how do you forgive?

Philippines
September 9, 2008 1:08pm CST
my ex boyfriend and I broke up a year ago. He dumped me for another girl. And because of that, i'm still hurt of what he had done to me. Because of this, it's hard for me to forgive him. I already forgive him with what he had done but I still don't talk to him even when I see him. It's really awkward to be friendly with him with what he has done to me. My question is how do you forgive a person that has done wrong to you? How do you forgive an enemy of yours? Do you confront him? Do you just keep silent and let it be that way?
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
16 Sep 08
I encountered different type of situations with my ex and can say that he did cause a lot of damage at the time they occurred but I healed with time. I have learn to accept that experiences are meant to be learned from no matter how bad they had hit me. I forgave my ex for everything even though it was a task because I just want to be in peace and not hold grudges for things that can not be changed. Do not know what situations you both went through and only you can be the judge on what is the best for you to do, good luck hope it works out for you :0)
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
actually that's the only thing I want that's why I forgive him, peace of mind.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 08
That is good to be in peace is always the best. In my situation I have to deal with him for the next 18 years and peace is the best way to go.
• United States
9 Sep 08
I can totally understand where you are coming from. You have an ex that you have been with and you have feelings for them and you hope that they have the same feelings for them and you can only hope that you are their only one. Then they cheat on you. It is hard to forgive that person, but then you find yourself forgiving them. I too could never talk to an ex again after they have cheated on me. I did forgive. That is all you can do is forgive and move on. There is no rule that you have to continue talking to that person that has done you wrong in that way. Now if it was a family member or a friend, I do go back to them and let them know I forgive them of what they had done. Then we continue on as if nothing happened. Thats how I go about when forgiving someone. Unless, like in your situation it is an ex. That would be kind of hard.
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
It's nice to hear about your comment on my situation. I thought I have to communicate with my ex to be able to forgive him. It's just so hard to initiate such a move. It will look like I still want him. You're right about forgiving and moving on. I don't have to communicate with him. If it's a family member, i too as well will still communicate with him and continue as if nothing happened. It's different when we're talking about family matters. How about if your best friend?
• United States
9 Sep 08
I think with me it depends on the situation. Like if its like oh if she took my shirt without asking then, I can forgive and still talk to her. But if she stole my boyfriend or husband well actually cause I'm married, then it would be hard, but I'd forgive her, but talk to her, I don't know.
• China
9 Sep 08
According to the situation, for me, I would never talk with him anymore. Becoz I also dont know how to face him I feel hurt, so i dont want But I dont know what u think Maybe u still mind, u still care about him, rihgt? If not, how come? Will u please fotget about the past? Time will wear out all the sorrows!
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I know time will wear out all the sorrows but it's already been a year. Maybe a year isn't enough for me to move on. I'm still hurt and maybe because of that I can't face him. But I already forgive him with what he has done. I just don't know how to say it personally.
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Why do you have to forgive him? Why do you have to speak to him and be friends with him? No one is saying you have to. Just stop seeing him. Move on with your life and cut him out. Why do you force yourself through that kind of pain. He's not even worth your friendship. The only time you'll be able to be ok seeing him is when you have found happyness for yourself. You are holding on to faulse hope that he will come back to you, therefore you won't let him go. If he calls you, don't answer. cut off all ties and move on. You deserve better.
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I want to forgive because I don't want to have a grudge on him. I don't want to plant hatred in my heart forever because of what he has done. I'll be able to sleep at night peacefully if i'll be able to forgive him truthfully. You're right i'm just giving false hope on myself. I already have a new boyfriend. But sometimes, i still remember the good old times when I was with my ex boyfriend. I can't move on. I don't know how.