Friend requests

September 5, 2008 4:27am CST
My friend request box is currently flashing at over 20, i don't really know why! These people who have asked to be my friend haven't responded to any of my discussions, don't seem to have the same friends as me here on mylot and don't seem to be the type of person who would have anything in common with me- the majority of them are male and a lot older than me, what exactly do they think we would have to talk about!? When i first joined i'd make friends with anyone who asked but as time has gone on i have had to be more selective otherwise i can't do my friends justice and reply to their discussion as i just wouldn't have time to get through them all as i like to! I know someone else started a discussion like this not so long back, but i just wondered if the other women out there find that other ladies rarely ask to be friends, and do you respond to requests immediately, or do you wait to see what the person gets up to first!? xx
21 people like this
69 responses
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
5 Sep 08
[i]Ohhh...I approve any request right away...I have over 400 friends and only less than 20 are active in my post, some of those who are in my post aren't not in my list..LOL! but, still, I am not making it as a hindrance for me to accept their friendship, I wish someday, they will be like me, turning on the notifications and tried to work on it day by day! LOL! It is challenging to have over 100 notifications each day but I love it since I am targeting a dollar a day here, it helps me a lot![/i]
3 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 08
yea..I know for those who have regular job, that is not possible! ANyway, have a great time! Cheers!
3 people like this
5 Sep 08
It's nice to have a lot of friends!! I don't have the time to respond to 100 notifications a day - i wish i did!! thanks for the response! xxx
3 people like this
@ellie333 (21016)
5 Sep 08
Hi Munchkin, Oh I do feel for you on this one as when I first started I done exactly the same. I have over 21 pages of friends (most are inactive) and there are really only a handful that I am really close to. I don't like to deny though as no one likes rejection but I have three pending at the moment from people tat are still on 0, 1 or 5 and haven't shifted since hey requested last week so probably won't accept. I will however accept any one that has responded to a discussion or who has seen me via a friends discussion and got close to, bearing in mind we have over 147,000 members now though it would be difficult to accept and keep quality responses going to all eh! I answer to your question I do wait and see first. Huggles. Ellie :D
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21016)
5 Sep 08
Is that a new avatar pic, looks great, I like it! I really ought to delete all the inactive on my list but I don't have enough time to go through them all but there are a select few who with or without myLot I would stay in contact with. Oh by the way my date is back on for this Friday at 8.30pm, whoo hoo. I got a text message with his email this time as I hadn't been in contact to let him know when I was available next after his cancellations. Huggles. Ellie :D
2 people like this
5 Sep 08
This friday as in today or next week? that's exciting!! it'll go well i'm sure, he's obviously keen if he keeps finding the time to make plans (even if he can't keep them!!) Keep me posted!! my pic is slightly different! i don't have many pics of myself but i thought this one was a little less busty!! haha thanks chick! I should probaboy do the same, i do feel mean though! I have my friends on here, such as yourself who i stay in touch with through discussions and i like that, am willing to make more proper friends but i don't see the point in having a long list for no reason!! xxx
2 people like this
5 Sep 08
Aw, i'm glad you feel the same ellie, i was starting to feel really mean! i will always accept people i have come across through either my own or friend's discussions but like you i think i'll deny the inactive ones with no posts, there doesn't seem much point in accepting!! thanks ellie!! big love xxx
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Might I point out to you, Munchkin, that most of the people who have been here on myLot for a considerable length of time have accumulated many, many friends. Of course it would be impossible to communicate with each and every one of them on a daily basis, but over time it is comforting to know that they are there. I don't cross paths with some of my friends for months at a time, but that doesn't mean that I value their friendship any less. In my honest opinion, you limit yourself when you only select friends from a specific group that you think has more in common with you. I am proud to say that I have made friends from various walks of life, all age groups, and differing philosophies. The experience has changed me and made me a better person. So, please take my advice and get to know all kinds of people.
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Great comment, wisdom and advice. I have had people request that I be their friend just because of a comment I replied to their post. I try to only post things that I find interesting or have had some experience with. My goal is to make friends yes. But also, in the meanwhile, have an lasting impression on the rest of the world. I look at mylot as the personal way I can reach some many people with the things I have learned over the years and exchange strengths from the veteran mylotters. The more you take the time to learn, the better you become is my opinion. So why not take advantage of this great opportunity in mylot, express yourself, be kind to others; all the while earning a nice income from your personal activity.
2 people like this
• Pakistan
7 Sep 08
I just read your posting , when I completed my response...I agree with both of you....
1 person likes this
7 Sep 08
I do agree with you! I like to have friends from all different backgrounds and age groups, it makes discussion more interesting and i have a lot to learn from people, which is always good! The problem that i have is that when i accepted all of the friend requests i received i ended up getting offensive or inappropriate private messages from some of the men, i know that a lot of people are saying this is because of my avarat picture, but i don't think that this photograph is inviting that sort of behavious! So, because of this it has made me hesitant about accepting friend requests indiscriminately, which is sad because i may be missing out on some good friendships while i am being picky about it!! It's not that i don't want too many friends, of friends of a certain type, it's just that i want genuine friends who are here for the right reasons!! thank you for such well thought out and detailed responses! xxx
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
I think they are smitten by your because of your beauty, LOL. But it is a real wonder if they are not answering your discussions perhaps they want to retain your url and check out your pics. Ha!! I'd say do not accept those friend requests. As for me, I accept everyone's requests as long as they are not having 0 post at the moment, because I would think those are spammers or perhaps trolls.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
7 Sep 08
Same here, sweetie. Trolls are those that go around marking negative ratings for users on a too many basis.
6 Sep 08
I don't really like to accept friend requests when people have either no posts or who haven't responded to the same discussions as me! What do you mena by troll?! xxx
1 person likes this
@monkeysay (228)
• Singapore
5 Sep 08
No I never reject or ignore friend requests. It is never bad to have too many friends.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Sep 08
munchkin when you get offensive messages you should also notify mylot. that happened to me too, and I also notified'mylot and they thanked me and dropped those two people from mylot.
1 person likes this
5 Sep 08
I never used to but like i've said a couple of times in this discussion i have recently had to delete a couple after receiving offensive messages from them so i feel that i need to be more selective in future!! It's never bad to have too many friends though, you're right there!! thanks for the response! xxx
1 person likes this
6 Sep 08
I didn't notify them but i suppose i should have done! I will do it if ever happens again, it's just a shame that this has made me hesitant of accepting people as friends!! thanks for the advice! xxx
• United Kingdom
5 Sep 08
Hi, is that you in the photo? You look really nice, I just thought I would mention that! When you receive a lot of friendship requests it's difficult to say no. I actually agree and don't turn anyone down as I think it's a little impolite to do that. I guess one of the main reasons that the majority are male, and no one is going to admit this to themselves, is the fact that you look nice in the photo, you are attractive!! Don't worry, I'm not coming on to you by the way! I try and respond to my friend's discussions but it is hard at times. Still, you never know regarding friendships, you may become close friends, you just cannot tell. Andrew
2 people like this
5 Sep 08
Of course it's me!! I would prefer it if people wanted to be my friends because they liked me and what i say and do, not because of how i look though! I find it difficult to turn snyone down either but i have got so many from people with no posts etc that i think i am going to have to or it will start to get silly!! thanks for the response! happy mylotting xxx
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
5 Sep 08
I'm sure that there are a lot of genuine people on my lot that would love to be your friend including me, not only for the way you look but for your personality as well. Take heart, you are in a good place here. And as regards your photo? You definitely have nice looks. Keep smiling. Andrew
2 people like this
5 Sep 08
that's ver nice of you to say, thank you! xxx
2 people like this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
6 Sep 08
To be honest, I haven't even looked at my friends requests for about a year. I'm just not that interested, I guess.
2 people like this
6 Sep 08
Wow, i bet yours is really full! I always check mine, in case there is someone interesting in there wanting to be my friend, and sometimmes there is!! It's not all there is to being at mylot by a long soht though, so if it doesn't interest you, that's cool too!! thanks for the response! xxx
@bugbaby (1787)
• Indonesia
5 Sep 08
i always see who's want to add me be they friend and always approve them. i like to have much friend, These people who have asked to be my friend haven't responded to any of my discussions too but that's not make me not accept them to be my friend.
2 people like this
5 Sep 08
I just don't understand what makes them want to be my friend in the first place when they know nothing about me! I accept some of them, but have learnt to be a bit more selective recently!! thanks for the response! xxx
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
8 Sep 08
You appear to have very catch and beautiful avatar, I think that attract many of the members to send you a request for adding them as your friend. I used to add everyone initially, but now a days I have become a bit selective about new additions. I remain bit apprehensive while adding a member on the basis of his/her number of posts. If the number is less than 100 and the fellow is too young, I just keep the request pending to check after few days, whether the fellow is progressing fast and is active here on my lot or not. If I find any progress, I accept the request and if I do not, I just deny it. While reviewing my friends' list, I try to figure out who are inactive for the past few months, if I am able to identify those, who are not active, I just 'delete' their names. I wish to have active members in my list, even it is a smaller one, rather than a long list with 'inactive members'.
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
8 Sep 08
ans, I check the list periodically, not everyday..........LOL!
1 person likes this
8 Sep 08
I'm the same, i want to be friends with active members so i don't tend to add people with very few posts! I'm not sure my avatar is that good that it makes everyone want to be my friend - thanks though!! cheers for responding, happy mylotting!! xxx
1 person likes this
• India
8 Sep 08
wow...if mylot paid for proper management of friend lists you would be amongst the top gaines....lol...that must take alot of time checking on everyone in your friend lists...
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I tend to respond to a request as soon as I notice it while I am logged into mylot. I accept everyone that requests my friendship, though I have denied some in the past when I was still new here. I myself usually request someone's friendship on here after I respond to one of their discussions (if they aren't already on my friends list), or if they respond to one of mine. In the past I have also requested friendships by searching for people that have the same interests as I do. This could be how some of these requests came about for you and that is why they haven't responded to your discussions as of yet. But then again, maybe they are just perverts as you said the majority of them are older men. Who knows? LOL If you feel that you don't have anything in common with these people, just deny their request. But either way please don't leave it hanging as these people did make the effort to request your friendship. Just my 2 cents.
@yparson (581)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I would just deleted the friends request, but first I would probably check out some of their discussions for something in common-if not "Delete" and move on.
2 people like this
• Romania
12 Oct 08
I know this 'phenomenon' and there is an explanation. There are a lot of teenagers joining MyLot. In fact, they are happy to join everything new on the internet. They also use to ask for friendship on all websites, forums ... no matter if they have or not something in common with that person. This is the way they start. Have you ever seen a child, teen, with hundreds of contacts on their messenger list for example? I had. And they are very proud of that. In time, they start to socialize differently, they involve differently. Also, see how many people join MyLot and have no idea what's all about. Most of them understand later the principles and read the rules after 3-4 month. But this does not mean they won't do that. So, why not give them a chance ?! They may express themselves later. I will put this from my own side now. I usually reject all Friend Requests that want to sell me products or simply make me join a program they have. Or, well, to tell the truth, I also use to 'discriminate' people for their musical tastes. I can't help that ... But I give a chance to the rest of them.
12 Oct 08
You might be right but the group of people that i tnd to have problems with is men i their forties and fifties, but then again i guess there's nothing to say that people are truthful about their ages. I won't accept friend requests from people who are obviously trying to sell me something to get me to sign up to something, people that have hardly any posts i don't deny straight away, i wait and see what they get up to first!! I think everyone has their own system for friend requests! xxx
12 Oct 08
I think a lot of them think that having more friends will help them to increase their earnings, as well as wanting to post spam to all their friends too!! xxx
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Hey munch! Well, I hate to spoil the mystery for you, but it's your beautiful picture! What do think? You're so very pretty why wouldn't you be attracting attention, just be careful because you already said that you've gotten some of that "wrong kind" already! You know that I really care about you as a person and we connect on alot of levels even though I'm old enough to be your mummy (but don't want to be-then we couldn't have fun)lol! You do need to be picky at this point. You can be because you have made some really good friends that really do care about you and will look after you and defend you (you know which ones I'm talking about!) So please be very careful and if you are having a problem with someone, don't hesitate to call on one of us and do hit that mylot button!!! Yeah, that one!
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21016)
6 Sep 08
Hi Opal, no it still hasn't happened but I only have weekend nights free usually and so does he bu he had his chilren stay an extra two weeks then I was busy then I couldn't get babysitter last night o its on for next week again LOL. If it does actualy happen will let you know. Wow I think yu are right about Munchkins avatar attracting all those guys, when I had my daughter as my avatar for a week I got loads that week her age group too LOL. I agree with above comment, when are you going to get an avatar? Huggles. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
6 Sep 08
Aw Opal you're so lovely! Its great to know that i do have some really good friends here on mylot, and you;re right i know exactly who they are! If i do have any problems in future i will be letting mylot know, it might be easy enough to hit the delete button and ignore it but that's not what this site is for! I thought maybe i was being a wimp for finding it so offensive, but the more i think about it, the more i think it's unfair that they should be sending these sort of messages, especially to women young enough to be their daughter!!! Thanks Opal, you're a true pal!! And mrghill is right, get an avatar pic up there!! lol big love xxx
@intimate36 (1415)
• Pakistan
7 Sep 08
I got a response from you ...for my last discussion... I think the reason for requesting you for friendship is...your photo in your AVATAR Believe me young lady , I am here on my lot since 11 July...and you are the only ONE ...whom no one can forget ..once they have seen your avatar.. I think it is not bad if any one is a admirer of beauty....regardless of age ( by beauty, I do not mean only pretty women) It can be, natures beauty, it can be Taj mahal..or any person... In my school days, there used to be a subject " MORAL SCIENCE " not sure if it is still exist ..There I remember a story of a young Prince, who lost his way, while hunting.He reached a hut of poor fisherman, had food and water from the young beautiful daughter of that poor man. After reaching his palace ...he asked his father's permission to have that beautiful lady, as his life partner...which was refused. The King was forced, to go and ask the poor man,for his daughter as his son's bride..because the prince started a hunger strike..The poor man explained the king that the young girl was not his own daughter...and he found her floating in near by river( typical old time story ) Please keep reading...There King came to know ...that the girl was his own daughter ( extra martial )....and was shocked....thinking, how he would explain this to his son...that she is his " SISTER " Any how ...he told his son of this new relation...and you know how did his son react..He started crying with joy....and told his father...I WANTED HER...AS I LOVED HER...AND BY THIS RELATION,,IT WILL BE GREAT TO HAVE HER AS MY SISTER...I ONLY WANTED TO BE WITH HER...REGARDLESS OF HER RELATION WITH ME....GOD HAS GIVEN ME THIS GIFT AS A SISTER...WHICH AN"T BE DENIED BY ANY ONE IN THIS WORLD.... moral of this story is, beauty can be loved and accepted in any form...You have mentioned that those requesting you are much older than you...In fact after looking at your profile ...I changed my my mind of requesting you for friendship , as you are half the age of mine...and you may take it in other sense...But it is not so with every one dear...I have three niece of your age and a daughter 15 years...We are here to meet different people ..and have only one option of calling them FRIEND..So, better go through their profile and accept those you can...and if you find it difficult later, ignore them or delete them... Regards , have a nice day ...
• Pakistan
7 Sep 08
I am glad ,to know that I was successful in explaining my point...and full marks to you for your positive attitude...have a nice day...
1 person likes this
7 Sep 08
I love stories like that, thank you for sharing!! I think it's a shame that i feel the need to hesitate when accepting friend requests from men over a certain age, purely because of the way some have behaved! I've got a few male friends on here who are a lot older than me and we get on really well, and have a really good relationship with eachother, i'd hate to think i was missing out on that because of the actions of a couple of people!! I think i need to try to be a little more open minded about it! Thanks you for such a thoughtful and interesting response, as well as your advice! happy mylotting! xxx
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Yes, indeed that was a good story. I am glad you decided to participate in this discussion as well. Especially from a another man's perspective. By the way, I love your quote in your profile. Beauty is not always defined as appearance. It can be defined or described from a sunset, a mountain top view of a valley down below, a plane right over the ocean blue or the national geographic travel discussing the nature habitat of certain insects or even wild animals. Not to mention two good friends holding hands or the birth of a child. There are many different ways to define beauty.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
16 Sep 08
Well, I usually will try to make friend with as many newbies as possible. Firstly, to encourage them to discuss here. Secondly, when they are trying to meet their first 500 post target, they tend to be more active in the forums as well. I am glad that you are able to add me as a friend. This is good as I can turn the notification on for your profile and track the new topics you post. Then I can go and respond to them as much as I can. In the hope that you do the same for me so that we can respond to each other's discussion on a regular basis.Win win situation for the both of us. I guess when you join a public forum, there will be lots to talk about. Partly because there is people from so many different background coming together in the same forum. I am sure you will meet up with a creep once in a while. But there are lots of nice people out there as well. My thumb of rule... socialize with the nice people, ignore the creeps. And soon enough, you will be enjoying yourself a lot. Especially here in mylot!
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
17 Sep 08
Well, if you don't feel comfortable with those who requested to be your friend, you can always turn their notification off and ignore them. That way, you will not be overwhelmed by their notifications of discussions and responses. Reduces your nightmare of opening an overflowing inbox. :p
16 Sep 08
I agree its nice to make friends with people who are new here but i am always a bit dubious about people who ask to be my friend when they haven't made any posts! it's good to have friends where you can respond to eachother's discussions, i'll be back responding to other people's just as soon as i get through the mountains of notifications i have left over from being away!! lol thanks for the response! xxx
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
5 Sep 08
Firstly, how are you feeling today Munchkin. Slept well I trust. I have pages and pages of friends most of whom I saw first and last the day that they sent in the friends request. Currently I am doing a little experiment. I have 10 pending friends. The first two of whom requested five weeks ago and haven't visited the Lot since. All are from somewhere other than Europe, Australia/NZ or North America. I am not inclined to accept any of them. None have visited my discussions nor I theirs. I do like to help people along, but I wonder what these folk see in me because I see nothing in them. I'm a misery aren't I. You can say yes! LOL.
1 person likes this
5 Sep 08
You are, but i must be too because i think exactly the same as you! I feel cruel saying no, but what's the point in being friends with someone you have nothing in common with and who seemingly has no interest in you or what you get up to on here! I think it's very odd!! Mine all come from a similar area to you from what i can gather! hehe if i'm honest i feel worse today, bad night's sleep and wanting a big hug from my mum (i turn into a baby when i'm ill!! lol) have started some meds from the doctor though so hopefully there's light at the end of the tunnel at least!! aw, it's lovely of you to ask after me p1ke, i feel all loved and wanted!! hehe has the daughter survived another night alone? bet she's looking forward to a parental visit over the weekend!! xxx
@p1kef1sh (45681)
5 Sep 08
That's what mothers (and fathers) are for Munchkin. To dole out great big hugs and cuddles when you are well and sick. That's why we are off to Hatfield again tomorrow. You have to love your children, even when they are big. There is nobody sicker than me when I am feeling poorly. I am in a class of my own at feeling sorry for myself. I expect cuddles and kisses - not too smothering though. I like to be left alone, except when I don't. My favourite foods and drink should be brought to me and nice magazines - boys mags (not those!! What a mind you have). Computers, fishing etc. Now. I hope that you are tucked up all warm. Got a drink? Good. Stay off the ciggies. I see that we are going to have another day of it. XX
1 person likes this
5 Sep 08
I know, i love my parents, they're gonna be here next week too, can't wait for some parental love!! Am tucked up in bed, my brother has brought me leftover chinese and cheesy magazines as well as a couple of dvds! even got a hug, so am a little bit happier now, if i can't have my parents he's the next best thing!! lol Am getting fairly spoilt to be honest, i'd rather not feel pooey though!! It sounds as though you are as bad as me when you are ill then!! hehe this is the only time that i wish i didn't live alone!! oh well, i'll be on the mend soon i'm sure! i'll leave the off the ciggies, i promise! lol xxxx
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Well, honestly I have had a lot of friends request in mine, but I have gotten in the habit of disregarding them. I have deleted alot of people who did not respond to me or started discussions of which I did not like. I would be fine with just having my fiance, and his brother in my friend's list here. A lot of women seem to ask for me to be friends so I can't really say that women rarely as to be friends with me. I do not respond imediately unless I have seen the person's discussions and enjoyed the content. I won't wait to see what they get up to first either, as like I said above I disregard them now.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I would deny them before you end up deleting them anyway. I've deleted friends also because I never responded to them and they were just taking up space in my discussions my friends started. I don't know if I would call it toughen up, but I would definitely recommend deleting those you just wouldn't get along with.
1 person likes this
6 Sep 08
You're probably right! It's getting harder and harder to sift through my friend's started discussion list to find the people who i really want to respond to! thanks for the advice! xx
5 Sep 08
It sounds as though i need to toughen up and be a bit more like you! I watch them for a while and see if i think we would get on or have anything in common before i decide, but there's getting to be too many now, i think i'm just going to have to deny some of them! thanks for the response! xxx
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
6 Sep 08
they may just be lonely & need someone to talk to.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
6 Sep 08
maybe because u have that pretty picture of yourself posted.
1 person likes this
6 Sep 08
That's what people keep saying!! maybe i'll have to swap it for one that makes me look awful instead - there's plenty of them to choose from!! lol xx
6 Sep 08
hmm perhaps, i don't know why they all choose me though!! thanks for the response! xxx
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
me, im a girl too...and i admit that i'm too friendly..sometime i'm the one who's asking to be their friend..because for me, no matter where he or she comes from, it's best that you'll be friend...having lots of friends are really fun!Because having lots of friends are having shulder to lean on when you have a problems.Like me i have a pending friends requests, i don't know why they don't add me..I don't have any bad intention just want to be their friend and that's it but if they really don't want me to be their friend that's no problem with me... happy mylotters!
1 person likes this
5 Sep 08
It's not that i don't want to be friends with people it's just that i don't understand why they have asked to be my friend when they know nothing about me!! I'm sure you've got loads of friends here at mylot!! thanks for the response! xxx
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
actually i don't have lots of friends request....Unlike you you're such so beautiful that's why many mylotters here want to know you better specially guys that's for sure...haha..(you're so beautiful..i wish i'm beautiful like you...) thank's for your reply.. have a good day! happy mylotters!
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Photos send certain messages. be careful.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Hope you don't mind a guy responding to your discussion. It came up in my digest report so and your topic caught my interest. The friends issue is a big mystery to me as well. Especially when I started getting request after request from people located in India. The first initial thought was okay kewl someone wants to be my friend. But then several other requests started coming from the same location in the world. I do have Indian people in my family, however, I am not of that direct descent. I still accept friend requests from anyone and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. It's all a matter of time before they show their true colors. Even though, I have received several friend requests; if they start PM'ing me about some business opportunity they want me to take a look at; then I know they befriended me with the wrong motive. So I ignore them. I don't delete them because if I ever start a discussion that they might be interested in debating then it improves my rating in mylot. Okay, I've been enough of the chatter box concerning this subject. Thanks for the discussion and I hope you didn't mind be chiming in even though I am a guy. Besides I dont' know why some people aren't actively looking for serious friends that they would like to debate with on mylot or simple just to support one another. It seems like to me that it would only make sense?!? A friend by my definition is someone who has the same common goals or interests as you. Someone who will be a support to you and but mostly importantly someone who can seriously let you know when you're headed down the wrong path in life. Some people simple enjoy being phony and not themselves, which is why they put up a image of themselves that isn't really them at all, just to be liked by everyone else. As for me, if I can't be real, then why do it? Some people like me, some people don't. Some that take the time to get to know me will and others that don't won't. I cannot allow what other people think of me to stop me from being a better person or from striving to become the best person I know how to be. hdjohnson
7 Sep 08
You speak wise words!! i think i'm just going to be more selective about who i make friends with, and look out for some ladies that i would like to be friends with, then i can ask them to be my friend!! thank you very much for taking the time to respond! xxx
7 Sep 08
Of course i don't mind a guy responding to my discussion!! I haven't got anything against men, or even being friends with them it's just that i have come across a few who don't behave appropriately, and i was also curious as to why no women ask to be my friend hardly!! I like to have friends from all different walks of life, from both sexes and of all different ages but i want a friend who is a true friend, not somebody who wants to send me spam, offensive messages or who is inactive!! i've whittled my request list down now though!! thanks for the response! xxx
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
7 Sep 08
Oh I see now. Well if you want more female friends search for some that share the same common interests as you and request to become their friends. The more you do that, the more other females will eventually begin to ask you to be their friend. It's called "seedtime and harvest" the more friendships you sow, the more you will eventually reap. It can be truly lonely on mylot if you are focused on one particular thing. There are alot of interesting people on here. And unfortunately there are a few loonies as well. And not to mention those awful perverts. I apologize that you have encountered them. But you will meet all types of people in person with varied backgrounds and personalities, as long as you keep living. It will be up to you to determine how close will you allow them to be to you. So, don't lose sight of you dreams or goals, if you truly want as many friends as you want. Write down some standards, and whenever you do receive a friend request, accept them and forward your new friend your standards for your friendship. If they are truly wanting to be your friend, then they will agree with some, probably rebut a few and send you a counter offer of their standards. Once you both agree. Then over time, you will see many friendships blossom! At least that's what I've been taught over the years. Before I got married to my wife, we were friends for four years. Now we have been married for 8.75 years. A good long time for real friends. Do we always see eye to eye? no, Do we disagree sometimes? yes. But we both know in the end we can agree to disagree and move on. It's how you decide to learn or live your own personal life, whether or not you will acquire all the things you truly want out of life (whether that is friends or something materialistic). I hope my 3 cents added to discussion and that it works well for you.
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