First poem in years

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I know it is there Sleeping, i was unaware slowly it fills me never shall i be free again, i can see the black, i know for sure it is back i will soon go numb nothing i can do, but wait and twidle my thumb never should i have allowed myself to hope why bother? there is no reason to cope i can feel my heart crying crying, but knowing the tears will never come again the cutting has started again the poetry has begun i feel no fear for the unknown my heart sinks lower, i know what is to come there is only one reason i would hold on but it is not worth it, i fear it too will be gone i know my time will soon come too late, already, i have started to go numb ans so i look at you and say i'm sorry, i can no longer stay already i am dieing for you, my heart will always be crying if ever you need me in your mind, you can see me and in your heart, you can feel me i ask only this remember my smile remember my laughter remember my caring touch but please, i beg of you this do not remember me, of that there is nothing to miss