Right to start family after 40?

@bamakelly (5194)
United States
September 9, 2008 3:20pm CST
Do you believe that it is making sense to start a family after the age of 40 for a couple? I would like to know your views. This is just out of curiosity. There have been things in the news in the past of women over fifty having healthy babies and such.
3 people like this
9 responses
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I think it would depend on the people involved. I know that when kids become teenagers and unruly that is the hardest part of raising them. To have a teenager and be in your late 50's (which I am) is a whole lot harder than when I had teenagers and I was in my 30's. I would not want to start a family at 40 or older
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I see your point here. I have my son and he is almost five. I am now forty and not having any more. I just thought that it was interesting how some mothers choose to have a child after 40 or 50. You are so right. Just wait for the teenage years. It can probably be hard to deal with as a mother at any age when you think about it!
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
9 Sep 08
True, being a mother (or a father) can be most trying at any age
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 08
To me, it isn't so much as having a healthy baby, but i would look at it in a different way. Would a person 40+ be able to watch their kids grow up to be an adult and watch their kids grow up? I look at it from both ways. Some say no and others say yes. Some people are living to be 100 now a days..But in my experience, i got pregnant when i was 21. My son now is only 9 and i feel that i will be around to not only see him grow up, but also see any grandkids grow up as well. I think anyone can have a healthy baby no matter what age they are. Now probably, the older you get, if you do get pregnant, you may have to take care of yourself a little better to make sure you have a healthy child. I am 32 and i am already wanting another child. but i don't know if i would be around to see him/her grow up to be an adult. So, i have thought twice about it. But everyone has their own thing, and if someone over 40 wants to have a baby and they feel they can handle it now and in the future, then i say go for it. Everyone is different therefore everyone can handle things differently. I say to each his own. Have a good day!
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
10 Sep 08
That makes sense to me too along with some of my other responses. A person over 40 could be in question as to whether they might even see their children or grandchildren grow up. And yes, there are people living to be 100. I guess you never know what could happen. It might just depend on genetics in the family.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Sep 08
I had my first child when I was almost 39 and my twins when I was 42. It was OK. I wasn't as patient when I was younger. I wouldn't have another one now though, 50 is just a bit too old. As it is, my youngest graduates high school when I'm 61 or so. Any older would be too old (for me). Keep in mind though that there are possible health consequences for both the mother and the baby, the older the mother is.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Sep 08
That is right. There is also some consideration that should be made when bringing a child into the world at a later age for the mother. I just feel that as long as it is a healthy pregnancy then everything could end up quite well. I can't have any more children. I was just interested in everyone's input on the matter. I thank you for your comments.
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I think it's the business of the couple to when they want to start a family. More and more people are putting off marriage until a later age which makes them older when having a family. I have a close friend that didn't even meet her future husband until she was 37. She had her first son at 42 and the second at 45. Those are two of the smartest young men you'd want to know. Her only thoughts are 'will they ever get married and give us grandchildren while we can enjoy them?' since they are in their late 60's. My son is 40 and his wife, who is about 34, just had their second child in July. Their other son is almost 10. I'd never say that they shouldn't have had that child at their age. I had my two at 25 1/2 and 28. I thought we would have more, but didn't, but I wouldn't have wanted one in my 40's. But that's our decision and shouldn't apply to anyone else out there.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Sep 08
You are right. It is up to a couple's personal decision. If that makes somebody happy then it seems like it could be the right thing to do to start a family at any age as long as it is safe and everyone is happy. I wish you all my best.
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
9 Sep 08
My cousin lost four babies before finally being blessed with her daughter Samantha. Sammie is three now and my cousin is 45. Her husband is one year older. This baby was one of twins. The other didn't make it to term. I know she is a wonderful blessing for my cousin and believe that age has no bearing on gifts such as these! Have a great day bamakelly.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Sep 08
That is a sad situation to have lost some babies however you are right that this is definitely a blessing to be able to have the opportunity to have a child at any age. I am glad to hear that this little girl is on the earth.
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I do not see any problem with people starting their families at this age as long as they show the love, devotion and care that is needed for a young child. It does not matter the age, just because people in the older days were common of starting early does not mean that it's wrong to start a family later.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Sep 08
You are right. As long as there is responsibility toward the child and devotion then it seems that it could work out. Unconditional love could come from a mother at any age. Thank you for replying.
• Ireland
9 Sep 08
I think if a forty year old woman is quite healthy and she wants to have a baby, then she should go ahead and have one. My husband's mother was in her forties when he was born and my daughter in law's mother was also in her forties when she was born. When I was in hospital giving birth to my first child, there was a lady in her fifties giving birth to her second child. Her baby was a pefectly healthy baby. Of course it would always be advisable to talk to a GP before going ahead and becoming pregnant.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I have been quickly getting responses to this question. I would like to let you know that I am not actually the one in question about starting a family. I am 40 but my question just has to do with some of the headlines that involve older women having babies. That is great the history that you seem to have here with experience in mothers over forty having children. Hey if the mother and child are healthy then that is all you can ask for.
• United States
9 Sep 08
Most authorities on this topic agree that if you are generally healthy, get exercise and maintain a healthy diet your chances of having a normal labor should not be any different than when you were 25. women having children later in life come to parenthood with a different perspective. Work and career have often played a large part in women's lives by the time they reach their mid-thirties.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I think if the family stable financially and very healthy and active, it might be okay but I really don't think it's fair to a child to have his parents in their 70's by the time they have children. After 40, you start going downhill and you might just orphan a child. 40 isn't that bad, though, compared to having children when you're over 50. I think those women are nuts, and very selfish.