what to do with nosy neighbors

@kayedanda (1850)
Philippines
September 3, 2008 9:44am CST
i swear meddlesome neighbors upsets the tranquility of living here in this beautiful city. we're the type of family who does not go out often to socialize with the neighbors, so we are naturally prone to being the ones gossiped about by nosy next-door individuals. i usually don't care, they can gossip about us until they turn to stone but this has got to stop sometime. i have not made any action about this before so i would not know how to deal with the situation. i was hoping you people can help me out. have you had such neighbors? did you do anything about it? if so, what do you think i should do?
7 people like this
23 responses
@gabbana (1815)
• China
3 Sep 08
i'd like to tell you a different story-- i was regarded as a noisy neighbour, and what they did to me. The fact is i stay at my room very quietly, even don't make a move , let alone making any noisy. But my neighbour downstairs complained to my mom. Finally i find out it was my computer ! when it is working, it make a little sound but since it is put almost on the ground, that sound was heard by them. so, ...i was wronged.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Sep 08
When I first moved into my little studio condo apartment it was very peaceful. A year and half later, these noisy people moved in upstairs, I've had to deal with their constant stomping/walking around and arguments for one and a half years. We have building security but it is really hard to report 'noise' making it quite difficult to have them reported for noise disturbance. Not much you can do, but try to deal with them. Luckily and finally I am moving out of that place so no more waking up at 2am to a loud thump noise radiating through my ceiling from them!
@Hatley (164629)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Sep 08
hi just wanted to say we had the oppposite experience, we just had to breath hard and the downstairs neighbor from hell was bashing on the ceiling with a broom. you people downstairs forget that old apartment buildings have floors that squeak just by walking on them, and walls paper thin, thus it is not the people above you fault at all, but the owner of these shoddy apt buildings and the manager, how are the people going to get around their home if they do not walk? fly? give me a break. now arguments that is different but to be penalized for living on noisy floors and having thin walls is damned insulting to my way of thinking.wait until you have to live upstairs and some idiot downstairs bangs on your ceiling because you walked into your bathroom. see how you like it?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Sep 08
My first question is, why do you not socialize with them? Are you just a busy family, or do you prefer not to socialize? Whatever the case may be, you should let them get to know you, and your family. Make a point to say hello, or wave when you are out and see one of them. If they get to know you , they will realize that you are not what they thought, and the gossips will turn else where. However, there are people who are going to gossip about others regardless. But still, letting your neighbors get to know you is not a bad thing.*S*
2 people like this
@kayedanda (1850)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
we had feed backs before moving in that the neighbors were meddlesome, so we chose not to socialize with them. we say hi to them as we go out though. it's not like we were totally ignoring them. and that's exactly what i think, that there are people who are going to spread rumors about us even though we make friends with them :-/
@rainmark (4306)
3 Sep 08
When i moved to our house i like it because the environment is very peaceful but when lots of people moved in and i got neighbors, they are started to spread gossips about me and other people living there, I am thinking that living in nice subdivision its good, the worst is the friend of mine is the one who always starting the gossips and the topic is me, maybe she just jealous to me, happy myloting,cheers!
@fondant (16)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
We used to have extremely nosy neighbors! Will you believe, they talked about everything new we brought into the house! We left that place, and moved into a different subdivision with less nosy people... It is quite and very peaceful when the woman who lives in the house in front of ours isn't here...
@kayedanda (1850)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
we are planning to move too, sometime in the near future, since our house right now is only rented. when we find a place to permanently stay, i sure hope neighbors aren't as nosy wherever it is. wish us luck!
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
3 Sep 08
I do understand that you must be frustrated right about now. It isn't easy to deal with people who are inconsiderate or nosy. It makes you wonder why they don't find something better to do with their time. I don't like it when people ask a lot of questions or gossip. I don't make a practice of gossiping or spreading rumors myself. What you should probably do is try your best to be patient and things might blow over and then it will all wear off after a while. Best of luck to you.
@kayedanda (1850)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
oh well. maybe when a new neighbor comes the nosy ones will shift their attention to the newcomers. :p
@fordham08 (131)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
We're so much the same. Our family don't ussually go out of the house. So, sometimes, when we go out they kept talking to us trying to make us say something about our lives. We're not relly open about personal issues, unlike them who kept gossipping every once in a while. I don't mind them, I just let them gossip and gossip about us, because they talk about one thing repeatedly for they won't get anything new. Try doing the same.
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
4 Sep 08
We have one set of really nosey neighbors. They don't even care that we know they are being nosey. They tell us about nearly everything that goes on at our own house, like we didn't already know. We allow our children to invite company over and they seem to think it is their place to let us know they think that isn't right. Not sure what can be done about it. I have just learned to live with it and try to stay my distance.
1 person likes this
@snebxu66 (379)
• China
4 Sep 08
I have had such neighbor but I moved away to another place of the city later, I thought that was the best way at that time, so does today. No matter what you rap to him/her or not, they will upset the tranquility of living there. Your good mood may be destoried ever and again, which could do great harm to your health, so it would be better to move.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Sep 08
Tell them to be quiet, and if that does not work, use some really loud speakers, put some Black Sabbath music, and scare the heck out of your neighbors. They will not be that loud ever again, and if all else really fails, call the police. I have had to do all of this to my noisy, out of control, neighbors.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Well if you don't socialize with them anyway, what does it matter who they talk about? My mom had a saying she often used. "If someone is gossiping about me then they are leaving someone else alone." I know I too am gossiped about because I don't go out of my way to socialize. If I'm out and they are too I'll chat, but I don't just go over and visit. Nor do I attend the numerous dinners and music sessions they have here. Just not my thing I guess. So I guess unless they are bothering you I'd just let it go. If they are bothering you, tell them. I guess I'm just not the type that puts up with much. LOL
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
4 Sep 08
i am also not a nosy person and i always stay inside my house when i am home... so i am not prone to gossip and i don't gossip about other people as well... i think if i know somebody who is gossiping about me, i will confront the person face to face and ask him/her to acknowledge his words... i will tell the person as well not to talk about me behind my back... if he/she has the guts, then speak in front of my face straight... don't hide... i treat the people who like to gossip as cowards... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@lil_32072 (114)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
unless you join them they will stop gossiping you. this behaviour of neighbors who were just pretending concern us. the thruth behind is they wanted to get close to us, and onced they got more infos themore theywill gossip and issue intrigues. its our right to chose whom we get close , doenst mean ignore them. i think smiles and waves will do.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Sep 08
I had neighbours too, they from upstairs. But they won't dare to do it overboard knocking on things and banging their hammers over at the floors during the morning wee hours. If they try to do it, i will just shout at them saying every one is asleep if they heat me up with disturbance.
@Hatley (164629)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Sep 08
kayedanda wellI would trade your nosy neighbors for our cold hearted pretend you are not there neighbors. I would welcome a friendly look or a gentle hello neighbor from those on either 'side of us, but no I meet them and they nod. okay big deal but am wondering if I was here alone one day and needed help would these cold snobs be the ones to help me? I doubt it. so this works both ways.you might try being friendly and find out if they really are doing what you say, maybe they just want to' be friends. so many people now dont give a damn about their neighbors at all, they dont talk to them, they dont even see them, their friends are all somewhere else, so they could care less. Sometimes you get mixed messages from neighbors so would not be to quick to put them down as gossips.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
3 Sep 08
[i]Hi kaye, We have a very peaceful neighborhood and I don't see anyone hanging around so much, so, less gossip..If I am in your situation, I will just ignore them....It will be useless to confront them and after all, they will do it again...Those people are the one who have nothing to do in life, it is not nice to hang out with them too![/i]
1 person likes this
@Ithink (10607)
• United States
3 Sep 08
We have had nosey neighbors and it took our house catching on fire for the one to stop causing us problems and to realize she was way off on us as a family. Of course Im not saying this is what it takes. The way I see it there is 2 chooses, ignore it or confront them. You didnt say exactly what/how they are nosey but if it is really bugging you about rumors I would confront the person. Like I said there isnt alot of choices. Best wishes on getting this taken care of to your satisfaction.
• United Kingdom
3 Sep 08
I've had this problem in the past. If you think that you can confront your neighbours then you should do so. Otherwise you can write them a polite letter mentioning your feelings and how you feel about their noise! My problems weren't that serious thankfully and I was able to communicate with my neighbours. You can always get some free advice locally where you live. Is there a free advice centre near you? This would probably be the best option for you. Good luck. Andrew
1 person likes this
@berrys (865)
• Singapore
3 Sep 08
If you do not wish to make friends with or to interact with your neighbors and I suggest you continue what you are doing and ignore their comments. However in a time in need you must remember that your neighbors are closes and would be the one to most likely help you in a horrible situation, example your house is on fire they would be the first ones to notice apart from you that is and they'd be able to help you call the fire department or if you have a theft in your house whilst on holiday your neighbor would be the one to help you. So i suggest if you and your family are people who are not too keen about socializing than at least say hi or approach your next-door-neighbor once in a while so they'd stop rumors about you and be a ble to help you in a time of need!
1 person likes this
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
yes!!!actually we have a new neighbors here (all are guys ages 20 up)they' were siblings coz their mom and dad is in the states..And you know what???3-4 times a week there's a party!!(ggggrrrrr!!!!)they're really noisy and until uplate there's still a party...At first i understand their situation but after that evryday noise which makes us awake even 1-2am, instead of scolding them, i call to a near police and ask for assitance. Because it's enjoy anymore...after that call, the police came just to say to them that they making loud noise that makes their neighbor not to sleep...after by then, the party stopped and they moved in other house...
1 person likes this