What Would You Do? (Miss MY Friend)

@Chevee (5915)
United States
August 30, 2008 12:57pm CST
In this case what would you do? You have a friend and you really like this friends company but you are separated from the friend and the only communication is through phone conversations (this is a friendship not relationship) you are always the one to make the call to keep in touch, the friend always happy to hear from you but never picks up the phone to call you. I have a friend I used to work with she got laid off, I miss her friendship I always call her and she seems happy to hear from me but she never picks up the phone to call me I always have to call her. I am the type of person that if you never call me I in time stop calling you. How would you handle this situation?
2 people like this
16 responses
@pking0 (18)
• United States
30 Aug 08
Well, I would suggest: Next time you call this friend, say something like "Hey _____, umm...so what's up? Blah Blah Blah...Umm...well I was wondering, why don't you call me back sometimes? It seems that I'm always the one calling you, and it would just be nice to hear from you since we have been seperated(or something like that) from each other. I like to hear your voice, and it gives me comfort to hear you, as you have been my friend for many years now" Well, I don't really know, but something like this, also, make sure that if you use this, to say it in a very polite and nice manor *depending on how your friend is* Hope this helps! (Also, I wish the best of luck to you and your friendship, as I to have a friend that moved away...)
1 person likes this
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
30 Aug 08
Thank you.. I thought of that. I wish she would call on her own. I just wonder why she doesn't? I guess I could ask her that too.
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
30 Aug 08
I would eventually stop calling her at all and see if she chose to call me to see what was wrong.. I will go out of my way to make an effort but I will not let something go on that is completely one-sided such as this.. Give her a chance to give you a call before you call her back and then see what happens.. I don't care for one sided relationships, it is not fair to you to be in one either..
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
30 Aug 08
That is exactly the way I feel. I am presently doing that now.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
3 Sep 08
[i]Hi Chevee, Maybe she is hesitant to give you a ring, I am like that sometimes with my friends especially if after work because I know they want to rest or maybe needs time to be with their husband...So, I will call less but when I got their call, I will be happy also but there are times when I can't talk longer because I need to prepare breakfast something like that so, what we are doing is to set a time wherein everyone of us is free to have a long conversation![/i]
@quinnkl (1668)
• United States
3 Sep 08
If she was laid off maybe she is counting pennies... is it long distance to call you? If so that may be the problem. But if not, you might find a subtle way to mention that she never calls you and you would love to hear from her.
@NYANJURU (57)
• Kenya
1 Sep 08
She is not your friend. simple as that! if you are the one who keeps calling her and she does not miss you enough to pick up the phone to know how you are, forget about her. Or maybe you feel more strongly about what you shared during your friendship than she did and now that you are apart, it is out of site, out of mind.
• United States
1 Sep 08
I have a friendship similar to this, but I'm the one that never calls. I always enjoy hearing from my friend, but our lives have gone in different directions and it becomes hard to think of things to talk about. When she calls or comes over, we get caught up, but that's about the extent of our conversation. Maybe that's what it is with your friend. Since you no longer work together, perhaps she's moving on with her life in a different direction.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
31 Aug 08
Hey Sweetie, I know what you are saying. I'm where you are, but I'm also where your friends are. The worst part for me is that my closest friends all have Verizon as well as me. Which means it doesn't cost a dime. This is the reality of the situation. I love hearing from my friends and family, whether it be by phone or email. If I get an email, then I return it. If I send them one they return it. If we don't work together every day then we get so busy with our own lives that we unfortunately tend to neglect our friends and family. I really don't think that your friends not making the call first reflects on their frienship (relationship)with you. I genuinly love my friends and often neglect making that connection due to life in my little world. Every once in a while I surprise them or they surprise me with a phone call. More often we send jokes back and forth and add a little message. My twin and I call each other on a regular basis because we have this need to be connected. Our twinness won't allow us to go too long without talking to each other. We are two parts of a whole and can't seem to survive without connection. I don't think the measure of a true friend is how often they call or write but that they connect at some point no matter who initiates it. If you feel better backinf off, then by all means, back off for a while. But Honey, never throw your friends away unless they betray you.xoxoxo leenie
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
31 Aug 08
maybe ur friend is either cheap or too poor to afford to call and be charged for the phone bill. so if u like her suggest to write letters instead, chat by emails, or maybe chat on messenger chats. cheaper alternatives to keep in contact with friends.
@mayka123 (10756)
• India
31 Aug 08
I have a very good friend who though he stays in the same city as me we have not been able to meet for over a year. We phone each other everyday. When I want to tell him something I just pick the phone and call him up. Quite often if he is busy he does not pick up the phone. And sometimes forgets to call me back. I ofcourse fight with him later but then we forget about it. I usually stop calling friends if they dont respond to my calls but this friend is special and he knows how to handle me I think.
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 08
i always call,if i miss them, and sometimes we meet each other with another friend.
@bunnybon7 (37157)
• Holiday, Florida
31 Aug 08
a lot depends on if she has to pay for calls. she may not be able to afford it.
@ganda8831 (816)
• Philippines
31 Aug 08
Continue being a friend and call her if you feel like calling her. Pride has no place in a friendship. In your case, it doesnt matter who calls. Maybe your friend is just busy or she has lots of problems that's why she doesnt have time to call you. Sometimes Im like that. I forget to call my friends because Im so busy and I have many things on my mind.
@hiddenwing (3721)
• China
31 Aug 08
Me too! If I message some friends, and they ignore it, I will deliete their numbers so that I won't get in tough with them until they call back. If I changed my number after I deliete someone, they will never hear from me and vice verse unless they ask about from other friends. Besides, my best of the best friend went back to korean, it is much worse than we are in different provinces. It hurts! But the world is still so big, we don't even have a choice!
@monkeysay (228)
• Singapore
31 Aug 08
Well my guess is that your friend is not someone who will initiate a conversation. It doesn't mean she doesn't value friendships, it just means that she may be shy about just calling you for apparently no reason. However I'm sure she appreciates you trying to maintain the friendship. Keep it up, a good friendship is worth maintaining.
30 Aug 08
Hi Chevee, Yes I had a firend I grew in school with we were friends until she got married and we see a lot of each other even ater I got married I was her when she had her first son and then a few years later she had a daughter, we spent a lot of time together snd then I kept calling her on the phone and each time she would say I'm busy at the moment I'll ring you back but she never would would so I stoped cxalling her and now we only send Christmas cards to each other, I have not seen her for over ten years. Huggs Tamara
@bunzor (303)
30 Aug 08
I went through the exact same thing with my 'best friend' a couple of years ago. I was always the one to call her up and make arrangements to meet up with her. I basically got sick and tired of being the only one putting effort into keeping the friendship alive so I stopped calling her. It's a shame because she was a great girl, but I don't want uneven friendships where I seem to be the only one who cares. I hope things work out for you though :)