save friendship? or save love..

Philippines
August 22, 2008 7:00am CST
Have you experienced having a boyfriend who at the same time had a relationship with your best friend? What did you do? Would you prefer to save the frienship you have with your best friend and break up with your BF or GF? or save the love you have with you BF or GF and forget your best friend.
3 responses
• United States
22 Aug 08
I've been in a love triangle with my best friend, and it was NOT fun. I ended up with the guy, and I'm married to that guy now...and I still have a great friendship with my friend. I was her matron of honor when she got married and she was one of my bridesmaids. But we were teenagers at the time and it was a very complex situation that was about way more than just cheating - he and I did not have a relationship until they ended theirs. In general, I'd say save the friendship - a guy who would intentionally date two girls who are best friends is PROBABLY not worth it. Does he know that you know? Does your friend know? If your friend doesn't know, you should break it to her as gently as possible. Then the two of you need to talk to this guy and find out what is up. Most likely he's just a dog, but it's also possible that he genuinely feels for both of you, which will make the situation very difficult to resolve, because he's not trying to be a jerk - he just ended up in a situation where he looks like one. Figure out his motivation before deciding whether or not he's worth it. But you do have every right, as does your friend, to make him choose. If he can't/won't, move on. It's not worth the heartache and the waiting. It is possible it's too late to save the friendship, because even though it isn't your fault OR her fault (presumably), the two of you will associate each other with the guy. But try to save it - friends are almost always worth it!
• Philippines
22 Aug 08
It was'nt fun indeed, that is why its hard to resolve specially that your best friend is involve. Though there are lots of fish in the sea, but as what i have told my friends, if she is a real friend, she should not have a relationship with my Bf unless if we break up. Right? Well, our friendship exists before my relationship with Bf that is why its quite confusing. Thanks for the advise, we will talk the three of us, and things will be okay.
• United States
22 Aug 08
I hope everything works out for you and your friend. Best of luck. Know that it might get worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better!
@Jade13 (262)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 08
I will save both. Since its fated that they end up together. There are a lot of other fishes in the sea. May be you are not meant to be together with your BF/GF. May be there are someone else, who is better for you.
• Philippines
22 Aug 08
well its true, but you know what, if she is a real friend as i considered, she should not have a relationship with my Bf knowing that he is mine right? what you think.. Thanks for the message. It was a reflective reply.
@iyah10 (4116)
• Kuwait
28 Aug 08
I am so glad that I did not encounter anything like that situation in my life because when I first my wife now in which before I give her my line I make it sure first that there is no one in the line or someone that I could hurt with their feelings and she is so strict in her line of principles that she will never accept any suitors if she does not like it so I guess I am so lucky to her and not encounter things that you have mentioned......