My Cousin Wedding: What do you think about Having Family?

Indonesia
September 5, 2008 10:02am CST
Last week was my cousin's wedding. I saw one thing odd there. That was my Mom and Dad. They represented her parents. It was because her parent's was not there. Her Mother had died when she was about 10 y.o. Her father has other wife. The custom will actually not allow her father to "sit" beside her because she rejected her when she was still in her mother womb. There was a 'war' between his family and my mother's siblings. BUT, that was years ago. That Day, her father was invited to come but only as guest. I was crying in my heart; my mind raced: OMG, if one day it happen to my daughter. I only saw her not accompany her in her happiness... But the oddest thing ever was, again I say, My parents. They don't marry their sons first, but their niece which is far younger that their own sons. I somewhat afraid to start my own family because of my mother and father behavior. They show me that having family is equal to carrying the world's burden. Do you have same opinion with me?
3 responses
@teamloud (91)
• New Zealand
5 Sep 08
Mate, why dont you stand for what YOU believe in? If you dont want your kids to go through the same scenario then simply, DONT LET THEM! I know its easier said (or typed) than done , but at the end of the day how YOU feel and YOUR KIDS HAPPINESS is whats important. Customs and Tradition is all important, however Custom and Tradition is NOT what makes us what we are today....we ARE! Familys and Burden? ..I work an average 70+ hours a week as a truckie, then probably another 20+ on my computer trying and trying to make a little extra so my partner and kids can have that little bit extra. Yeah, the truck pays just fine... the computer doesnt, but I wont stop trying, as for the burden? With my 3 kids?... I wouldn't have it any other way! Your Mother and Father have their beliefs and thats fine,if you do not share the same beliefs then you are entirely within your right to go the other way. My 3 children come from a de facto relationship that has lasted 12 plus years, my parents (being "old school") would have frowned upon this as I am not legally married. I however, dont give a damn,as I work my butt off to raise my kids I can also enjoy the feedback as they in turn grow, and my 11 year old son is in fact my best mate! The bottom line is that you have to do what is right for YOU... not anyone else, to live your life upon someone elses decrees especially if you yourself do not agree with said decrees is basic dishonesty! Now, I am not saying that you are dishonest, what I am saying though is that if you feel that you want to start a family..GO HARD! get into it!,Do what is RIGHT for YOU, and most of all...ENJOY IT! Religion, and Tradition both have their places...LIFE however is WAY up top! I hope this post is of some help to you, and wish you all the best in your future. Cheers MrL®
• Indonesia
6 Sep 08
Well, I'll think about all your inputs. Thank you mate for sharing. That's helpful.
@mimingsi (152)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
Hmm.. I don't know really in what country you live in. But if it is a custom in your country, I would respect that. In my opinion, having a family can either be a burden or not. If you are prepared for the challenges that having a family brings, then it will be a smoother ride; If not, it will be a burden. Preparedness I mean, not just financially, but the maturity of the parents-to-be.
@aize003 (225)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
well if you ask me i would say "NO" you don't have to follow their footsteps you if you're afraid that it might happen to you in the future well that is your choice..