How do you get over somebody?

@dawnald (84146)
Shingle Springs, California
September 4, 2008 7:03pm CST
You really loved somebody. But there were some control freaky tendencies. You're on the fence about the relationship because of it. Your heart says stay and your head says go. He starts with the ultimatums and the "I'll start dating my friend so and so". So you break up. Your head tells you you did the right thing. Your heart is hurting. Meanwhile he marries the other person within 8 months. Seems to be happy as a clam. Your heart is still hurting. You try to take off the rose colored glasses and remember the control freaky behavior that made you go with the break up. It works for a day or two and then the rose colored glasses are back on. Your current relationship isn't helping you forget him at all. How do you get over it?
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
5 Sep 08
I went through a terriable divorce about 5 years ago, I was in complete infatuation with him and was so hurt when I caught him with another woman. Honestly I don't think I would have ever healed from the abuse and betrayal if it wasnt for God. I totally put myself into my bible and prayer and without that I really don't know what I would have done.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
I'm not religious and I don't think that would work for me, but thanks!
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
The one I am with is kind of standing in the way. lol
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@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
yeah he don't get it
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I am sad for your pain. And rose colored glasses cant be to bad to wear right? You can hide the tears as long as they dont run down to your chin. Ask yourself this question, do you think that you are being obsessive? What made you want to be with him in the first place? It seems like he didnt do a very good job at making you happy. You will need to let time go on and one day you will realize that he is as slimy as the clam he appears to be. And salty to for that matter.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
yes I'm being obsessive... and he isn't totally slimy. he gave up his vacation to work with the relief effort in Aceh moving bodies and stuff. Just not right for me....
1 person likes this
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Isnt slimy? There you go defending him. This is not going to help you get over him. You have to know why you left him and make it Real to you. Thats when you will get over him.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
He has slimy qualities but he isn't a slimy person. Just not right for me.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
5 Sep 08
its hard to do so than to say. the persistence remaiuns at the heart. still its better to forget. unless it will give pain. I ahve seen that time is best healer. it will at times erase the things.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
Easier to say than to do, yep. And time does help. But 3 1/2 years is a LOT of time. :-(
• United States
5 Sep 08
You did the right thing by breaking up with him, because somewhere inside of you, you knew it wasn't good enough for you. You deserve better. But because you haven't found better, he still seems to be your ideal, and your heart reaches out to him because you miss being in love and feeling close to someone. Of course, I am just speculating here because I don't know you, but that is how I felt when I broke up with my ex several years ago. He cheated on me and I broke it off, and even though I knew it was the right thing to do, my heart ached to be with him. Looking back on it now, almost 9 years later, I am proud of myself for having the strength and courage to leave him. I think you have to find your own process for forgetting and moving on. What works for some people might not work for you. Getting over a broken heart always takes time, but if you are wanting to get over it and you feel that you need to get over it, you have to try to see him for who he really was. He was not your soul-mate or your greatest love. There was a reason you broke things off, and you should remind yourself of that daily. Never give up on love and the fact that the right person is out there for you.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
You are right!