Is it important to have your love validated?

Malaysia
September 2, 2008 4:31am CST
Hey there, I had a discussion with one of my friends and she said that it is important for girls to hear it from a guy that he actually loves her becauseall the signs that he may have given her may not be what she interpret it to be so it's very important that she try to make the boy actually say, 'I Love you' to the girl. I always thought that as long as you know that the boy loves you then it is enough and maybe the boy needs time to actually find the right moment to confess his feelings for her so a girl should not pressure the boy too much. WHat do you guys think?
4 people like this
8 responses
@intimate36 (1416)
• Pakistan
3 Sep 08
Hello dear...it is a nice topic..and it took me into my past years. You see , it depends , from person to person...and from generation to generation...and to some extend ...culture to culture.. Now a days , when you look around...you see " LOVE " is instant and disposable.I don't want to hurt anybody , there are people in this age who love some one , from depth of their HEARTS. When I was of your age ,and I met my LOVE ( she is my life partner now) ..we always use to speak through EYES.I don't remember ,I had told her I LOVE YOU...May be because , I am more practical , and less emotional.And believe in deed than words....
2 people like this
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
You mean you don't say it too often but you still did things to say 'i love you'. I guess it is practical like you said but the girl might feel some doubt. I don't know. Depends on the girl.
• Pakistan
3 Sep 08
I have mentioned previously ,"it depends, from person to person.." ( or from girl to girl ).I agree...She has a lot of trust in me...we both trust each other...
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Yup.. I guess it's a matter of trust and if there is a great amount of trust between both parties than words aren't necessary.
• Indonesia
2 Sep 08
I think it's important sometimes, especially if it has been a long relationship. You never know what other people think, not even our loved ones. So to have them say things like that once in a while really could make us feel secured, if their honest anyway Happy mylotting and have a nice day!!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Yes, I agree but actually the relationship is not yet established. Should a girl make the boy confess after clear signs that he likes her?
• United States
3 Sep 08
YES! If a girl says, "I love you" to a guy, and vice-versa, then that person better say it back because if that person does not feel the same way then you need to stop wasting your time with them. When I told my boyfriend that I first loved him, you better believe that I wanted a response back. If it was an "I love you, too" or just "I love you", then I knew to move forward with him, if I did not hear it at all, or if I heard a "no", then I knew to quit wasting my time. I was not pressuring him, I just wanted to make sure that he was the one, but heck, I knew that the minute I met him or I would not have said it, and he knew it the moment he met me. Believe it or not, love does happen, and it happens when you are not seeing it coming. I never, ever, thought that I would ever fall in love, and I had never said "I love you" to anyone before I met my boyfriend. I had been on plenty of dates and met many of men who just were not the right ones for me. I knew that when my boyfriend walk through the door and smiled at me that he was the one. My heart really felt like it was going to leap out of my chest that day.
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Wow, thanks for sharing your wonderful experience with love!! I wish it would happen to me too ^^. It's cute that you were the one saying it first to your boyfriend. I guess times are definitely changing.^^
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Yes.. I have a lot of friends like that too... But most of them give so much clear signs to the guy and flirt excessively and give so many read-between-the-lines statements to the guy so that the guy will finally confess.. It's very rare that I hear a girl give out the first three words first.. But, what you said is very true.. I see your point..
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Sep 08
Well, most guys I know, do not take hints, or like I have said, most guys are told never to express their feelings, so the women usually have to be the ones to tell the men that they love them, or otherwise, the men will never get the message. It is rare for me to ever hear a man say "I love you" to woman first. Most women have told me that they have had to do it because their men were never going to say it. Of course, how you say means everything too. I said it all in writing. My boyfriend knows that I love to express myself in my writing, and that if I were ever going to tell him how I truly felt, it would be in writing first. I always had a pen and paper in hand when I was next to him.
@jeanchia (138)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
your friend is right! even tho you know yr partner love you, it is always good to hear him confessing his love to you. I've been with my darling of 7 years and these three words are still on our lips. We say it each others every day. And it is always a joy to hear him say those three words! :)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Awww... so romantic.. Thanks for sharing.. 7 years is long... Congratz..
@jeanchia (138)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
thanks! ^^ how about you? Hv u found yr other half?
• Malaysia
4 Sep 08
yes but it's very hard for me to make him say, 'I love you'. He is a complex yet beautiful person.^^
@nengs10 (3189)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
As many would say, actions speak louder than words. Love shown in actions seem really affectionate and heartfelt. But for people who like to be told, I love you, by their partners, it's also good. That's just a way for them to validate it. Above all, once trust and faith are there, there'll be no problem.
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Hmmm... In my religion, we have to mention 'God is Great' in our prayers everytime we pray. I sometimes say it automatically. I think love is like religion. You need to say it and mean it all the time.
@subha12 (18462)
• India
3 Sep 08
it depends on the person.some think that it is always necessary when the partner admit it clearly rather than any sign. some say they can learn from signs,.
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Hmmm.. I wish all the signs are correctly read though. ^^
@cottonm (753)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
hmmmm, as for me, i love to hear that too...but i dont like it come out very often, i mean it has 2 b the right time and right place, and that three words : I love u, will make me feel secure and being loved ^_^
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Yes. Saying it repetitively might make the words meaningless. I guess less is more. ^^
@potrish78 (742)
• Philippines
2 Sep 08
Sometimes, we are blinded by our own judgment. More often than not if we like a guy so much, every single thing that he does for you will have a meaning. What if it was just "us" girls giving meaning to it? I think it is important for a woman to hear it to a guy first before embracing the thought that he really is into you. I had a friend whom I really really liked. We are classmates back in college and he was my ultimate crush then. We bumped into each other after 13 years and he treated special. He texts me to say good morning, he calls to tell me his whereabouts, and he says goodnight every single night for the past two months. Even my male friends are telling me that he really is into me. They said "no guy would exert so much effort to say good morning and good night everyday, plus the fact that he always tells you his whereabouts." But apparently we are all wrong about this. I made a joke one time asking him "you are falling for me, aren't you?". well, it wasn't really a joke but I made it look like a joke so that won't look stupid if I'd be rejected. And true enough after that joke he started to back off a little. So I think it really is very important if you know the guy's real intention before you assume that what you feel or see is real.
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
Thanks for sharing your experience!! Really appreciate it.. Yes I agree that we could be wrong about other people's feelings for us. There are some cases where a boy gets hated because he is too flirty or too friendly as a girl may misinterperet it.
1 person likes this