One more update on - I want to save my marriage ideas?
By ebsharer
@ebsharer (5515)
United States
September 5, 2008 8:58am CST
Hi every one! Thank you so much for all your support over the last few months. I again thank every one that responded to my discussions about my marriage. Just wanted to give every one an update.
Although I came home to a different person and things were going very well he has filed for a divorce. It basically came out of no where again. I shouldn't say out of no where because of all that has been going on but I really thought things were better. Things were much better then they had been we were talking and touching, seemed to be getting better everyday. Until he came home from work and said "you will be receiving papers some time next week." He has since bascially moved out. He comes over in the morning before I go to work to stay with our daughter and takes her to grandmas. I pick her up from there as always. He has been taking her every other weekend too.
All that being said I must say this - Although I don't want a divorce I can't stay in a relationship with the emotional roller coaster he has put me on. I can't stay with some one that I don't trust and honestly I don't trust him with my emotions any more. So theres my update sorry to dissapoint you but I'm sure you already knew it was coming. I did in a way. Thanks again for every thing and by the way - I'm actually okay.
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1616148.aspx
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1636454.aspx
3 people like this
6 responses
@34momma (13882)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Oh honey i am so sorry to hear that things didn't work out. But you know what every thing happens they way they are suppose to happen. every relationship is not meant to be forever no matter how much we "think" they are suppose to be. I know you are goint to be just fine. now you can take this time to focus on you. to regroup and then move on with life. You are a great lady and things will be just fine
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Thank you for your words. I know that not every relationship is ment to be forever and I did think this one was but over the past few weeks of being alone I have reflected on our relationship and realize that although the first 3 years were great this last year we both changed we both fell out of that butterfly in your belly love. He was my friend and when we stopped being friends is when we stoped being us. Well it happens. I didn't want the divorce but I realize I was holding on more for my daughter then for me. Now its time I find ME again. I am not longer Brians wife I am Erika again. And I kind of like it!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Now that is what i am talking about Erika!! good for you. Life has plans for you Erika. and if you keep really still and listen, you will know what it is. just reclaiming your name is a step in the right direction! I am happy for you. this may be the end of the relationship but honey it's not the end of you. You Rock Girl, so keep on rocking!
1 person likes this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Hun I'm so sorry I wish things had tured out differently for you. But maybe this is the best. I stick by my first observation. But I will say that I feel for you and that you are in my heart. If you need to talk I'm here. I know that seperation and divorce are not easy and that there are still a lot of things that need worked out in the long run but remember this you tried and did your best and when you look back don't think maybe if I did this or if I did that things would be different, never ever think that you gave it a try you worked with him. Now it's time to close you heart and think of what you need from him and out of this divorce to make life easier for you and your daughter he walked away not you. I'm not saying be vengeful but be realistic to you and your daughters needs and when you go into divorce court make sure you get it. Take care dear this is never easy but honestly you will survive and get through it trust me on that one .. I have past experience. Take care and many hugs to you and your daughter. Please do me a favor sit done the both of you with her and make sure that she realizes that this is not her fault she can't fix it and that you and daddy have just grown apart and are better off seperately. Because wether she says it or not all kids feel that they are the reason at first and think that there is something that they could have done to stop it you want to drill it in now that this has nothing to do with her and everything do to with the fact that you grew apart.(even if the true reason is something else.)
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
5 Sep 08
Thank you again - first let me say once my daughter gets older I will be sure to make sure she knows this had nothing to do with her. She is too young to understand now (only 21 months).
As for the divorce because of expenses we are getting a non contested divorce which is much cheaper and much easier. I told him I won't sign any thing until he signs the paper work I am having done - which is the custody and settlement stuff. Believe me I am getting what I want, need and then some.
I can honestly walk away knowing that I did every thing in my power to save this marriage. He is the one that withdrew months ago. I won't ever regret my time with him it was a learning experance, a hard one but I have learned from my mistakes and his and know that I am a better and stronger person because of him. Plus he gave me a beautiful daughter that is the light of my life.
1 person likes this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Your a strong woman and I'm very proud of you and hope that you find someone one of these days that are worthy of you.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
18 Sep 08
I have read both threads. You have made me shed a tear, cos I can understand what pain you have might gone through. I don't have much to say, just I ' ll keep you in my prayers. Keep strong because your 21months daughter need you at this moment.
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
27 Sep 08
We talked about all of this last weekend so I won't post it here. Did you do what I told you? I sure hope so or I'm afraid you are gonna wish you had. You did your best and continue to do so, I know that. Keep looking up. I know you are going to get through it. LuLu is your shining light!
Hey BTW Jr is checking on PA since you all spoke. Did you see, he protested! Bet you can't wait for LuLu to get there huh 
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Can't find any one to help but did hire some one at a whole $125 an hour. I did all the paper work myself and she is going over it to be sure it will hold up in court if needed. I will call or email you the details.
Jr coming here would be fantastic!!! We had a good talk I think we both needed to hear eachother and know we are there for eachother no matter what. He was funny when I told him what was happening. He used a funny word for B that I can't use here! I needed the laugh as did he!
Lulu comes home today!!! I'm so very excited!! I can't wait to see her this trip was too long!
