Meeting an online friend in real life

@mayka123 (9549)
India
September 1, 2008 3:18am CST
I am quite an introvert in real life. Do not make friends very easily. And this includes both boys and girls. But I chat a lot with friends online. I dont know the reason for this but I have found that I am more comfortable talking to friends online than in real life. I sometimes wonder if I have to meet my online friends then would I be able to talk to them with the same comfort that I have been chatting with them online. Will I be able to open up to them as easily as I have on the net? Would the comfort that was present online be there in real life as well? Are you the same in your talks both online and in real life? Or like me you are more comfortable talking to people online than in real life? Have you had any experience meeting your online friends? If so how was the initial meetings?
12 people like this
54 responses
@dpk262006 (52503)
• Delhi, India
1 Sep 08
I think it is your unfounded notion and thin fears and apperehensions that if you happen to meet any of your on-line friends, you won't be comfortable and would not behave in the same manner. I assume that you would be more than comfortable if you happen to meet any of your on-line friends (depending upon your level of intimacy of your friend). As far as I am concerned, I am the same person either '0n-line' or in 'real life'. If I happen to meet any of my on-line friends, my attitude and behaviour would exactly be the same, as it is on the 'net'. It'll be difficult to assess for the other fellow - whether there is any slightest difference between my 'on-line' attitude/behaviour and in my real persona. I'll surely behave in the same manner, as I behave here and it will be a great fun meeting someone, whom I know through Mylot or through any other site. Again, at the cost of repeating, I'll say that I'll meet that person only with whom I could establish 'good rapport' on-line.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
2 Sep 08
This is no notion of mine. Its just that I hardly talk to my friends in real life but I seem to be enjoying chatting with friends online. I have established a good rapport with some friends online and I sometimes wonder whether I will be able to talk to them in the same manner as I chat with them on the net.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (52503)
• Delhi, India
3 Sep 08
My assessment is - You would able to talk to those in real life too, with whom you are comfortable talking on-line.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
9 Sep 08
When I do meet a friend will surely let you know the outcome.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
1 Sep 08
Wow what a discussion well i agree with u a lot, i dont think so u can be THAT open in real life sas u r on NEt So i would say, That Friends think alike, so i am almost like U And i have not met my online friend even who lived in Pakistan, And not sure how would be first meerting i can only comment after first meeting Ok
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
1 Sep 08
From the few months that I have known you here on mylot and on gmail/hotmail I dont think you would be a shy person to talk to. So I look forward to getting a reply from you when you meet your first online friend. I am sure you will share the experience with your friends.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
1 Sep 08
Hmmmm Acha jeee kia baat hea i dod not say that i wont talk at all, i said i wont be open And sure i will let u know when i will meet any of my online friend Take care
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
1 Sep 08
Ok. Since you said you are like me I thought you would not talk at all because I would not be able to talk much. Anxiously waiting to hear about your first experience.
1 person likes this
@sang2k2 (1834)
• India
1 Sep 08
yeh i have met afew friends whom i had a chat with n talked over the phone..i am a bit hesistant firstly but later the raapo builds the same as i share it on the net..on chats or talks.
2 people like this
@sang2k2 (1834)
• India
1 Sep 08
ihavent always met ggod poeple online only out of say 100 i have met 5 of them genuine...rest all are dirt bags which has stopped me trusting on things like this n making new friends online...out of all of them i have till date only one friend thru online chats whose the been with me till date as afriend.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
16 Sep 08
Its good that you have one online friend whom you feel you can trust. Well I think that should be two now.....I am more comfortable just chatting online...but I guess we should not trust them too much...
@sang2k2 (1834)
• India
17 Sep 08
it as increased to 2 now :)thanks
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I am in the dance business so belong to sites that are dance related. I have met several people in the dance business, from all over. It's cool to get to know people on line and then meet them. My sister takes many cruises with her husband and she goes on cruise message boards. She has made friends on there and they cruise together. The internet can be fun and dangerous so I am always cautious to get solid information on people before meeting them. I found that I had the same ease of talking with them in person as on line.
2 people like this
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
2 Sep 08
Oh, just to interject another thought, I am such an extrovert!! LOL
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@mayka123 (9549)
• India
29 Sep 08
Dance is something that I just love watching. In fact I make it a point to watch all the dance related programmes on television. Its true the internet can be fun and dangerous. I am very careful while giving out personal infomation and put a stop to the friendship when someone starts poking around too much. I have started talking to a couple of my online friends on phone and find myself at ease while talking on phone.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I am careful, too. Anyone I have met, I have met away from where I live and, unless they are colleagues in the business, that's as far as it gets. The dance world is a small one and many people know each other, so it's a little different. On sites, such as this, I am extremely careful.
1 person likes this
@jinxky (2251)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
what you see is what you get! that's me. if i'm bubbly or funny online, expect that i'm more in real! lol i'm the joker in our family & circle of friends hehehe.. my friends told me that there's no dull moments when they are with me & i'm very flattered for that coz they can appreciate me well i experienced meeting chatmates/textmates in real, we became friends & one of them is my ex bf lol don't ask m what happened coz we didn't end well..
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
2 Sep 08
I have a good time with friends whom I have known for a long time. But very difficult to communicate with new friends. In fact some time back one of my online friends phoned me up and I could hardly talk to him. I was just stuck for words at that moment. So I am wondering if I have to meet him face to face what will happen.
@jinxky (2251)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
we'll never know how confident we are unless you meet the person face to face. i remember before when the clanmates had a reunion, of course i attended it just like what i have said, if i'm bubbly online then im also bubbly in real. we really had a great time & coz we meet them in person & especially meet new friends :)
2 people like this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
1 Sep 08
i am also quite shy and do not open up so easily.i talk a lot online but i am not quite keen on meeting online friends.i have not met any of my online friends but theres a chance i might do so in near future.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
2 Sep 08
So whom do you plan to meet soon? Someone from mylot or another friend? Like to share with us here?
1 person likes this
@thestar (305)
• Egypt
9 Sep 08
same thing here with me i don't trust in ppl very fast i like to know them first for along time to start to trust on them than love one of them my ex gf was very nice person we was engaged but his father insist on making her married her cousin and we couldn't do a lot front of her father wishes he was ailing and we were worried about him so we applied his wishes
1 person likes this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I am a blabber mouth so I talk just as much offline as I do online. The only real difference for me is when I first meet someone face to face I am rather reserved where as when online most of the time I do not have a problem with saying hello and then sharing things about myself right away. I have met a countless amount of people face to face that I was only met from chatting online. Right before I met the first person (so many years ago) I wondered the same thing about if talking to them face to face was going to be as comfortable. I really didn't think it was going to be but after the first few minutes it was very comfortable, felt like we had always been friends. Now when I meet someone from online it is like seeing someone I have not seen in years.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
29 Sep 08
When we meet someone online we picture something about them at the back of our minds. How was your experience meeting these online friends...were they the same as you thought them to be? Were they as genuine as they pictured themselves?
@newtondak (3950)
• United States
2 Sep 08
I don't know if I am comfortable progressing with online relationships enough tomeet personally. For now, I prefer to keep the online aspect of my life separate from my actual personal life.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
29 Sep 08
Its right to be keeping our online life away from our personal life but sometimes we do meet someone whom we would want to meet. Some people do get a bit more close to us than the others.
@gemini_rose (16194)
2 Sep 08
Like you I find it hard to make friends easily, but also I have come to realise that I am a loner when it comes to friends. Although when alone I get the odd pangs of boredom and loneliness if I have someone with me I find I get irritated and want to be alone!! So I guess that having friends online is just a lot easier than in my day to day life because I can be on my own but still have a chat if I need too. If that makes sense!
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
29 Sep 08
At times I too like to be alone and do not like anyone intruding my privacy. But I find it sometimes fun chatting with friends online and also it has become like a stressbuster for me. I find myself opening to a lot of friends online. But in real life I am not at all like that.
@Verity (851)
2 Sep 08
I am an introvert, too! I am very choosy in making friends particularly to men. I have also some friends online and those who have been known to me for quite some times, I considered them as my quality friends since they already knew my attitude, character, behavior much more my stands. If any of them would meet me in real life, what they have known to my person while we were online, it would be the same, the only difference is that, you would now see him personally and physically with mixed emotions, feared that he is not the person that meets your standards, vice versa.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
2 Sep 08
I think I am quite different in real life than what I am online. Online I have been chatting a lot with friends but I do not talk so much to my real friends. So sometimes an online friend may get a bit disappointed to see me so quiet when we meet.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
1 Sep 08
In real live we talk to friend directly, we can see his/her eyes, her act , any thing we can see. It can make our emotion became flare up. that's way, talk to online friends more confortable than talk with offline friends. In online friends, we do not see his/her action , except you talk with web camera.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
27 Sep 08
You are right when you say that when we are face to face we see each others reactions and tend to flare up. I chat with a couple of friends on the webcam and found it quite interesting. But I am more comfortable chatting without the webcam.
• Nepal
1 Sep 08
No I don't believe in the online friends and never tried it so I am sorry to say no. But I listened lots of gossips from my friend and other too. Some has been married too. But I think there is lack of understanding between them.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
18 Sep 08
There is lack of understanding even between couples who have been meeting each other everyday an dating for years. A lot of these online friendships and marriages have succeeded. Ofcourse there are a lot of people who also cheat others and give wrong details about themselves so all have to be careful.
@valeria1 (2724)
• United States
1 Sep 08
I think if they are the same as they are online, meaning their minds, that would be the same. I am married to one, I met him an year ago in Second Life and today we are married. Another friend from Netherlands is coming to visit, also met him in Second Life!
2 people like this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
12 Sep 08
What is this Second Life? A chat site? All the best to you for your married life. Have come across many on mylot who have met on the net and have eventually got married.
@chej18 (915)
• United States
1 Sep 08
hi Mayka,I was same as you before,after my friends treated me bad and breaked-up w/ my ex-bf i been very far to make new friends again.I dont want to go out.I sit alway infront of computer chatting.I meet a lot of friends on net infact i meet my man also in net.I am very comfortable chatting and telling everything to him.We started as friend and we chat almost 8 to 12 a days.I owned internet caffe in philippines so my life is on computer. He visited me there 2003 he stayed in my apartment for 3 months.I though i am gonna be shy at him but i did'nt. We talked the same as we talking on net.He knows everything about me and i know everything about him.i been almost 5 years w/ my ex-bf and i chatted w/ him for almost 4 months and i been more comfortable w/ him than my ex. When he told me that he is coming in Philippines to visit me.i feel like a kinda shy and dont meet him in personal.But i was to worried that if i am not going to meet him that it will be my responsible because his parents know that he will come to see me and i am worried that there is something terrible happen to him.So i decided to meet him anyway.. And now we are together w/ almost 6 years already. Have a nice day!tc che
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
13 Sep 08
Good that you and your b/f finally got together. All the best to you and may you live a lot many years together.
@ellie333 (21029)
1 Sep 08
Hi Mayka123, I have been lucky enough to meet two of my real life friends here from myLot and I and they were exactly as we would be online and he meetings were wonderful. I truly feel blessed in having been able to meet these people for real. I guess I was a little more reserved for the first few minutes but was immediately at ease and comfortable and the conversation just flowed as it would on here. I do understand though that some people who are quite shy may find it difficult to meet people for the first time, but I would recommend if you can as I think you will find it an amazing experience. However, I would suggest to meet in a public place initally as some people online are not what they seem but I think myLot is different from some other social sites. Ellie :D
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
1 Sep 08
Thanks a lot for your response. At present I have not plans of meeting any of my online friends but this thought just came to mind while talking to a friend online this weekend. I would be most pleased to meet some of my mylot friends. I think I too would be too reserved at first to talk to them.
1 person likes this
@TheCatLady (4696)
• Israel
2 Sep 08
I've met quite a few. I'm myself on line. I'm just a middle aged American transplanted cat lover. Nothing that unusual, nothing to hide. I'm me.
2 people like this
@rkrish (3003)
• India
9 Sep 08
I always frank and open type, speaks faster before i stop thinking. I too chat with more friends online but only known friend who are very true and loyal in making friendship..but here is the first time in mylot i am chatting with unknown but the responses makes to feel great about them... I am sure will meet somebody here in my life...I always dream and I will make it happen... Can we meet in real life....I am ok! What you say my friend ! (I have not planned to ask like this when i started typing but it made me so not in the intention of pulling you but really i felt)
1 person likes this
@rkrish (3003)
• India
9 Sep 08
One more to add... But i think when we meet online friends the real photos to be shared before they meet if not it seems to be very strange not would not be a cool one.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
9 Sep 08
At present I have no plans of meeting any of my online friends but would surely not mind meeting you i.e. if you every come to Mumbai. Because I have no plans of coming down south for the next couple of years atleast. And that too if you are as cute as this baby here in your avtaar!
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
9 Sep 08
And yes, my real photo is here in my avtaar.
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
14 Jun 09
meeting online friends in real life...... Hey Mayka, no I have not met any online friends in real life but I do enjoy talking online to friends. In real life I'm not really shy and I enjoy talking to people there too. But online it seems that we can reveal more and feel somewhat safe in what we choose to say to our online friends. thanks for posting this discussion, have a great day friend! Please add me as a friend.Thanks in advance.
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
18 Jun 09
I have been communicating with a lot of my online friends through phone or through gmail. I am able to communicate better online rather than in real life. It may be because I am not able to see the person or see their reactions or them seeing my reactions. Thanks for accepting my friend request.
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Hello Mayka, you are welcomed. As for chatting with friends online I think that there is a bit of mystery to it, I guess that is the reason why I like it. Besides it's very convenient for me and the fact that I can't see them help eliminate akward moments. Such as in real life we all know that there are very few people that would agree with everything that we said, not unless it was a person that liked us an awfully whole lot. But online I find that people are more agreeable so that is the thing that one must be most careful about when meeting and talking to people online. Besides most of them will only tell us what they think we want to hear. Talking with them over the phone will give you a slightly better edge but I'm not ready to take it that far yet. I'm fine with just talking to them online. Take care and have a great day and I'm happy to be your friend.
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
18 Jun 09
BTW, if you want to ever break out of your introvert ways, you will have to keep putting yourself out there in front of people. That is the only way that you will ever become totally comfortable with them. I used to be alot shyer than what I am now. I think it helped simply by working around people. Sometimes you need to try to think what is the worst that can happen if you put yourself out there. Happy Mylot.
@robert19ph (4586)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
[i]Hello mayka123, I am also an introvert in real life. It's a bit different in real and on the internet. I am quiet guy and don't talk much in real life. I have so many thing in my mind and I don't usually say them alound in real life. I am more of a listener than a talker in real life. Online it's a bit different because you have to say something to communicate and so I can open up what's inside me that I don't usually just blurt out when I am when somebody. I think you will be fine meeting someone online. You have open up already and face to face meeting will not be a problem. More or less you know each other well and can understand each other when you meet. The important thing is you already made the first step online and meeting in real life is the next step. Regards. [/i]
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
4 Sep 08
I too am a listener in real life. But online I found that I have been talking quite a lot. So naturally the people whom I chat with online would be expecting me to talk a lot with them. And once when I spoke on phone to an online friend I just went blank and did not know what to say!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
[i]Hello mayka123, So what did your friend say? Were you able to talk? Did he/she initiated the conversion? Maybe it's good to tell them that you don't talk very much in real life so they'll know what to expect. Good luck. [/i]
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
5 Sep 08
He had called me up. And the next day I told him that I was not able to talk much as it was our first conversation and I was a bit nervous when talking to him. He has not called me up after that but we chat online everyday.
@guybrush (4662)
• Australia
2 Sep 08
I'm fairly insular too, mayka - but there are some online friends I'd love to meet one day! I feel as if I know one in particular very well already, and it would be lovely to sit down with her in the flesh and share coffee and cakes and have a good old laugh together. Hopefully one day it will happen!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
2 Sep 08
All the best to you and hope you meet your favourite online friend soon. Have you made any plans to meet her or are you just hoping just now?
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4662)
• Australia
2 Sep 08
We haven't made plans, but we're within about an hour's flight from eachother - so maybe one day I'll be heading up the coast for some reason and will be able to see her! You never know.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (9549)
• India
27 Sep 08
I surely hope you meet her one day and then share the experience here on mylot. Will look forward to that discussion. Till then happy posting.