Do you feel like you do not know why your spouse is mad at you?

United States
August 20, 2008 8:58pm CST
For the last four days my boyfriend and I can not talk to each other with out getting into an argument. I have not figured out why he is so mad at me. I am just feeling depressed and wish i could understand him. have a great night.
2 people like this
3 responses
@celticeagle (118276)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Aug 08
your spouse may not be mad at you. When people are close they take things out on one another that they really shouldn't. Just happens. Good communication is always important. Pick a good time and try to talk to your spouse about it. Be understanding and a good listener.
• United States
21 Aug 08
Thank you for responding. We just talked about things last night and I think we have worked on things.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 08
Have you tried talking to him about this? I know that sounds weird since you said every time you talk, you fight, but maybe you can pick a time that is not stressful for either of you -- if you're night people, then just before bed. If you're morning people, maybe right when you wake up, before you shower. Ask him if everything is alright or if you've done something to upset or offend him. Explain you can't fix it if you don't know what it is. Just don't do this, say, when he's watching a tv show or just walked in the door from work. Another way to try might be writing him a letter. It will prevent the face to face potential problems but will allow you to get your feelings out. Perhaps he will find it easier to communicate this way as well, especially if there is something he's holding back because he doesn't want to hurt or upset you. I'm not taking sides here since I don't know either of you, but have you been acting differently toward him that may be making him want some space? Who is starting the fights? You? Him? Both of you? Do you have any inkling why you do it, if you are the one who usually instigates? Finding the root of the problem is necessary to fix it. My final suggestion would be to maybe plan a special night... fix a nice dinner and plan to play board games by candlelight after or go out to a place you first fell in love, had a first date or first kiss... this should help spark the good memories - the reasons you fell in love in the first place - making whatever is troubling him now seem less burdensome and perhaps even allowing him to open up to you. Best of luck and I hope this helps you.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Aug 08
Thank you for the advice I did talk to him about things and I think it will be ok.
@nizhama2 (295)
• Malaysia
21 Aug 08
Try to start a communication with him. I think this is an ego problem. Both of you have a small problem and both of you want to settle that problem, but who will start it? I think the most problem in our relationship with our spouse is ego. All of us have that ego, just it is different from person to person. Just try and you will see it will work...