parenting style.

yes it depends on u how u handle your children....you should be telling them what s wrong an what is right ....but u should not be that much strict as your father was. I m sorry i am getting bit negative about your father but what i can make out about him it reveals that he acted as an military dictator for his children which defintly created a terror in his children which was not right on his part .....so please u should be telling your child what s wrong in life in a bit strict manner ( i hope u understand it doesn't means u should be harsh on him or her like your father was but at the same time u should be very loving to him or her because that will only make him or her grow personnaly or professionaly in life.. an u must tell them what s wrong but if they don't understand please be strict ....obviously u r getting strict for their bright future only but it should not be that much strict to creat a terror in them....i hope u understand what i mean to say ........

I think I was fortunate that my mother was a teacher. She wasn't such a good mother, but I thought that a teacher/student type of relationship with a child is a good way to raise them. Children are like little sponges, just waiting to soak up information. If you supply that information, they will retain it forever. I taught my children everything they wanted to learn or, if I didn't know a particular thing, I would help them to find a way to learn. I let them know that I was always there for them; to guide them, to assist them, to listen to them. Children need to know that they have a parent who will always be there for whatever their needs may be. Being consistent is MAJOR! Children need consistency and limits. They will test their limits simply because it is instinctive to see where their borders are. You have to stand firm and always explain WHY the limits are there. Explaining things to children is also very important. They need rules and limits, but they also need to understand WHY they are there. I let my children know, from an early age, that if they believed I was wrong about something, they could tell me and we would sit down and discuss it. They would tell me why they thought it was wrong and I would explain why I thought it was right. Parents are also human and capable of making mistakes. Getting angry at a child never works. Forcing them to behave in a very rigid way doesn't work, either. Children need to grow and expand. They need to be allowed to make decisions and then learn from their own mistakes. Teach them, guide them, allow them room to expand but let them know that you are always there for them. A good, strong, solid foundation leads to a very stable and secure adult. My children are now grown and are very capable and confident. They still call me if they need advice or reassurance. We are still very close because they know I love them and have always done my best for them.

You can't raise a child being their 'friend', if you do they will not listen to you when you do reprimand them for something. You also can't be too strict, many times this causes rebellion when they get to be teenagers, and they get into more trouble because of it. I was somewhat strict with my daughters, I did set limits, and it is okay to tell a child 'no'. I allowed them certain priviledges at different ages, and I trusted them, if or until, they ever gave me a reason not too, then they had to gain that trust back. It does not hurt a child, and is not child abuse to swat their behind when they are young. Just keep in mind that you are the parent, at whatever age the child is, and you have the final say so. And keep in mind too that no means no, if you give in, the child will know that and they will learn they can get their way every time. My daughters are now 26 and 19 and we are friends, they can talk to me about anything, and they know that. That is important, always keep the lines of communication open, let them know it is okay to discuss things with you, no matter what it is. I now live 1600 miles from my youngest and 300 miles from my oldest, but we talk on the phone 2-3 times a week.

I have children and I treat them as adults meaning I don't look down on them or treat them childishly. I respect their opinions and I always explain why I do things. There is no perfect way to raise children but I just do my best and give them all the love they need along with guidance. Cheers!!

I think when attempting to be a friend for your child it is important to understand the nature of the friendship.Children desire friends who can be trusted,to share their thoughts and feeling sensitively,and they demand loyalty from them.They also expect that friends will not criticize them,well this the hardest part.