Is it right to break up a family because you're not happy?

United States
August 18, 2008 10:06am CST
There is a man my husband works with who's wife is pregnant with their 10th child. A few months back this guy cheated on his wife, and it was a pretty big shock because I thought he was a good husband and father. Well my husband began to tell me about all these problems this couple was having, even before he cheated. Apparently they realized shortly after their marriage that they were just not happy together, but were only staying together for the children. Yet for one reason or another, they kept having more children! Well he has recently moved out of the house, leaving his wife with her 9, almost 10 kids. And I can tell by the way that he's talking, that he's already messing around with other women. I think this is just dispicable. First of all, if they weren't happy together, they shouldn't have kept having kids. Second of all, I don't think it's fair that he left his family just because he wasn't happy. Those kids need their father around, and the wife needs his help. I think they should have at least looked into professional help before deciding to call it quits. What do you think of this situation?
3 responses
@Barb42 (4225)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Why did they have children if they weren't happy? And, I wonder what they wife would say about all this? Perhaps she thought they were happy. This happened to my daughter, and the last year they were together was the one year she didn't worry about what he was doing. Come to find out, he was preparing to leave her and the kids! He even went to her class reunion that year as though nothing was wrong! She truly believed it. He went to family functions that he had never cared for before and been hospitable! All a put on! She tried her best to get him to go to counseling, but the women meant more to him than their marriage and kids. This man doesn't realize the position he's putting this woman in with 10 kids! I think men who do this are among the worse people in the world! They help get the kids here (pleasure), but the work they don't mind leaving behind for the woman. How is she going to survive with 10 kids?
• United States
18 Aug 08
This did not come as a surprise to the wife. Perhaps his cheating did, but his leaving was no surprise. I guess they had talked about it many times. I'm actually surprised she took him back after he cheated, but it's true, how is she going to raise 10 kids?
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4225)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Unless they are rich, it's going to be a big hardship for her. It is rough on my daughter with 4 kids, getting a big alimony (he wanted them to have enough money to pay bills - didn't matter about food and extras, I say sarcastically!) and working. But how is this woman going to work with this many kids, not to say a little one when it gets here? And, if she were able to, could she afford a baby sitter? Seems highly unlikely, but perhaps they've already decided. But it bothers me when men do their wives like this when they have kids!
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12605)
• United States
18 Aug 08
I have to say I agree with you. Not bringing more kids into it would have been the wise thing to do. I feel for the mother. Marriages have there ups and downs. A counselor may have been able to help. What a shame. Seems pretty selfish of the guy. I hope everything works out well for the kids. They are the victims of his decision. Not that I think everyone doesn't have a right to be happy. But when you have kids, they come first.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Aug 08
I have seen couples that are Very much in Love not have more then 3-4 children. So it is very odd to me that they would have going on 10 and feel that they were not happy. Yes I agree that they should have got counceling years ago. Now all these little kids are going to have a harder life. I am not sure that some people know what true happiness really is. It is ashame!
• United States
1 Oct 08
Thank you very much for Best response!