When do you click "add as a friend"?

@sacmom (14336)
United States
August 25, 2008 1:47am CST
When I first joined Mylot back in February 2007 no one was on my friends list, not even the person that referred me. I wondered why I needed friends on here. Heck, I even denied some people that request my friendship back then. The first time I clicked "add as a friend" on someone's profile was because I had wanted to send them a PM to warn them that there was a very obvious cheater on mylot responding to their discussions. But by the time this person accepted my friendship I had sent the PM too late. They had already known about this person hours ago. Even though I sent the PM for nothing I had my very first "friend" on here. As I learned my way through here I started requesting peoples friendships. Almost 2 years later my friends list has grown to where it is now. And I like having a large group of friends on here. It gives me a better opportunity to find discussions that I am interested in responding to. So when do I click "add as a friend"? I normally request a friendship when 1) someone responds to a discussion of mine or 2) I respond to their's . However I don't always do this. And in the past I have also requested friendships if they have the same interest as me. Unfortunately some of these people never bothered accepting or denying my friendship, so I have several pages of mylotters on my pending friend requests link. So, when do you click "add as a friend"?
18 people like this
69 responses
@chrislotz (8207)
• Canada
28 Aug 08
I don't usually request any bodies friendship, but I do accept invitations from others. The only time I have ever asked someone to be my friend is because I wanted to send them a pm or I wanted them to send me one, and then we start to chat by responding to each others discussions and become true friends. I go through my friends list quite often and delete the ones that aren't active for at least 2 months and the ones that I keep responding to their discussions but I never see any responses from them to mine, because to me that isn't being a friend, when not helping each other and it only being one sided with me helping them and them not returning the favour. So I keep my friends list down to less than 100 so that I can find time to respond to all of their discussions and I manage to do that. I have all of my notify buttons turned on and I respond to the discussions through my email. I never have to search for other discussions because my friends keep be busy with their discussions.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
10 Sep 08
I don't purposely try to be one sided, though sometimes it may look that way. With my life and a slow Internet connection I don't get to respond to as many discussions from those on my friends list as I would like. But to be fair I don't require anyone from my friends list to respond to my discussions.
@Tianna2 (1274)
• United States
27 Aug 08
Hello Sacmom, I usually invite someone to be a friend if I find myself answering enough of their discussions that I might want to make their discussions easier to find or maybe even get notified about them. I mean if you find yourself answering more then a few discussions from the same person, isnt that what makes a friend in the first place. Other times I might answer a discussion from someone and look at their profile and decide that I would like to have that person on my list! Hugs, Tianna
2 people like this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Those are excellent reasons to request someone's friendship on here Tianna2.
@minnie_98214 (10574)
• United States
25 Aug 08
I will usually hit add friend if they are in the same interest group as me or if they just addd a very good response to one of my discussions. I like to have many friends on my list its fun to get many different view points.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I also like getting different view points.
• United States
25 Aug 08
When I add a friend it is because of having the same interests or because I find their discussions interesting. I never add someone just because they responded to one of my discussions.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Aug 08
I add a friend when I enjoy the discussions and want to keep reading what is on their mind. It doesn't always mean I will respond to the discussions. If I add them as a friend, their discussions are easier to get to instead of my trying to remember their names. Lets face it, some of the responses we get require more than one cup of coffee to figure out what they said. Sometimes it takes me awhile to come up with a response. Especially since I am not an early morning person. Late at night, I am much better at it. What I haven't figured out yet, is what the topics are that get everyone responding. Must be why we add a few friends here and there to help get them started. lol
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I know what you mean elaine. Sometimes it takes me a while to come up with a response too. The topics that usually get a lot of responses are ones that anyone can relate to. And yes, it doesn't hurt to have a bunch of friends either!
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
25 Aug 08
I always accept all friend requests here at Mylot. some are active here and some aren't. I hate to deny and friendships. I have only accepted one rude person here who harrassed me via a private message. Some of them have spammed me also but I just delete it without responding.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
26 Aug 08
Did you delete this person that harassed you? Other than this person, is it safe to assume you don't delete anyone off of your friends list, even if they haven't been active for a long time? I don't delete people off my friends list, though I might if I was harassed by someone on here.
• India
25 Aug 08
I usually do not add anyone as friend myself, I only add those who request, so far I have only one friend here. I like good discussions and also like people who participate in these discussions and I think we are all friends in some way because we are participating in a common forum and adding explicitly as friend does not make any big difference.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
25 Aug 08
True, but it is easier to find friends discussions if they are on your list. You should try adding friends that have the same interest as you. It might help make mylot a more enjoyable experience. Just a helpful little tip.
@dhisaw (304)
• United States
25 Aug 08
I actually cant answer that for you. i know for me I have accepted any and all friend requests. I am new here. So I have been just tryngto talk to any and everybody. I like having friends but on here i dont have a great many. So that is why i cant answer that for you.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
25 Aug 08
I'm sure you'll have plenty of mylot friends as time goes by. I hope you are enjoying it here. Welcome to mylot!
@Bluepatch (2481)
• Trinidad And Tobago
25 Aug 08
I ask people to be my friends when I find them interesting. Either through what they write or something like that. Its kind of obvious. If you find somebody interesting then you can ask them to be your friend.
@4aps777 (1528)
• United States
25 Aug 08
i always accept friends but i am waiting on several people to accept me also.
2 people like this
@Raymo23 (466)
• Uganda
25 Aug 08
I like to add as friends people who are different, unusual or people who respond favourably to my discussions. It's hard to break it down, sometimes I just add for the sake. People who have similar interests as mine, for example people who enjoy the English Premier League(football) are all friends coz thats a topic that searingly interests me. But its hard to say when, very hard.
2 people like this
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
27 Aug 08
Thats a very unique way of adding someone on ur friend's list. I usually look for profiles sharing the same interest as of mine and add them as a friend. Or if we belong to the same country, or when someone responds to my discussion(though i hardly start any) or when i respond to someone's discussion and we start talking more and more through that discussion. I may also add up a girl if i find her attractive ..LOL Nevermind, but i think friends are really important over here at mylot. We get to know a lot about them through discussions and postings and it gives us a common medium to talk over. I dont deny anyone sending me a friend request, and moreover adding someone as a friend helps us know whenever they start a new discussion. I have some pending friend requests which i think the people are no longer active over here. Though we both are on each others friend list but we haven't really shared anything common. Neither we do know much about each other. Hope this response of mine will just trigger that process.
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
6 Sep 08
It is? LOL Well I'm glad you think so vipulchawla. So what is it that you would like to know?
1 person likes this
• India
7 Sep 08
Well, nothing in specific. may be we can start with ur name and hobbies. And something like what you do? Where you from?
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
8 Sep 08
I am from the USA. More specifically California. I'm not really comfortable giving my name on here, but I like reading, animals, the Internet (especially mylot), etc. And I am a stay at home mom. So what about you? Care to answer any of these questions you asked me yourself?
1 person likes this
@nickventere (1424)
• Zambia
7 Sep 08
I don't add automatically as I used to any more. Nowadays, I get that friend request, I check their profile and I contact them. They ought to tell me why they want to be friends. After they reply, I add them.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
13 Sep 08
So how do you go about contacting them if they aren't on your friends list? Is it by responding to a discussion/response of theirs?
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
14 Sep 08
And how long do you wait to get a reply before you decide to delete them, if you don't mind my asking?
• Zambia
14 Sep 08
Well, I take into consideration that everyone here is very busy. SO I will wait as much as I can. Sometimes, I take up to a week or even 2 weeks.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
25 Aug 08
[i]I am adding friends if I will see him or her she is active in posting and responding but I also don't reject request, then will observe if the person will drop by in any of my post, I will not expect them to be present in all of my post since I will consider that some will not interest them or they can't relate on it! So, I have a bunch of friends now and 3/4 of them are no longer active! I will give a month to wait! LOl[/i]!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
30 Aug 08
What will happen after a month is up? I have plenty of people on my friends list that haven't been active for longer than that. But I won't delete them due to inactivity. If I became inactive for a lengthy amount of time I sure hope people from my friends list would be understanding and wouldn't delete me. There may be a valid reason why I could not be on here. It wouldn't be fair to get deleted, at least not without some sort of notice first.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Aug 08
[i]Actually, I haven't tried yet but that was the advised given to me by a friend which is I guess valid since for a month or more with no active participation in any of my post, Some of my friends will say something like they will be away this month like that which is great, rather than after approving to be part of my friends and never heard from them even a single response! Well, people have different discretion so it might not be true to you and I respect also your different point of view![/i]
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
31 Aug 08
But what if for some reason your friends on here couldn't get online? For instance, what if they have been involved in a car accident (heaven forbid). They may not be able to let their friends on here know what has become of them. So they get deleted do to inactivity? To me that just isn't right. Okay there could be other reasons why a fellow mylotter hasn't been active on here. But like I said I'm not going to delete people from my friends list because of this.
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I always accept friends, but only some are in my notifications, (though some I am not getting for some reason) and I do go through and delete those who have not signed in for over 6 months..Because 6 months time should give that person some opportunity to alert everyone to what was going on, like they no longer have a computer, then I would keep them as well as those that are in my downline.
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
16 Sep 08
6 months seems pretty reasonable, though I just don't have it in me to delete anyone off of my friends list no matter who long they have been inactive for.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 08
Yes I feel it is reasonable and of course if they did have a problem, like a broken computer or financial problems that they can alert me to, then I would keep them in mind to keep them and not delete them..
1 person likes this
• India
27 Aug 08
whenever i answer any discussion, i put a friend request to the person who has started it. also when i have replies to my discussion, i nearly send friend request to all of them. that way , i have a lot of friends on my lot. i also approve everyone's friend request. i enjoy making more and more number of friends in this site...
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I do too painkiller.
• India
6 Sep 08
great.... similar choices... bye and take care..
1 person likes this
@savypat (20248)
• United States
25 Aug 08
I haven't a clue as to how to ask for a friend of someone who is already a member? Why would I not want someone to be my friend? Help
1 person likes this
@savypat (20248)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Thank you I finally figured that out, so now I have friends to talk to and am enjoying it.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
25 Aug 08
Hi sacmom! I used to request to be added as a friend when I was still a newbie here which was more than a year ago. So many have denied my request and a few were pending. I just deleted those requests I made. haha.. Many mylotters have requested to be added in my list too and have accepted all requests. However, a mylotter friend here advised me not to accept friends' request right away. She advised me to check on their profile first and see on how they respond to discussions if they are rude or could be just nuisance friends. haha..I am now following her advice. Take care always..God Bless!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
29 Aug 08
Hay faith, thanks for sharing the advice you received. I can understand why people should be careful when accepting friend requests on here, but if that were to happen me I'd just delete them immediately as a friend. This is the only way I would ever delete someone from here. But as I have a secondary way of people for people to contact me, most of them usually just do this instead and if they are rude I just ignore their emails.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
29 Aug 08
Hi dear friend! Yes, I do agree with you that it is better to just ignore the rude emails or responses because nothing good will ever come out if we go down their level. lovelots..faith210
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3230)
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
hi congrats for this nice topic...for me i add friends when someone responded to my discussion and whom i think is a good responder, i add when someone is asking my friendship..i add as friend if he/she is from the same country as mine...and for now i dont get that many requests but i do like to have as many friends as possible..well just a thought will it be possible to add almost everyone?i mean can you request all of them?just an experiment but i bet it would be too time consuming...but here is what i found out..the newbies here are a lot friendlier and more active so i add those new users...its like new recruits..hehe.
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
16 Sep 08
I don't know if it would be possible to add everyone as a friend, but you could always try that and see what happens! Though I would have to agree that it would be too time consuming.
• Indonesia
4 Sep 08
in the beginning, i didn't know how to make add a friend on mylot. i don't even know there is 'friendship' here when someone added me as their friend, and i noticed it in the pending request with the 'approve' and 'deny', i had know idea what to do. i even thought that deny is the name of the person. so, when the pending request grows and there was four people on the list, i start wondering why every body is named 'deny' hahah... then, somehow i got insight what to do, like when archimedes screamed 'eureka'. so i start add and add new friends till now. practically i just add friends when i find their avatar anywhere (because they respond my discussion, or i respond her/his discussion, or i find her/him responding the discussion i respond). now i rarely add a new friends, and my list of friend growing depends completely on the others' friendship requests.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14336)
• United States
13 Sep 08
LOL, too funny! Could you imagine how confusing it would be if everyone on here was called that? LOL
1 person likes this