ever seen a duck shake itself off? Even dogs do it. Shake off your past like that. It has no more power over you. And yes, seeing therapists is a waste of time and money. :) Cheers and happy mylotting
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Aug 08
exactly. thats why i quit going to therapy years ago.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
18 Aug 08
I try to move on with any painful thoughts I may have....yes the thoughts will ALWAYS be there but I think it's worse if one keeps dwelling on them cause then it's like reliving it over and over again even though it's in the past. To keep thinking and dwelling on it and reliving the painful thoughts I think it's worse as you're then always living in the past instead of living in the now, the present
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
18 Aug 08
exactly. thats how i deal with it and try to tell some of my kids to do that still stay there.
@almae01 (112)
• Spain
17 Aug 08
Hi, i try to forget about them, but it sometimes happens that they catch up with me, if something reminds me of them, i think its better to cry or find a way to get all those feelings out (i usally write stuff) instead of holding it in or trying to ignore their existance.
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
17 Aug 08
you know my daughter recently told me that and it does seem to help.
@myahw20 (1116)
• Canada
17 Aug 08
I do get these painful thoughts sometimes. I just suddenly feel down and I don't even know why exactly hehe. I just end up crying it out and falling asleep after.
@bunnybon7 (37950)
• Holiday, Florida
17 Aug 08
yes, some people say a good cry gets it out and we are done. i find that often true and feel better after.