What would you do if you were betrayed

@mayka123 (11050)
India
September 9, 2008 6:36am CST
You love someone very dearly - a family member or a friend and that person betrayed you. How would you handle it? Would you be able to be friends with that person again? Would you be able to trust them again? Would the relationship be the same after that? Are you able to forgive and forget?
3 people like this
33 responses
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
10 Sep 08
i will just keep quiet what else u can do
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
11 Sep 08
I think I too would keep quite. But the hurt would be there with me all my life.
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
11 Sep 08
u r right, feeling of being hurt will be there
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
18 Sep 08
For me when a friend whom I trust tells me lies I think I would call that betrayal too. And betrayal hurts a lot. I am never able to forgive that person ever. Am not able to communicate freely with them too.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I've been through with this situation.I was betrayed by my brother and a person i thought a friend.It was really painful for me because after all the kindness i had done to them they betrayed me and even made things against me.I never thought that there are people like them.I can never forget what they did to me that until now i still can't forgive them.I wish i could but my heart still say no.Only time can tell.
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
4 Oct 08
Do not condemn all your friends because one betrayed you Do not stop believing in love because someone was unfaithful to you We have to at some time learn to forgive. I know it is difficult and even though I am now asking you to forgive I myself am finding it difficult to forgive but we have to learn to forgive and continue with life.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
23 Dec 08
I know you are right.I already forgiven them inside my heart but to be in good terms with them, i guess its not yet time.And i can't tell when.
@Ohara_1983 (4120)
• Kuwait
12 Sep 08
I dont know what to sy, but maybe they will be lucky enought to accept thier sorry but never be thier friend or family again, but as they said still the water is heavier than oil. can say GOD knows.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
16 Sep 08
I think you meant "blood is thicker than water", dear.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
30 Sep 08
I never accept a sorry from the one who has betrayed me. It is just impossible to trust them again.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
10 Sep 08
I might forgive a friend if they have betrayed me but the forgetting part is something I will have a problem with
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
10 Sep 08
I can never forget. And that spoils the relationship as I can never be the same with that person again.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
11 Sep 08
It is the same way with me so I understand.
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7383)
• United States
9 Sep 08
If I ever had a friend that betrayed I am not sure if I would be their friend again, and I know I would not trust them at all,and I would probably wage war with them whenever I saw them,I have never had a friend betray me,even though I do not trust a couple of my friends,and one used to be a liar and user when it came to borrowing money,and he has changed,but I still do not trust him,and avoid him whenever I can because he still seems like bad news.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
3 Oct 08
A lot of times friends and family betray us in simple ways...just a few lies here and there. You are right that once betrayed we cannot trust that person again. Atlease I would find it very difficult to trust again. Some people may be friends after that but the comfort level would not be there.
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
3 Oct 08
Congratulations on reaching 3000 posts.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Sep 08
i don't handle betrayal well at all. in fact it breaks my heart. it is so unessary & hateful of a friend or a family member. if you have a bone to pick w.me , come to my face . don't go behing my back, i hate that.no, i would not be friends w/them because i would never trust them. no, i am not able to forgive & forget. know u are suppose to but i don't do that too easily.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
18 Sep 08
I too find it very difficult to forgive a person when he/she betrays. Sometimes for formality sake I may keep up the friendship but the trust would never be there. And I never ever forget.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
18 Sep 08
i don't want to be around anybody that betrays me. i wouldn't be very good company. lol
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
30 Sep 08
Hi mayka, I would find it very difficult to forgive someone that has betrayed me. I don't think that I would be able to be friends with them anymore. I wouldn't be able to trust them at all ever again and that is the most important part of friendship. I am not a forgiving person and I never forget. If someone has done something wrong to me I don't think that I would be able to have anything to do with them at all. There would be nothing left of the friendship if they betrayed me because that would mean that they broke a trust and that would have to end the friendship because I would never forgive them.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
7 Oct 08
Do not condemn all your friends because one betrayed you Do not stop believing in love because someone was unfaithful to you We have to at some time learn to forgive. I know it is difficult and even though I am now asking you to forgive I myself am finding it difficult to forgive but we have to learn to forgive and continue with life.
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
13 Sep 08
I'm afraid I find it very difficult to forgive and forget. I bear a grudge for a VERY long time - maybe even forever - and the person concerned would really have to prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that they could be trusted again and were genuinely sorry for whatever they'd done. I remember being betrayed once - when someone tried to undermine me behind my back and take my job from me. I have actually forgiven - but I don't have the level of trust I used to have.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
16 Sep 08
I agree that the level of trust is not there after we have been betrayed by a person once. I find it very difficult to trust a person after he/she has betrayed me once. I may continue the friendship but the trust would never be there.
13 Sep 08
people makes mistakes and i guess it's just fair if i forgive those who betray me. sometimes, it's hard to understand different kinds of people, even friends.. we have different personalities and i guess we have to understand that. time can heal anyway. we don't have to stick to the past when we still have a biiiig future ahead of us!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
6 Oct 08
Yes it is fair to betray but then it is difficult to trust person once he has betrayed you. I do not like people telling lies. I dont think it is necessary in any relationship.
• Philippines
12 Sep 08
i think i can still manage to forgive and forget about what has happened but i'll make sure i learn something from it. i've tried being betrayed once and it was really hard for me but now i have already moved on so i guess it's really true that time heals.;-)
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
23 Sep 08
It is hard to accept betrayal. But I guess we have to move on with life. But sometimes this betrayal does effect our future relationships too...isnt it so?
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
10 Sep 08
If someone very dearly betrayed me, I think I will still be able to be friends with that person but I won't trust them completely, I will forgive but I don't think I can forget.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
3 Oct 08
I thin most of us would find it difficult to trust a person who has betrayed yes. I at times find it difficult to continue the friendship too. I can never forget a betrayal.
@aendzie (571)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I would cry, that's the initial reaction. I would cry a river, curse him/ them, then say bad things then move on!lol. I think God is so kind to me that He always give me heartaches and pains. Like, this is His way to make me strong and a better person. I have all the stories to tell, I've had boyfriends who cheated on me, used me then trashed me. But I'm still here, I'm still alive, surviving. If I'm betrayed by anyone, I would just feel bad about it, forget about the person, then if they ask for forgiveness, I will give it, but I can't be sure if I'm willing to trust him again.
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
3 Oct 08
I think all females end up crying...cursing and saying a lot of bad things. Yes you are right in saying that you would move on. All of us should learn to move on. These betrayals and heartaches do help in making us stronger people. Thanks a lot for joining in the discussion. Happy posting.
@Ganesh44 (5547)
• India
9 Sep 08
Hey India corruption is too much ...some times I fight sometimes I ignore ...depends on mood .....I think its result of corrupt thinking given by politician to public Thanks for your response and such a nice information... Happy Mylotting Take Care Ganesh
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
30 Sep 08
I think it is finally the public who become politicians. And then the politicians are chosen by us. So we the public have to be blamed in some way. And it is not only politicians who betray but also family and friends.
@rocker21 (2717)
• India
9 Sep 08
Never i wont be able to recover from this shock , coz i wont be alive for it anymore! there's one such relation i seek it maybe its my weakness or whatever it is!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
30 Sep 08
Even though it is terrible that the person whom we love should betray us we should not think that it is the end of the world.
@tatiana07 (498)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
betrayal by a family member or a friend is so painful coz i think i could trust them my life..betrayed by them is like a stabbed in my back..betrayal will change everything especially the relationship we had before will never be the same again..time can heal and i'll be able to forgive but i can't forget what they did to me..In betrayal, trust is lost.. (",)
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
30 Sep 08
Yes betrayal does change everything in the relationship, The same comfort level and the same trust can never be there. I would never ever be able to trust the person who has betrayed me...
@INGA832 (1114)
• Russian Federation
9 Sep 08
I'm a person who won't forgive everything easily. It's very hard for me. Even if I forgive our relationship would never be the same. I wouldn't be able to trust this person any more.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
10 Sep 08
I too would find it very difficult to trust the person again.
@jadegoat (89)
• United States
9 Sep 08
You didn't eluced to the nature of the betrayal, some are worse than others. If you did something to my children, I could never forgive. If they slept with my husband no way. Other things are in fact just things, and I would forgive eventually, but there would always be an heir of caution around that person.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
10 Sep 08
I dont think I would be able to ever trust a person again if I was betrayed. Our realtionship could never be like before.
• Canada
9 Sep 08
if im to be betrayed by someone close to me, i think i would surely feel disappointed and angry. who wouldnt? i mean, theyre the last person you would think to do that, right? so i guess, cutting her/him off my life, at a certain span of time, would be my step. nevertheless, i believe that time is a healer. so when im ready, il take the courage to face him/her and will try my best to put things, more or less, the way they used to be :)
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
11 Sep 08
Time is a healer...but I would find it difficult to trust the person who has betrayed me....the relationship could never be the same for me again.
• China
9 Sep 08
i will see what's happen to us, and then make a decision. i think if i could be a friend with that person, i could trust him like before. even i know i should do believe him, but it is hard to do that, need time to cure everything. i don't hate anyone in my life time, because it is not good for me and will bring me bad mood.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
30 Sep 08
Hope you have been having a good time here on mylot. I think it would be hard for all of us to believe once again in a person who has betrayed us. The pain and hurt would always be there. You may not hate that person again but you cannot love him in the same way too.
@jinxky (2251)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
when someone betrayed me, the first thing that comes from my mind is to retaliate. but when i will think it over & over again, i will just realize that getting even is just waste of time, i just let karma decide what is good for her/him lol
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
16 Sep 08
I too may let karma decide what is good or bad for him/her. But I dont think I will be able to forgive the person ever. Because it is very difficult for me to forget betrayal...