measure of love ?
September 4, 2008 4:28am CST
You can never really tell how much your partner loves you. But we can sort of guess, sometimes we realize that you seem to show more love to your partner than he does for you. Me, I sometimes feel that I love my partner more than he loves me. Is that natural? I guess he's just not that expressive. So given the choice, which would you prefer: a partner who loves you more or you love your partner more?
2 people like this
4 Sep 08
There's a saying that goes something like this: It's blessed to be loved but it's more of a blessing to love others. And there is also another saying that says: It's bless to be loved, but to love others more is a torture. I agree with the 2nd saying. No matter how you look at it, the party who loves the other more will always be hurt more than the party who loves the other lesser. I have a friend who always advise me on one thing whenever I get hurt by my boyfriend and that is one would always put in more effort into someone when they love a person from the bottom of their hearts, and even though the other party has fault, they will be able to accept the faults of that person. When you don't really have 100% love for someone and only is in the liking stage, somehow or rather, every little misdoing that your partner does will only seems to irritates and annoys you. And I found this to be very true. I knew my boyfriend 5 years ago. And at that point of time, he was with his sweetheart (Let's call her HL). He was deeply in love with her, and would do anything and everything for her. Even when she slapped him in pulic for no particular reason, he can also accept that and begged her to forgive him for whatever wrongs he does. That was when my boyfriend loves her more than his ex-gf loves him. However, now 3 years after his breakup with HL (who also happens to be my good friend), he still is unable to forget her. He took a liking to me (because I treat him good), and had been with me for over a year plus. But, I know that deep down in his heart even when he does not admit to it, he still loves her more than he loves me. Every little thing I do seems to annoy him and he is never so accomadating to me. On the flip side of the coin, I seem to be the one who is always giving and he is always taking. Yesterday, i had just posted the question to him (He initiated a breakup with me as he felt that it was too suffocating to be with me as he feels very guilty) and that is would you rather I treat you the same way HL treats you? Will you be happier that way? And I told him to search within his heart.. do you honestly think that you can accomodate me if I were to treat you that way. Afterall, you had fallen in love with me because of the love I had given to you. He went silent. If given a choice, I would choose a partner who loves me more than I love him as I had been through the part of a partner who does not loves me as much as I loved him. And it's a torture to be in that situation as sometimes I really feel that I just can never measure up to HL in terms of his love. And till now, I still can not find the answer as to why is he treating me so badly.
4 Sep 08
I guess he really doesnt deserve you then. If you have given much of yourself in the relationship and still feels that way about her, won't you get tired of it? There are times when you have to let go someone, maybe then he'll realize what you are to him. Wishing for your personal happiness...
• United States
4 Sep 08
Love cannot be measured, but why bother measuring it? People express love in different ways. I hugged my boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek a lot before he would respond back. I knew that he loved me, but he did not know how to show it. He had never really been with a woman before. I am his first. If I really love someone, I show it by a kiss on the cheek, and if it leads to more than that, then that is awesome. I was not afraid to kiss him because he made me want to go the distance for him. When he responded back, it was unexpected. When I went to kiss him on the cheek like normal, his lips headed for mine, and the rest, like people say is history. Also, remember what they say about men: "Men have a harder time of showing their emotions than women do because men are taught never to show emotions". He loves you a lot, but he just has a hard time showing it to you. Give him time.