I believe in Innocent til proven guilty but..........

United States
September 6, 2008 5:22pm CST
Okay I have always been pretty firm in the belief of innocent til proven guilty. However, I have had a situation arise, and in every ounce of my body, I am certain this person is guilty..but dont know if i should say anything to them since I really cant prove it. Here is the story, sorry if its long. I went to a friends house (we have been friends for just about a month) she has two children age 15 adn 16. My friend has not been feeling well, due to some health issues she has. Well, she was going to be home alone today so I was asked to come sit with her for the majority of the day, and i agreed. Once i was there it turned out her 15 yr old daughter was going to be home, but since i was already there and planned my day around being there i figured i would stay and hang out. Ok so i went to the cash machine on my way to her house and took out 20 bucks that i was gonna need to give hubby when i got home today...i tucked it in my wallet in the same place i always do. I went to friends house..we had been sitting on her bed watching movies, she fell asleep and next thing i knew so did i. My purse had been at the foot of the bed setting on a chest type thing that she has. I was asleep for about an hour and half. My friend was still asleep when i woke up. I know she never woke up while i was sleep eitehr becuz her meds knock her out cold and she dont wake unless someone wakes her. Well when i left i came straight home. I sat down and went in my purse to give hubby his money...it was gone. Along with the 5 dollar bill i also had just thrown in there from yesterday. I know i had it when i got in the house and it was gone when i left. I know my friend didnt take it, and the duaghter was the only one in the house unless someone else came there while we were both sleeping and to my knowledge that wasnt the case. So everything points to her doing it, but i dindt see her so i cant prove it. I love the kid shes sweet kind and would do anything for anyone, but she does have an unstable history that i wont get into..nothing criminal though that i am aware of. So, do i bring this up when my friend is feeling better, or do i let it go and just make sure to never bring my purse in the house when im there? Please, someone give me some advise or thoughts...i have never had this happen before and i dont know how to approach it.
4 people like this
9 responses
@JLMack (68)
• United States
6 Sep 08
You need to talk to the 15 year old girl. And if she doesn't at least appoligize and try to make aminze. Then you should talk to your friend. You came over there because you are friends and you she needed someone with her. You shouldn't let this fester because it will only make things bad between the two of you. If it causes a problen with your friend because you told her about what happened in her home, then it would have caused a bigger problem by not saying anything at all.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
6 Sep 08
This is unfortunately one of those really tricky situations where you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. My advice is to cut your losses and be far more careful next time. As you have said, you can't prove it and to confront this with your friend could end up really awkward. Once bitten twice shy is the most applicable term here so drop it and be sure to be very wary with your money next time you are there.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I agree it is just qa lesson learned.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
7 Sep 08
The daughter took it,really you have proof in your own mind but you just cannot prove it to your friend...I am sure this girl has done it before & is aware that her daughter steals....If it were me and you value her friendship ,I would not say a word about it.I would make sure i NEVER left my purse lying around at her house ever again.I would either leave it in my locked cAR & ONLY HAVE MY KEYS ON ME OR DO NOT TAKE MONEY WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO TO VISIT...I am sure your friend knows how her daughter is but bringing it up to her would only emmbarrass her & your harm your friendship,cause her to jump on to her daughter about it & its just not worth it because chances are you will not get the money back...I wouls just take it as a lesson learned & be very careful when you go to see her...
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
7 Sep 08
This is one of those type of situations where you have to tread lightly because if you accuse your friends daughter your friend might never talk to you again,but if she did do it,and you do not say anything then it could happen again,I think you should talk to your friend about it,tell her that you have misplaced some money and ask if she has seen it,and that it was in your purse when you go there,and you think that it might have fell out and gotten picked up by her daughter.
• United States
7 Sep 08
that is a great way of wording it..ty. I still havent decided for sure what im doing but if i decide to mention it at all, this just might be teh way that i word it,,still open to suggestions though. Thanks again
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 08
You are very welcome I was glad to give you my advice and I hope that if you decide to word it like that,that it will help you find out the truth without losing a friend ,have a great day,good luck in your life,and Happy Posting my friend.
• United States
7 Sep 08
Well I have just got a call from my friend. She called to say hi, adn then asked me about a convo that her daughter and I had yesterady. Well after that, i then figured now was a good time to ask...i wasnt even sure if i was gonna but it sort of just came out. I asked her if by any chance her daughter found any money on the floor near the foot of the bed, she said not taht she knew of and her daughter isnt home right now to ask. I proceeded to tell her i had it when i got there and it was gona when i got home. She then said..you know, i had 80 bucks come up missin, and i thought it was hubby that took it..now im not so sure. So she in a sense, sounded like she thought it was possible that her daughter took my money and hers as well. I swore to her i wasnt starting to stir trouble and taht i wont accuse her straight out as i have no proof, but that i will say with certainty that it disappeared while in her home..one way or another. So im sure when she talks to her daughter, her daughter will give lots of attitude next time im there, but too bad. I am planning to keep my time there very scarce and we can hang out out of the house or at my place. i will post when there is any update..thanks again my friends.
@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
7 Sep 08
remember that you have only been friends with her for about a month. so, you would never know if she, or anyone in her family would or could, sneak into your wallet. if the daughter knew her mom was out cold, she may have bet you would be, too. seriously, what are the chances that the mom, or the daughter, would give you the $25 back? of course, the 16 year old could have come in while you were asleep, lifted the money and left. so you don't know which child did it. i would let be known that you had $25 before you fell asleep and when you got home it was missing. i'd pay close attention to the mom when you tell this story. if you want to remain friends with her, lock your purse in your trunk and think three times before you would invite her and her children to your home.
• United States
11 Sep 08
Well, i spent the day with my friend yesterday, most of the day we were out running errands. Anyway when i picked up my friend in the morning, i asked the daughter myself, if she knew anything about the money, she said no she didnt, but that she did have a friend over that day and perhaps her friend had taken it..and that she would ask. Well when i took my friend back home last night, her daughter had come out and handed me 25 bucks..i asked if she found out what happeend, she said that her friend denied knowing anything about it, but that she believes me that it wetn missin, and that she knew she didnt take it, and her friend was the only other possible person, so she really didnt believe her friend, but she dint want me to be out the money, so she gave it to me. She said i want to make sure u get your money, and ill deal with my friend later, if she took it, i will get the truth out of her, and if she really didnt, well then i dont know wht happened to it but at least you got ur money back. As much as i know it had to be one of them, i felt bad taking the money without knowing for sure...but i took it and kept my mouth shut and said ty. So i may never know who did it, but i think it was pretty cool that she at least gave me the money, rather she was guilty or not..i still will be very careful as to having money with me when i go there. thanks all for your advice.
@valeria1 (2724)
• United States
11 Sep 08
I would bring it up! I would ask the daughter in front of the mother and see her reaction! I prefer to loose the friendship!
@Hatley (164672)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Sep 08
hi faln angel I would calmly and carefully ask the daughter if she took my money, explain if she gives it back,no harm will come, or did someone else come into the house while you were asleep? wait for her to answer then tell her you would like the truth. If your friendship means anything to her tell her you wont make a big fuss just give the money back as its not yours to give away. listen to her and try to decide if she is telling the truth or not.
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
7 Sep 08
Yes, I know these situations are awkward. I had a young maid who was very good at work. Regretfully, she was an expert at stealing, showing a very innocent face. She did rob a new digital camera from one of my tenants, and some cash out of another's wallet (incidentally both boys shared the same room). My maid was the only one who had entered their room on that day (to clean up) and we were sure she had taken it. Again we had not seen her doing it physically. So what could be do, just had to let her know indirectly, after which she left the job.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
I believe in innocent till proven guilty. But sometimes in our justice system even if we know the person is evil because of this kinds of principle a lot of criminals are still free and able to do evil things. A lot of criminals because they have good lawyers and people who will defend them they are set free inspite the fact that you know deep in your heart the person have committed the crime. Inspite of several witnesses have already told the court that the person committed the crime without the solid evidence to prove that he really did it. He will still be out there free to kill or cotinue there illegal activities. So i believe that somehow there should be a change in our justice system. Because sometimes people in power abuse this kind of principle to get away from there crimes.