Trying to make time for each other...

United States
August 24, 2008 2:45pm CST
My fiance and I never seem to have time to spend with each other now that we have had our second child...We used to love to watch movies and cuddle now it seems we don't even have time to sit down at the same time...Our a baby is 5 months and we also have a 4 year old who has recently become a talker...please help! I need some ideas other than going to a movie because our 45 month old doesn't like leaving my side......
3 responses
• United States
24 Aug 08
Well, this is probably going to sound harsh, and I don't mean it to, but the first step will be getting your old child to stop clinging. I recommend finding a play group (look for other stay at home moms in your area at www.meetup.com if you don't have anyone in mind), and getting your child used to playing with other children. This will increase his indepence and his confidence. Then you try to arrange a trade off - you offer to babysit for a child he's closest with while that child's parents go out, and the next week, those parents do the same. He might be more comfortable staying with a friend. If he doesn't get used to being separated from you now, it will only get worse later - and it won't do you and your fiance any favors if you can't spend couple time together because of your toddler - no offense. If that doesn't work, or while you're waiting for the process to take, arrange one night every one to two week where the two of you stay up together after the kids are in bed for a movie, a romantic dinner, a game - whatever. The two of you absolutely need this time together as a couple, or you will cease becoming a romantic pair and start simply co-existing as parents. So sacrifice an hour or two of sleep every once in a while to get that time together if you can't go out.
• United States
25 Aug 08
Thanx that is great advice..I guess if we could just commit to spending the time..It seems like anytime we get the break we are trying to catch up on things like showers and vacuming...
• United States
25 Aug 08
Oh, honey, I have been there! It gets better - just try not to let it get worse first! That's what happened to us. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3893)
24 Aug 08
Maybe you could get the children up early one morning, make them tired during the day and put them to bed early and then you and your fiance will get a chance to cuddle and watch a film. Or you could start watching a film, you, your partner and your four year old and I am sure the four year old will soon fall asleep and you and your partner will have time together.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 08
I remember we used to to that with our first but now it seems like the rules have changed and I wasn't quite aware that they could just do that or I would have made sure I was better prepared...They say your first child is like the practice child you make all of your mistakes on them, but I think that is only half right.
@gtdonna (1740)
24 Aug 08
Hi, how about getting someone to babysit AFTER your 4 year old is in bed asleep? This way she won't miss you when you take some quality time out. You and your mate do need some me time, also wat about Day Care for her? Have you considered that?
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Aug 08
I don't work..but if she is at daycare he is at work so that doesn't work either..