Should I complain or there is nothing wrong with this?

Philippines
September 12, 2008 11:36am CST
How many hours a day does your husband spend being with you and the kids? I am curious because i am on the 'verge' of complaining or maybe i am just feeling a little more sensitive lately and there is really nothing wrong with this. Or there is, and have just noticed it lately. He goes out of the house at 7. The kids wake up at 8. He comes home at 5 and sleeps until 7. SO he basically has about3 hours or less with the kids before bedtime. But he usually goes downstairs, to spend time with his parents, or just hang out by the balcony with his friends. SOmetimes he goes out and comes home at 9. He is always home though to help me bath the kids before thir bedtime. He has one day off a week and sleeps until 11 on that day. When he wakes up, he sometimes just goes out to be with his friends and comes back for lunch (4pm). On some of his days off from work, he visits his sister whose house is a two hour drive away. SPends the whole day there. SOme weekends, he stays out with friends until 12 midnight. He has only one day off from work, so that's basically also his day off from helping me with the boys. Should i complain or should i just try to understand him more? He does help me with housework when he is here though.
2 people like this
3 responses
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
12 Sep 08
I think it would be wise for you to sit down and have a conversation with him regard this. It takes two parents to raise a child and you at home with them while he is enjoying his self is wrong. Inform him that it would be good for him to be with the kids some of the times and he should remember that father bonding is important. It is not only paying bills but family time is very important. I have a friend whose babyfather leave everything on her were the Kids are concerned. Yesterday while going home I say him with another girl laughing which I never see he does with my friend. He is always complaining and when I spoke with her sometime ago about to assess her relationship she told me that she is o.k. What I say yesterday makes me see that Man is not to be trusted. This girl is the same one that she caught with him at his Aunt house. My friend but your foot down and make him spent more time with you and your kids. Let him know that yes he has friends but his family should always comes first. All the best. Kerry
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
So you mean that what he does is wrong? The "enjoying himself" part? I might take that into consideration and might bring this matter up with him. I am sorry to hear about my friend. With regards to cheating, i trust my husband on this matter though. I just feel that he has been spending more time outside than with us.
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 08
No I am not saying that it is wrong to enjoyed himself. What I am saying is that he should remember that the kids and you need some of his time. Not only at bedtime. What he can do is divide some of the time with his friends and his family. Spent less time with friends and more time with family. You see to me family time is very essential this is the time when you bond together. Whether playing games, looking over the kids books, asking about their lives, or going to church. My parents were not rich and because of this they were unable to take us to the movies etc. To compensate for this, we play games such as ludo, card packs, bingo or scrabble. I enjoyed doing this. I don't have a family of my own but if I did, I would continue these activities because it brings a bond. So just have a meeting with him in a decent manner, let him know how you feel and what you would like to see happen. Regard cheating I am not saying that he is. What I was trying to get across to you is that sometimes men tends to leave the home to the ladies and don't think that the females would like sometime by herself too. Just sit and talk and you will be shock to know that he has a tenderheart but didn't know how to use it. All the best Kerrry
• United States
13 Sep 08
He needs to give up his friends! And some of that beauty sleep too! I'd be soooo pissed, where's your help? Your's your time with him??? Those are his kids too, he should be either spending the day home helping around the house or GIVE MOM A DAY OFF!!! If he's not helping you out your family should be taking trips to the zoo & alike TOGEATHER. Once we got married and then had kids & jobs we didn't have the time for our friends. And if we did it was just a phone call or an e-mail to give updates. Eventually a person has to realize family comes first and if activities don't include EVERYONE then more than likely we decline.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
SO i guess i really should "complain" about this to him - that i need a day off. Shouldn't i give him some time off also for himself? I am not really sure you know....if what's happening (based on the details i provided on my post) is a normal thing or not. Thanks for sharing your piece of mind.
@joyadalia (1409)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
The best solution is still to talk with him. Men do not understand what we want them to if we don't tell them directly.