is it enough ?

@vanities (11351)
Davao, Philippines
August 20, 2008 6:03am CST
i mean to lose a friend over money she owed to you? when a best friend since childhood loan you some money and its been months since the period she had promise had lapsed and yet she does not pay you yet..does money be the root cause for the falling out of friendship? i guess i had to understand my friend and find out the causes for the failure to pay.. ...theres no amount of money that can break us up unless its intentional(on her part not to pay)..what about you guys??
11 people like this
48 responses
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
20 Aug 08
My personal opinion is that one should never loan money to a friend or family member if one can't afford to give it to them. It's nice if they repay as they promised, but if not then I am not going to let money get in the way of our relationship. Can you put a price on friendship? We can earn more money but good friends can be hard to find.
3 people like this
@tryxiness (4549)
• Philippines
20 Aug 08
I agree with you. If there is one thing I have learned about loaning money, it is loaning an amount that you know you could live by without any expectations of the amount being returned. It is more or less a simple way of giving it. Anyways, I do hope you get by with your friend, is your years of friendship less important than the amount she loaned you? :)
• United States
21 Aug 08
Wonderfully put! I agree completely!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 08
The bible actually has a practical and relevant take on this subject. It says that the borrower is slave to the lender. Therefore, when you loan money to friends or family, you actually alter the relationship. Instead of friends, you become master and slave. That will inexorably change the relationship and skew every other aspect of it. Like a mentor of mine always says, "Lend or borrow from family and Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same again." If you can't afford to give the money as a gift, you can't afford to lend it, either.
@intimate36 (1416)
• Pakistan
21 Aug 08
In first place , avoid borrowing or lending money , as much as possible..But , A friend in need is a friend in deed... So , when ever you lend money to your best friend , forget it ,never think of getting back..This way , your relations won't break... I do this , And if the money is returned , that is bonus..
3 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 08
That is a good way to look at it ! if have give too and if returned even better . i believe if i had more money i would help out many people just because i could .
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
reasonable enough..i guess the more you give the more blessing you will receive..
1 person likes this
@metschica25 (5409)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I believe that there would be a reason she is not paying you back . she may of thought she could but something could of happned and now she does not have the money . a good talk would be needed and i am sure the friends would feel so bad about it and give the money if she could . even if there could be some kind of payment plan .
3 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
i guess..theres always a reason for everything..and surely i can understand it if she will inform me..
1 person likes this
• Guam
20 Aug 08
for me it depends on how much she owes you and the reason why she can't pay on time. Borrowing money and paying a friend back as soon as possible shows how much a person respects you, also when he or she informs you in advance why he or she can't pay on time. Friendship should have respect, because if it doesn't then why are you friends in the first place if you can't show respect. I have a friend, who I love so dearly, he owes me money, not much, but he informs me that he still owes me money, he's going to pay me when he can. And I don;t hold a grudge on him whenever he tells me he can't pay me now, because he still maintains constant communication. But if it was someone else, who would hide from me and not respond to any of my messages, it makes me feel disrespected, and that affects my trust and our relationship. If a friend borrows money and can't pay, just as long as their honest and they treat me as their friend, money is no object, plus, its just paper that's over rated.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
and i agree with you on that..constant communication and the knowledge that she cant pay just yet is reasonable enough..plus the number of years youve been with as friends..
1 person likes this
• Guam
21 Aug 08
just look at those situations where a person owes you money and they suddenly disappear from your life, first of all it hurts to lose someone in that way, second you feel disrespected.
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
Yes, a friend indeed is really a friend if he/she respects you. Some people really have reasons why they will not be able to pay what they owe. So if my friend explain to me that she/he couldn't pay, I'll accept and understand it. That's what a friend should do. If it's really a big amount of money, it's okay if she pay me in installments. I'll be satisfied if tried to make a way and communicate from me than hide at me at all and never pay me back.
@vidhyavini (6112)
• India
20 Aug 08
Money creates a lot of problem. I never wanted to lend money to my friend or family. If they fail to pay you and when you see them spending for something else, we will get angry on them. This way it starts. If I have lot of money and my friend is in need of money then I will give money to my friend and will not expect it back. Lending huge amounts to friends and family is not wise. Take Care.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
thanks for giving your opinion on this topic..i guess so..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
Money is one of the reasons why people argue. Actually, when a member of a family owe me money, I don't let them pay. If I really have extra money, I just give them and never expect to be paid. They are my family. I know that if ever I needed some money when I have financial problems and they have the money that I can borrow, I know they will help me too. I also let my friends owe money from me especially if she is really in need and have available to lend to her. The problem with me is I'm hesitant and shy when it comes to asking for the payment. For me, if she lend a money from, she should oblige herself to pay me, without waiting for me.
• India
15 Sep 08
Ya thats what I am also saying. It will not create problems if we are good in financial status. It will be good only if we don't expect them to pay back us. It will not happen if its a big amount. Only for small amount we will not expect back.
@jeanchia (138)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 08
when i was young, i have this particular friend who likes to borrow money from me, all the time. She nvr return back a single cent to me, but i still treat her as my friend. money should nvr come in between a friendship, unless you're talking about doing business together and you kept all the profit. But in your question, you were asking about the money that you've loaned to friend, so i think i will nvr let it break our friendship.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Aug 08
thanks for sharing..
1 person likes this
@Ohara_1983 (4122)
• Kuwait
21 Aug 08
Money is not a reason for me to lose a friend because to lend a little amount is just a part of daily part or routine in our part and communication is also a part of it and to my best of frend we used to do the same way but we never ask to it......
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
im glad to hear that from you my friend..thanks for responding..
@subha12 (18462)
• India
21 Aug 08
I think it will be similar from my part a swell. if the friend is really unable to pay back, there is no question of breaking the friendship. but in some cases its intentional and the case is only taking advantages.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
thanks for replying and have a nice day..
@utsadetti (4593)
• United States
21 Aug 08
well, i think it depends on how much money my friend borrowed from me. If the amount of money was small, i would forgive it....but, i would remember and rather keep my step away that thing would not often happened. And if the amount of money was large, sure i would remind her that she still owe me and ask her when she would return it.
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
thanks for dropping by and sharing you ideas..
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
I have some few friends where we don't talk about money (actually only two and they are married to each other) these guys are a friend of mine and friend of my husband too. back in college my husband used to borrow money from them and there is no asking when it would be returns, the same happens when the borrow some from us. our relationship transcend the money sign.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
and great..thats what friends are for i guess..
@sweetie1026 (1724)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
I agree with on that. No amount of money can replace good and true friends. Rarely does friends run to friends for money even if they are really into very bad times. Only when they have no one to turn on to, then and only then would they ask friends to loan them money. I think it is out of respect for the friendship they have.But if ever, a friend had owed you money and has not been able to repay you when he does. Then, i think you should check on him/her maybe he/she really is having a bad and difficult time. True friends are hard to find, money can be earned.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
i guess so ,,thanks for responding and have a good day
@sweetie1026 (1724)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
I agree with you. Money should never be the issue between friends. Good friends stay with each other no matter what. So, money should not be the issue or cause of their breakup. When a friend is in need whether financial, or moral support good friends are there to help. If one friend owes his friend money and is not able to repay it, then i think the friend who loaned the money should try to find out the reason why. Maybe he is really into difficult times. Money can be earned but friends, especially good and true friends are hard to find.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
surely it is right...money should never be the issue
@lixiaos77 (1023)
• Shijiazhuang, China
21 Aug 08
I should frankly point out that money will ruin friendship easily. I believe there should be a balance between your friend with you. And both of you should be considerate. When I never rent a room with my best friend. If the expenses can't be clear between my friend and I, the relationship will be in danger.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
fair enough..thanks
@ashar123 (2360)
• India
21 Aug 08
I have seen many friendships break because of lending money. Same happened with me as I lend some money to friends and they never returned. I did not bother them and they still think that they have fooled me. Money is really a root cause in such break ups of friendships.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
yeah thats what money can do to any friendships if its what you priorities first..
@Reyah23 (641)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
Losing a friend over money happen sometimes. I got friend too who owe me a money, and now hes not my friend. I never bug him or ask him to pay me back. Well maybe he avoided me because he is too shy to tell me that he cannot able to pay me.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
that was sad!! thanks my friend for dropping by here and made an effort to respond...
@tjonys (217)
• China
21 Aug 08
I think that if a true friend, although the money should be very clear,but if you compare the words and friendship,we should first consider is the maintenance of friendship. Of course, if the trust between friends no longer the case, it is not a question of money, you say
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 08
yeah trust is important in friendship..
@Modestah (11195)
• United States
21 Aug 08
I think a lesson learned (do not give or loan that which you are not willing to part with forever) is the friend worth the $$ or not? It is good to try and live by the adage, give without remembering - receive without forgetting. perhaps, if it is very important to you - you can talk with her about a repayment plan rather than all at once. ask her what amount is doable for her.... say $10 a week for however many weeks?
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Aug 08
sounds good
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
I treat lending money to a friend like gambling. My rule in gambling is never to bet an amount of money I can't afford to lose. That way if I lose, I won't cry over it. Same way with friends, if they won't or can't pay me, I won't mind. However, they can only borrow once. If they still owe me, I won't lend them money.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
ohh i see..thanks for sharing your ideas ..
1 person likes this
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
21 Aug 08
I heard many stories of this that friendships are broken because of money. I agree that if you're real friends you would try to understand as much but if that friend really has no intention of paying then that's the only time I think that you should reconsider a bit. Also if that person is areal friend he or she will try to pay it even little by little until the amount is fully paid.
2 people like this
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
yeah maybe she could do that..in schedules..
2 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 08
I have to say that I think a good friendship is worth far more than money. But, I also think you should not lend if it places you under undo stress. If you can loan the money without it putting you in a pinch down the road or if they don't pay you back on time, then I would either lend them only what you can afford to consider a gift since you can't be sure whether or not you will get the money back, or don't loan them money in the first place. I'm lucky to really only have friends who wouldn't ask unless they knew I could afford it and I think all of them would pay me back if I did loan it to them. But, this is a rare occasion anyway as I'm a giving person and if a friend was in need I would offer to help and it would be a gift anyway.
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Aug 08
that is a splended idea!!fair enough..
1 person likes this