When Do You Say, "That's Enough"
September 9, 2008 4:49am CST
I am a guy who's courting another guy who is not ready to commit to any relationship as of the moment. I do everything to please him and just to get that much covetted YES from him. He still sees guys according to him so I think that I really have a bunch of competitors for his heart. I really want him for my partner. though he's not the dreamboy type of guy, he just struck me the moment we got together. There is really no stopping me. Whatever the cost might be, I am just about to ignore it and go on for what I have always wanted... But the question remains unanswered...WHEN WILL I SAY, "IT'S ENOUGH?" Can I face the fact if he finds someone better than me? How will you answer this question? will you help me out?
9 Sep 08
Enough is enough when you find yourself losing your identity in the courtship. No matter how much we love another person, we will always have to remember that if the other party loves us as much as we love them, they would want us to be happy too, and not be miserable while loving them. This guy that you are mentioning does not seem to respect you much. And seems to be just playing the field (literally speaking). He seems to be the sort of person who gets a kick out of so many people liking him. I would stay away from a guy like this who does not seem to think much of relationship. A guy who is not ready to commit will not be ready to commit no matter how much you give in to him, or how much you do to please him. Majority of the time, they would be with you because they want to continue having that treatment. However, whether or not love can be nurtured in their hearts for you is a total different matter altogether. Please don't make the same mistake that I did. I court after my boyfriend initially and he fell in love with me because of my care and concern towards him. But, after some time because of the fact that he did not love me in the very first place, every little action that cause him to fall in love with me becomes annoying and irritating to him, to the extent that he wants to let go of the relationship because he feels suffocated. This will happen to any other relationships no matter what. Love should be two ways and not just one sided. When it's one sided, though we might get the person physically, we can never capture their hearts. And they will eventually give in and accept us because of some quality that make them fall in love with us. But this is not true love. When whatever quality is gone and you change your treatment of him, his love for you will then slowly disappear. That is the sad but harsh truth. Love should always be given and taken unconditionally, that is the type of love that will prosper. Here, I wish you all the best in your relationship with him, and hopefully I am wrong about it! Take care!
10 Sep 08
Well, I think when you know that it isn't right already.. Don't let your self down just because of that guy.. There are many guys out there that can accept you for what you are and that will love you more that you love that guy.. It's enough already when you think that there is no chances of getting his attention and love.. You said that he has another guy, don't fool your self just because you love him.. I know that love is blind or love can make people crazy and stupid but if you can see that you are already hurting your self and you are being so stupid then I think it is already enough.. I know that someday love will be tired to keep on waiting someone to be totally yours, before you fall out of love to your self, before you hurt your heart, before you become stupid, before you become crazy, before you lose your self respect and confidence, you just end it up its enough already.. It is time to think about your own happiness (even though its him that can makes you happy), and most of all to love yourself... This is only my answer to your questions.. The decision is still in your hand.. I hope you can decide what's the best for you.. Happy posting!
12 Sep 08
1st thing, I didn't say he has another guy. I said he still sees other guys which I think is his prerogative being a single guy much as it is a prerogative of mine. the difference in this situation is that I choose not to meet any other guys and that's a choice i have made. Now about the "he will accept you for what you are" thing, he does accept me for what I am and I do the same for him no matter how big the gap of our difference maybe. Again, As I said on another comment in this discussion, he was traumatized in one of his past relationships and doesn't want to risk his heart just again. Also, I don't think I look stupid with what I am doing. 'Cause in the first place, if I'd look stupid, I won't do it hehehe...And also, I have to have self respect before I'd be able to reflect it to others. thank you very much for your response and I should say it made me realize a lot of things especially that I am very happy with what I am doing right now. Thanks kissie!