Have I Lost My Mind?
September 10, 2008 1:45pm CST
When I was a teenager, I was involved with a wonderful guy. But, being a teenager, I was wanting to go hang out with my friends all the time, and a relationship just didn't fit into that, so I split up with him. I've always regretted that since I knew he was a great guy- would never hit me, cheat on me- and would have always taken care of me in any way. After we split up, we haven't seen/talked to each other since then. I'd hear from other people that he'd asked about me, and been told things about him. Last week, I got an email from a reunion website that someone was looking for me- and I responded- it was him. We talked on the phone for several hours, and the other night he came over to my house. He's married now, with four kids. His wife had been unfaithful many times with both men and women (he's caught her in the act more than once), and he's just not happy. The only reason he's stayed this long was due to the kids, and she told him that 2 of them aren't actually his. I knew most of that before even talking to him- since I'd talked to people who knew him previously, but hearing it all from him just proves that it was more than just gossip. Anyway, he wants to get back together with me. I've only been with one person since I split up with him (long term relationship) and that ended over a year ago- and I really haven't been interested in many other guys since- until now. I told him there was no chance while he was still married, and I'm also not a kid person, so that would be another issue. The two kids that he KNOWS are his (so his wife says) are older, so I'd probably be able to handle weekend visitations, but I cannot handle young kids at all- which is why I have never had kids (just dogs). Am I out of my mind for even considering all of this or should I just walk away?
1 person likes this
11 Sep 08
I don't think so that you lost your mind. I think you still liked him or love him. Your still blinded with your feelings until now. It is part of loving. Well you make your own life,you make your own choices, you make your own moves, and you also make your own mistakes. It's your own ball,will you accept everything about him and the 2 children. It's like a buy 1 and take 2,and he can't marry you now. Do you think you can face it,and handle it well now and the future. Do you think you will deserve it? Life is simple,but we can make it complicated. Can you take the consequences your gonna face? What if think it this way after all your efforts,time you will spend your life with him and nothing happens afterwards, don't you think of the wasted time,and wasted years afterwards. I think you need time and space to think of this things for now. You already move on. In time just in time someone better then him can come along your way,or your gonna sacrifice everything just for love. If it's really meant for you he will find a way to give you a better life and that is to leave his wife file for anullment and marry you.Men have their own ways just to get a woman. God be with you! Have a nice day!
• United States
12 Sep 08
With older kids you can explain things to them and usually not have them crying uncontrollably all the time- that's one of my main issues with little kids that I don't like. The kids that he KNOWS are his are old enough that I feel I can handle, however since he's the only father the others have ever known, he does still plan on staying in their lives, and I can't fault him for that- he's a good man and doesn't want to hurt the kids at all. I don't want him to move out of his house and in with me- I think he should have his own place for awhile just so all the kids can simply get used to the idea without there being a new woman in the picture all of a sudden. Plus, it's been so long since we've really spoken, and both of us have grown up quite a bit, there is the possibility that things wouldn't work out anyway. Right now I think I'm just going to lay off and let him work his issues out at home- if he definatly decides he wants to leave his wife, then I'd be willing to give things a chance, but I don't want him to leave his wife and kids FOR me.