Does your Men stands up for you?

@cmofi123 (344)
United States
August 28, 2008 12:47pm CST
I'm having a huge problem going on and I really need some advice. So please be kind and help out. 1. A couple of months ago my husbands family went over to my house for my son's baptism. While they were there my hus band is asking who does the baby looks like. Out of nowhere his brothere (who is 20 years old) said; "Maybe the kid is not even yours." I expected for my husband to say something but nothinh was sais from his part. After the party I told my husband please say something to your brother that was rude. My hubby said that he didnt hear anything and it took him 2 weeks to say something to his bro and finally his bro apologize. 2. A couple of weeks ago my son was sick, with fever and he had an ear infection and congestion. My mom is the one who takes care of him unfortunately my mom had cancer and she receives chemo every other week. When she receives chemo she takes it for 3 days in the hospital. Oh well long story short, we took him to my hubbys mom. When she realized that the baby was sick she said, "You guys are going to pick him up early right, because his sick and he only wants to be hug." She said this infront of my husband and I. The next day that we took him same thing. Now that the baby is ok, my husband wants to take him to his mom. I said no. Your mom is not going to babysit him, because when we needed a favor (and she wasnt doing it for free) she was rude and made it seem as if she didn;t want the baby there. Now my husband is saying that he wasn't paying attention when his mom said that. I feel as if he doesn't want to stand up for me or the baby. Last night we had this conversation (we talk we don't scream or anything) and I started it crying because he was there when his mom said that. I'm not asking him to be rude to his family all I want is respect, but yet he asking me to forget about it. What do you guys think.
2 responses
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
28 Aug 08
Some men think it's easier to deal with the wife than it would be to say something in defense of her to another family member.I personally think this is wrong. Took my husband a long time to flat out say something to a sister. He's always been a very kind person and he'd always tell me they were crazy in what they said or did and for me not to pay attention to them. He wasn't going to. But, one day, he got his fill and said something. That shut her up, but she'll still say little slight remarks that she thinks go undetected by us, but it doesn't! She even threw one at my daughter-in-law's baby shower a few months ago. I told my husband what she said about our son, and he told me that she was still mad at him because he wouldn't do something for her and she was taking it out that way. I just consider the source and go on. If you can't do anything about it, don't let it bother you. You know your husband loves you and the baby; he just has a hard time facing others about things they say, especially family.
@cmofi123 (344)
• United States
28 Aug 08
I have though of that, just let it go but I have a mirror infront of my face. My mother went trough the same thing and not to have any problems with my dad, shw will act as if she didn't care. When she try to defend her self it was too late. My dads family went against her and they made up a lie (they took a pic of a woman that looked like my mom with another man) they show that picture to my dad and they told him that my mom was cheating on him. My dad beat up my mom severly. Until one day my mom was able to prove them wrong but even then my dad has always side his family and at some points they have insulted me and he doesnt defend me either. That's the reason why i want to put my foot down since point one.
• United States
28 Aug 08
You are his wife. You come first. He should stand up to his family. He doesn't have to be rude but if they are rude to you... what would it matter saying something back? My husband is ALWAYS bickering with his family about being nicer to me and doesn't let anything slide. And he is NOT the confrontation type. I really do think he should stand up for you. That just wouldn't cut it for me.