When the past returns...

Philippines
September 4, 2008 2:57am CST
I now live in a Muslim country where people have high moral standards and conservative beliefs. Just barely two months when we arrived here, the ex-girlfriend of my husband who also is a Muslim and is married called him up. They had dated for about nine years and was even almost engaged but they broke up because my husband decided that if she was going to marry him for money, then better just give her the money and leave. When i met my husband in my country, it has already been four years since the break up but i knew that she still wanted him back for she kept on asking about him back home. Now four years after we got married, we moved to his country and found out, to my surprise that this woman asked for help (it was really vague as related by my sister in law) from my husband about visa for her sister. Anyhow, she kept on calling him (i wonder if her husband knew) to say hi, until one day, she told him that she's by the gate of our house and wanted to see him. He went down, said hi, showed her photos of our family and asked her what she relly wants. She wanted him to help her get a visa for her sister. Anyhow, after my husband related to me the incidents, and gave me her number, i called her and asked her why don't she come over the house and see the family, including my husband's family so that we could talk about what she wants and then help her. I told her that she should have come inside the house and not talk with my husband outside, at least we could have met..She was speechless, and told me why don't i come and visit her instead. So i said to her, yes maybe we could talk in a cafe somewhere. I said, "But what i know, you're the one who want something, so it is best you come and visit us in the house." I guess she was embarassed or something and even asked me if i was angry. Why would i be angry? i asked her. You did not do anything bad, didn't you? Anyhow, she called my sister in law and asked her if my husband was beside me while i was on the phone with her. Of course he was. This has bothered me much because if this happened in my country or some western country, it's not a big deal. I mean, when a woman calls a guy for something, that's what she really wants. But here? She could have asked for "help" from someone else. Why a married man, and her ex for that? And yes, why not ask help from her own husband? I wonder if he knows.
2 responses
@lemayan (188)
• Germany
4 Sep 08
first things first the woman is married she left your husband, she should move because she was more inlove with his money than him, she should move on and why is she even waiting for your husband outside your gate that is sooo wrong, you should not be soft with her otherwise she will come up with new problems put your foot down and tell her a flat nooo, and as a far as your husband is concerned let him know that your not happy, after all he is not the only person who can help her with the visa for her sister, talk him and make him understand that you dont appreciate the woman calling or waiting for him outside the gate and i know its not his fault but thats the only way that he might brush her off or better still call her husband up and see what he says about it
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
I am actually thinking of doing that, calling her husband. But i don't want to create more trouble. Besides, i got her so embarassed already when i called. It was my husband who gave me her number and suggested that i call her so i would feel better.
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
its not proper to act that way towards a married man who happens to be your ex.. i suggest that you talk to her and ask her if want she really wants from your husband.. i agree that there are a lot more people whom she could ask help from..